Redemption
by beautifully8broken
Summary: Naomi is a rebel without cause; she doesn’t follow rules or boundaries. After pushing her mother one step too far she is shipped off to boarding school in Scotland. How will she cope with the new rules, and better yet, her new redheaded roommate?
1. Chapter 1

**Redemption**

**Summary**: Naomi is a rebel without cause; she doesn't follow rules or boundaries. After pushing her mother one step too far she is shipped off to boarding school in Scotland. How will she cope with the new rules, and better yet, her new redhead roommate?

**Comments:** Just so you are aware, the school Naomi is sent to is an 11-18 age school, Naomi and Emily are both 16 to begin, and 17 shortly into the story.

**Rating:** T for the language, and possibly M later on.

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Chapter one

Mile after mile of countryside. _Mile after mile. _For possibly the thousandth time, I turn to my mother and throw her another dirty look.

"You brought this on yourself, honey" I roll my eyes, and turn to look back out of the window to look at, you guessed it, more fucking countryside.

I'm like a fish out of water when it comes to bloody trees, grass, fields... I'm used to buildings, pubs, clubs, drugs, alcohol! I haven't spotted anything resembling anything like that so far and we've been in this car for about four hours. "Nearly there" My mum announces all excitedly.

Typical of her, she gets excited at me getting dropped off at a school for the rest of the year, but she throws a shit fit at getting an escorted lift home from the police at 3am. To be fair though I was completely hammered, so much so that I woke up the next morning still hammered, with no recollection of how I got home, let alone how I was still alive after consuming copious amounts of alcohol and drugs.

Such a great night.

She finally stops the car outside what appears to be a huge mansion, the only clue that it is a school is the gold plated sign on the gate saying 'Sutherland's School for Girls'. "Fuck sake" I breathe against the window, steaming it up slightly.

I take in my surroundings, more trees, more green, but an old fashioned mansion with wooden sash windows, it doesn't look too big though, and that can only mean one thing; I have to share a room.

Being an only child, I am very much inept at the remote idea of sharing, let alone having to share my life, my room and possibly shower and toilet with another human being, well that just makes me cringe.

I open the car door, it creaks as I get out, another reminder that this idea isn't simply my tight arse mother's, my grandparents paid for all this.

She practically skips round the car, opening the boot she takes out my bags and belongings. As soon as I slam the door I reach into my shoulder bag, grabbing my cigarettes, I look up to the dark and ominous sky, "Fuck sake" I say as I light the cancer stick.

I chuckle to myself as mother struggles to get my bags outta the car, "Come on, put your back into it" She gives me a stern look before a large smile covers that dark look. She stops attempting to get my bags and walks towards me, I frown, turning round,

"There will be absolutely no smoking on campus" This anal looking woman grabs my cigarette out of my mouth, snaps it in half and throws it on the floor,

"Bitch, don't ever touch me, or my fags again, you understand" She raises her eyebrows at me and then smiles toward my mother,

"I see I'm going to have fun with this one" My mum nods eagerly,

"Naomi, remember your manners"

"My manners are currently snapped in half on the fucking floor thanks to this wench here"

"Naomi" She warns,

"What?" I hold my hands up, "It was bad manners from her for snapping my fag, if she'd have asked politely I'd have put it out"

"That is irrelevant Miss Campbell. I am Headmistress Sutherland, this institute was created by my great, great grandfather and you shall respect everything in this building"

I salute her, "Yes sir"

"Starting with collecting your bags and taking them inside"

"Bu-"

"Now Miss Campbell" She shouts, and it makes me jump a little. Fuck I need a cigarette. However I do as I'm told, I grab my bags, putting them on the floor with ease, "Say your goodbyes and I shall give you the grand tour"

"Bye" I say to the devil, formally known as my mother, as I walk past with my bags.

"Bye dear" I hear her say, getting emotional, she needn't fucking bother, it was her choice to send me here. I walk into the building, and it's as old inside as it is out. I put my bags down, realising I may have packed too much, I see a couple of girls sat in what appears to be the waiting room reading. They look at me, frown and judge me straight away. Gah I love it here already.

Finally Headmistress Anal walks towards me, having now lost her stern look and developing a sort of smile, which is creeping me out. Everything about her creeps me out to be completely honest. Her tight bun, not one piece of hair out of place, her pale face, bony, shiny, her piercing green eyes which burn when she looks at you. Then her outfit choice, which is surprisingly a turn on... a dark, chequered suit, a tight suit which clings in all the right places, but is convenient enough to hide the stick up her arse, and those god awful shoes, looks like she's stole them from an old people's home, when this woman standing in front of me can't be much older than 35. "Once you finish staring, we may proceed with the tour"

"Joy"

"Your mother has told me all about you, your mischievous ways, your alcoholism, your drug addiction, your sexuality, everything Miss Campbell, and these things will not be tolerated at this school"

"So you're saying if I'm caught being naughty, drinking alcohol, taking drugs or having sex with one of your students I'll be kicked out of here?" I say, hopefully,

"No."

"Oh, that's no fun"

"You will be punished accordingly, but I will not tolerate of any of those things, and believe me, the punishment you shall receive if you do any of those things is a fate worse than death"

"Is that a threat?" I raise my eyebrow,

"You shall not get a rise out of my Miss Campbell, so I shouldn't even attempt to" Her posh demeanour is soon wearing off now the threats have rolled out. "This is the welcome hall. Over here is where our receptionist will greet our visitors, if for any reason you do leave you will need a note from me and you will need to sign out when you leave, and sign back in again on your return."

"Right, prison, got it"

"Through there is the dining hall, and all the other rooms on this floor are the classrooms, there are classrooms on the first two floors, the third and fourth floors are the dormitories"

"Surely I need to know where all my classes are"

"Not necessary, your roommate is already in all of your classes"

"Oh" She takes me up a series of stairs, and I'm out of breath after the first two flights,

"I think a break from your filthy habits would be very much welcomed after walking up and down these stairs for a week, don't you think?" She sniggers to herself, and as she's walking up the stairs I take note to give her the bird, before swiftly picking up my bags again.

Finally, we make it to the top floor, the hallway resembling 'The Shining' which is a little creepy also. But needless to say I'm glad we have to do no more walking. She curls her finger, which I'm assuming is a hint to follow her, "This room here is the bathroom, and the room on the right is the shower room, we also have bath tubs in there, but it is communal living so you will be sharing this with the other 25 students on this floor"

"Lovely"

"This" She stops, opening the door, "Is your room" 211, I have to remember that. I walk in, putting my bags down. I see two single beds at either side of the room, a wardrobe next to each bed, and a two desks either side of the door.

Sitting on one of the beds is a petit redhead, she's sat cross legged reading from a book, she glances up at me and smiles politely, I look at her like she's just shat an egg, and she continues to read from her book, looking a little bashful. "This is your roommate, Emily Fitch"

"Charmed" I say, putting my bags next to my bed and sitting down, giving myself a breather, "There are no classes today as it's the first day of term, classes will start tomorrow morning at 8am"

"8am, you're fucking kidding me?" Emily snaps her head towards me, her eyes wide,

"I kid you not, please refrain from using that language"

"Fuck me, 8am" I say to myself, and Headmistress Anal simply coughs, "Yes Sir" I say, and she looks sternly,

"Miss" She corrects, but I just look at her like she's trying to get my attention,

"What?"

"You refer to me as Miss"

"Whatever"

"Emily" The redhead stands up and smiles at Anal, "I apologise profusely about your roommate, but hopefully her attitude will calm in the coming weeks, making her a normal student"

"You mean devoid of any character, individuality and creativity. Just another clone?" Emily chuckles to herself briefly before suppressing it, I take my jacket off and throw it to one side,

"In your case, yes"

"That's a bit harsh" I smile possessively at Anal and she twitches her eyes a little,

"We will collect your dirty laundry twice a week, Tuesday's and Saturday's. Light's out is at 9pm on a weekday, 10:30pm on a weekend"

"Wow, you know how to party" She ignores me,

"Breakfast is at 7:30am, classes start at 8am, lunch is at 12pm, dinner is served at 6pm"

"Gotcha" I smile, winking at her.

"Your uniform is hung up in your wardrobe"

"Fantastic"

"Any questions?"

"Where's the nearest pub?"

"About five miles away"

"Ahh shit"

"Right, on that note... anything else you need to know I'm sure Emily will be more than willing to help" she walks to the door, "Good day Ladies" She closes the door and I wait until I can no longer hear her granny shoes slapping against the wood before I open a window widely.

"What are you doing?"

"Hey, red... quiet please, I've got a thumping headache" I pull a cigarette out of my packet, leaning out of the window I light it up, breathing in the toxins and instantly feeling more relaxed,

"The name is Emily, and you can't smoke in here"

"Well I can, there aren't any 'no smoking' signs, so..."

"It's a fundamental rule" I giggle,

"Woah" I say, holding my hands up, "In that case" I say sarcastically, she clicks her tongue and sits back on her bed,

"We've had people like you here before, you won't last five minutes"

"Attitude, I like it" I smile at her. She rolls her eyes, "So what did you do to get here?" She frowns at me, "Well we're roommates, we may as well get along"

"What did you do?"

"I asked you first"

"I want to know what you did _first_" she smiles,

"Drugs, alcohol, sex, rock and roll" I shrug, and she laughs, "Now you go"

"My parents thought I'd do better in this environment then at a normal school, plus they were going through a divorce, and one absentee child is better than all of them being at home"

"Ahh, that's... boring" I take a drag of my cig and look at her again, "So you got some siblings?"

"Yeah, I got a twin sister and a little brother"

"Is your sister here?"

"No, she's too thick to come to this school" She laughs,

I finish my cigarette and stub it out on the wall.

"So..." I say, laying on my concrete mattress, she looks at me expectantly, "Is this your first year here?"

"No, I was here last year" She speaks so quietly I'm struggling to actually hear what she's saying. I think I've got a shy roommate on my hands,

"Awesome" I say, with absolutely no energy to this conversation what-so-ever. "What do you mean you've had people like me before?"

"Effy, our head girl, she was like you, only worse when she came here three years ago, Miss Sutherland helped her"

"There's nothing wrong with me" I argue, but she ignores my advances and continues reading her book, "Well, as much fun as this has been, I'm bored so I'm going for a walk" She nods as I walk out the door. I breathe a sigh of relief as I step out of that room. I get a dork for a roommate, is this place just out to punish me forever?

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What do you think? R&R please, very much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow! 36 comments! I am shocked! But extremely happy, thanks for commenting. Very much so =D

Hope I don't disappoint too much!

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Chapter two

My little walk around the school was as dull as the conversation in the room, it's like a ghost town in here. There are barely any students, and the ones I do see, well they don't interest me at all. I make it back up to my room and Red is still sat in the exact same position as she was when I left, about half an hour ago. "What is wrong with you?" I ask as I walk in, closing the door behind me, "Shouldn't you be hanging out with your friends, seeing as we've got no lessons" I sit down on my bed and study her.

Her bright red hair, which is in no way natural, her deep dark brown eyes which flick across the pages of whatever book she is reading, and then occasionally flicking my way briefly. Her cute little button nose, then down to her slight pouty mouth. She has a nice figure on her, yet she hides it underneath layers of clothes. She finally looks at me and answers, her husky voice filling the room,

"I don't really have many friends"

"But you said you were here last-"

"I keep to myself, mainly"

"Why?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Curious" I shrug,

"You'd better get unpacked before Miss Agnes gets here"

"Who is Miss Agnes?" I ask, raising my eyebrow,

"She is the supervisor of this floor, she makes sure everything is in check, makes sure we aren't hiding anything and that our rooms are tidy"

"Christ this is like a prison" She chuckles to herself, but I stand up and start unpacking as I'm advised. "Shit" I curse,

"What?"

"What am I gonna do with my fags?" I genuinely panic,

"Uh, I've got a safe in my wardrobe if you want to keep them in there?"

"A safe?" She laughs lightly,

"A reward for good behaviour" She says, "They provide a small safe to keep all your private belongings in if you have good behaviour for six months"

"Fuck sake" I laugh, this place is pathetic,

"I keep my phone, my money, iPod all that in there, but there is plenty of room for other things if you want to use it, I don't mind"

"Will they check it, I don't want to get you into trouble"

"They can't, I have my own personal code for it, and key, so they can't get into it"

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all" She actually has a nice smile, when it's not tinged with complete and utter bashfulness.

"Thanks" Ok, so she's not actually that bad...

The door opens, startling the both of us, a tall, extremely thin brunette walks in, a smile gracing her lips. I look to Emily who is blushing profusely.

"Hey Effy" She says, her voice barely above a whisper,

"Good to see you again Emily" This Effy chick says with a devilish smile on her face, she is actually quite hot, possibly one of the finest piece of ass I've seen here so far. "You're the new girl" She smiles politely, "I'm Effy, head girl" She holds her hand out, I'd normally have a sex quip about that phrase but as she's looking into my eyes with those piercingly beautiful blue orbs of hers, I'm almost rendered speechless.

Now that's a first, "Naomi Campbell" I grab her hand and shake it firmly,

"I've heard about you" She smiles, "You have quite the reputation"

"I try" I smile, and she giggles briefly, "So do tell, what stories are going around about me?"

"There are many, some say you were sent here because you have a drug addiction, others an alcohol addiction, but the most popular one is that you got caught in a compromising position with a girl from your previous school"

"All true, all true" I smile proudly. "Although exaggerated" She frowns,

"How so?"

"Well I'm not addicted to drugs, nor am I alcohol, I simply like to get fucked up, and secondly the compromising position that I was caught in was with a girl... but she was the headmistresses daughter" she raises her eyebrow and chuckles briefly,

"Well, it's a small place, people are excited to have something new to talk about, give it a month and they'll move onto something else"

"I don't mind, used to it" I smile, gaining more confidence, "I hear you were quite the troublemaker yourself?"

"Oh, I was" She smiles mysteriously,

"What changed?"

"Nothing, I've just learnt how to hide it better" She winks at me. "If you need anything... and I mean _anything_ my room is 189" Was that a sexual innuendo? Please say it was.

"If I do, you'll be the first person I come to" She smiles,

"See you two around hopefully" Emily giggles, then blushes even more furiously if that was possible, Effy and I simply frown before she leaves.

"Ok, she's gone, you can breathe now" I say,

"I'm fine" She says, sounding anything but fine,

"Right, you've gone all hot, your flushed, you went giddy... Red? You've got a thing for the head girl haven't you?"

"No!" She says quickly, and I laugh,

"Liar"

"I do not" I walk up to her, realising she's all wholesome and sweetness and like, I kneel down next to her bed and force eye contact on her, knowing she can't lie...

"Tell that to my face" I say, smiling smugly, she looks at me, her eyes boring into mine, she opens her mouth to speak but no words come out, then she turns and looks away,

"Fuck" I laugh,

"Hey, it's ok, I won't tell anyone, and anyway, you have good taste"

"I'm not gay"

"Ok..." I say, still kneeling down next to her bed, I lower my voice, "Imagine Effy walking in right now, grabbing you by the hand, pulling you to your feet. You're barely inches away from her face as her warm breath washes over your moist lips. She lifts her hand up, brushing away your fringe slightly, she smiles ever so coyly at you as she leans in, knowing that you both want her to..." I smile, seeing her pupils grow, her breath hitches, "Yeah, you're not gay, not at all"

"I don't like you right now" She says, fidgeting on her bed, moving further away from me,

"Is it cause I'm right, Red?" She looks at me briefly before turning back around,

"No, you're not right... I don't know what I am, ok?" she says, getting agitated.

"I can help with that, you know"

"I am not sleeping with you" I giggle, and try not to make it sound offensive, but it doesn't work,

"I didn't mean that" I sigh, "If you want my help, well I'm your roommate so I'll help"

"With what?"

"Figuring you out" I say simply... "Everybody goes through a stage of 'I'm gay!', you may just be having one of those stages" I say, and she nods,

"Maybe... but"

"But what?"

"You're the only person to notice it and... Effy isn't the first"

"Oh you're admitting it now, huh?" I wink at her, "Look I have a finely tuned gaydar, I could spot a lesbian blindfolded in a room full of straight women!" she giggles, "It's true"

"Whatever" She shrugs, "How do you plan to help me?"

"Was Headmistress Anal right when she said the nearest pub is 5 miles away" She nods, "Shit... well that's out of the question"

"There is a ball here at the end of the week"

"A ball?" I raise my eyebrows, she nods, "Why?"

"There always is... marks the start of term"

"Right, we'll have to find a suitor for you then"

"Why are you doing this?" She asks, frowning, "You met me like an hour ago"

"I like projects... keeps me occupied"

"So it's true?" I frown, "You're gay?"

"Very" I smile, and she chuckles,

"How did you know?"

"I've always known... I guess. Something's been different."

"How?"

"This guy from back home, Freddie, everybody fancied Freddie... every single girl with a pulse fancied Freddie, except for me. Even if you had a type, and Freddie wasn't it, you still fancied him, but I, myself, didn't see the appeal. Sure he was a good looking bloke, but he didn't make my mini throb, not like a certain girl did" I smile, reminiscing about it,

"What was her name?"

"Jane" She laughs, "I know, plain Jane, but if you'd have seen her, by god!" I say, sighing, "She was simply the embodiment of sex!"

"Was she your first?"

"No, it never went anything further than a crush" I say, looking away, fiddling at her bed quilt,

"How come?"

"There are some girls who aren't 100% straight and will consider doing something with a girl, an experiment as it's called, well she was 100% straight, so even I didn't have a chance" I laugh,

"So who was your first?" She asks, shuffling, suddenly getting interested.

"My first?" I sigh, "It's not interesting" I shake my head,

"Course it is, come on" She practically claps, like a performing seal,

"I was 15... and she was" I clear my throat, "23" her mouth falls to the floor,

"23?" She looks even more shocked, "That's like paedophilia" She says, her mouth falling further to the floor,

"In her defence I didn't look 15, and I was in a club which is strictly 18 plus" Her mouth closes a little,

"Oh, that's not so bad then" I chuckle,

"No, she wasn't" I wink at her, and she blushes again, "It wasn't like that..." She frowns, "She found out I was a virgin... I don't know, I guess she took some kind of pity, either that or sexual gratification... she taught me everything... I know it sounds silly, but she taught me how to fuck a girl"

"Why does that sound silly?" She frowns,

"Well the general theme of lesbianism is that it's easy, you just do what you do to yourself, only on somebody else"

"Right..."

"It's not as easy as that, you know how to get yourself off... but everybody is different, and she taught me that... she was actually a new lesbians dream" I giggle,

"So is that why you're gonna help me?" I snap my head to hers and she quickly changes, "I mean not like she did but..."

"Kinda, I guess. I know how daunting it can be... and without her, I probably still wouldn't have a clue, and it helped, a hell of a lot" I say the last part laughing slightly, "She really was a god send, and hopefully in the coming months, you'll be saying that about me" I smile smugly,

"So what happened?"

"With?"

"The godsend?

"Oh, nothing... it was a one night thing, I never saw her again after that night"

"Did you want to?"

"No... It was perfect as it was, another meeting would have ruined it"

"I guess" She nods, "So have you had a girlfriend?"

"No" I say quickly, "I don't do girlfriends"

"What? Why?"

"I just don't. I like to play the field, I'm not like some lasses who want to settle down, have lots of adoptee babies... no, I like the way I am"

"So you'll never have a girlfriend"

"God, you're one of them aren't you?" I laugh, and she blushes, "I didn't mean that in a nasty way"

"I just don't see the point in casual sex" She says the last part quietly, and I realise I've got a task on my hands, "It's pointless" I laugh, "What?" She asks,

"Well of course you won't, silly... you're a virgin... wait til you have your first lettuce licking, oooh, you'll be begging for a next" I'm starting to like making her blush!

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	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for the reviews! Some of you made some guesses on how this story is going to go... I don't even know myself yet so...! lol. This one is kind of a filler chapter, introducing another character.

I'm glad you like it and hope you continue to do so.

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Chapter three

"Naomi" I pull the covers over my head and grunt, "Naomi, fuck sake" now I'm being shaken,

"Fuck, what?" I sit up quickly, seeing Emily stood sheepishly beside me, I glare at her, "What?" I snap when she doesn't answer,

"It's quarter past 7" She says quietly, "Breakfast in fifteen"

"Ugh... I'll pass"

"You have to go to breakfast" She says, her voice still quiet,

"I don't _have_ to do anything"

"Naomi" She warns, but it doesn't rest well with me,

"I don't eat breakfast"

"They have coffee"

"Coffee?" I say, my eyes widening, she nods, smiling. Fuck, not even 24 hours and she already knows two of my vices. Well three if you add women to that list. "Ok, ok" I swing my legs round. "Can you get me a fag?" She walks to the wardrobe and gets one out, grabbing my lighter also. "God My arse is hungry" I groan uncomfortably as I pull my pyjama bottoms out of my arse. Emily blushes as she looks away, and I smile. Like I said, starting to like making Red blush! I open the window far and light up. "How do you know I like coffee anyway?"

"Just a guess" She shrugs while making her bed. I look at her, her hair is immaculate and she looks rather sexy in her uniform. This place is growing on me.

"What time did you get up?" I frown,

"Half 6"

"What?" I raise my eyebrows, "Shit"

"I'm an early riser"

"No shit" The rest of my fag is smoked in silence, the toxic fumes washing over me, calming me from my bad mood. I throw it against the tree next to our room and close the window. "Just going to brush my teeth" She nods as she is still tweaking her bed sheets. I'm back quickly and I start to get dressed in my uniform.

This place is really sadistic, a blue plaid skirt with white chequered patterns, a white shirt, a blue bow thingy and a fucking blazer that matches the skirt. Are they honestly taking the piss?

I walk to the mirror, fiddling with the bow thing, before eventually giving up, I tie it around my neck and use it as a neck scarf instead, I turn around and Emily chuckles at me, "You can't wear it like that"

"Tough shit, I haven't quite mastered the art"

"Here" She says, walking over, holding her hand out, I just let my hands flop down by my side, she unties the 'neck scarf' and lifts my collar up, "It's just like tying your shoe laces" She says softly, putting the bow around my neck, tying it with ease. I turn and look in the mirror, admiring my new bow thing. I turn and look back at a proud Red, I smile,

"You know, if you had a little more confidence, there would be nothing stopping you bagging Effy" She frowns before looking at the floor,

"I could never get a girl like Effy"

"Sure you can" I say encouragingly, "Look in order for me to hook you up, you need to be sure of yourself" She looks up, taking note, "If a girl walks up to you and starts coming on to you, she will more than likely be put off by the 'shy' demeanour that you give off"

"I'm not that shy" She argues, but it's no use,

"Red, your cheeks blush to the same colour of your hair" I smile, noting the slight blush on her cheeks, "See" I chuckle to emphasise my point, "Look, you don't need to be shy... most people who ooze confidence are secretly insecure, all I've got to teach you is to turn that bashfulness into charisma and charm"

"We've only got a couple of days til the ball" She says, and I giggle,

"Fuck sake" I grab her shoulders and shake her, "Listen to me, ok? I know what I'm talking about"

"You're nothing like I expected"

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Sutherland took me aside when I got here and told me about you..."

"Right..."

"You're not what I expected"

"Good or bad?" I ask, raising my eyebrow, and she smiles widely, "I'll take that as good"

"It's just she painted you like a spoilt brat who doesn't like people and is forever getting in trouble"

"Ok..." I roll my eyes, I hate being stereotyped, although I don't help matters but still, "I like challenges, I'm a flirt, I like parties, I like drugs, alcohol... I like fucking girls, not making loves, but fucking them until their body is shaking from pure pleasure. Yes, I have an attitude, but I happen to like it. I can be a bitch, but I am only a bitch to people I do not like. So your safe so far Red" She looks to the floor to hide her smile, but I lift her chin up so I can look in her eyes, "I saw that" I smirk, and she blushes, "Jesus, it's amazing your cheeks don't burst with the amount of blood rushing to them" I joke, but she apologises, "No need, its cute" I smile genuinely, "Look, don't believe the hype, ok? Make your own mind up about me, don't use somebody else's opinion"

"Ok" She smiles, "We're gonna be late" I nod and follow her out.

************

Day one of lesson's.

Today's lesson's consist of English, Writing, Language, Biology, Physical Education, and then IT.

Lovely! Where can I go though if I decide to skip a lesson? This place is shit! I walk into my first lesson with Red leading me to our seats. I sit down, taking in the archaic surroundings. Rolling my eyes, I wonder where they keep their canes.

A youngish bloke walks in, wearing jeans, a shirt and a jumper over the top of the shirt. He leans against the table and takes in his students. There is something about this teacher... he relaxes me, in a way. Intrigues me.

"Right" He starts, and I already know he's Irish, "I'm Kieran, but you're not supposed to call me that..." He sighs, "If any other teacher is around, just call me Sir, in this room I don't like titles, there is nobody higher here, and as corny as it sounds, we are all equal." He smiles, "Except the French" This causes the class to giggle. "This room is English, here we'll be learning about literature, poems, sonnets, and all that other crap" Most of the class gasp, but I turn to Red with a big grin,

"I like him" she giggles.

"Now I consider myself to be quite a laid back teacher, but what you have to understand is that I am laid back if the work gets done, if not my foot will be so far up your arse my toes will be tickling your nose" He says, pointing his finger to the class. I laugh, and then he smiles, making everybody release the breath they held in. Cowards. "As you will see there is a piece of paper and a pencil in front of you. Make yourself comfortable." He smirks, "You have five minutes to write down as many things as you can about Shakespeare, these can range from his hometown, to his plays, style of writing, characters, anything and everything you can think of so long as it relates back to Shakespeare" He hears everybody's disappointed sighs as he turns around writing the task on the chalkboard. "Hey, I know Shakespeare isn't everybody's idea of a fantastic read, but what you will learn in this class is to appreciate his fantastic work, and better yet, understand it. He is one of the defining writers in English History, and his work deserves to be studied and learned from. That and it is rather difficult, some of them anyway."

The lesson went quick, far too quick, I actually enjoyed that. Actually, to be completely honest... all the lesson's aren't bad, if rather intellectual, they aren't as bad as I first thought. Then again it is only the first day.

"Before you all start your dinner" Anal pipes up in the dining hall, causing all of us to stand up out of 'respect'. I grunt, "I would like to thank you all for a fantastic first day. All the teachers are proud of our new students and returning students and I foresee this year to be a fantastic one" She starts to clap, and in turn we all join in,

"Woop, woop, yeeeah!" I shout, earning giggles, dirty looks, and lastly but not least, Anal's disappointed eyes boring down on me.

"Please proceed" She says sitting down and tucking in.

"What is this?" I ask, my fork moving around the black/brown lump on my plate, with a pile of what I presume to be mash next to it, some peas and carrots to the other side. I look to Red opposite me and she smirks,

"Mince"

"Eugh" I say, picking up a fork full, and watching it slop back onto the plate,

"Try it, honestly" She nods, tucking into her own with a satisfied smile on her face, I put some more onto my fork, my tongue peaks out, licking the end of the fork, and it isn't actually that bad, Red gathers this from my surprised expression,

"See... Looks can be deceiving" She smiles cleverly,

"Oh my, really? I have never heard that before, Red. Thanks for clearing that up"

"You are very welcome" She smirks,

"See, there it is" I point at her with my sludge filled fork, and she frowns,

"What?"

"Confidence... ok, sarcasm, but still sarcasm is a form of confidence" I check that over in my mind, and yeah, it is, so I nod to affirm my statement.

"Sarcasm is not a form a confidence" She says,

"Ok, what is it then?"

"A form of humour that is marked by mocking with irony, Mostly in speech where a person will use it over dramatically, making it obvious. In layman's terms, saying something and meaning the opposite"

"Wrong" I cough, "That is the literal term for sarcasm, its a verbal tone in which it is obvious from context that the speaker means the opposite of what he or she says" She chuckles.

"I just said that" She laughs harder,

"I stopped listening half way through" I grin at her, she simply shakes her head,

"Hey guys" Effy sits down beside me, a girl sitting down next to Emily, "You looked pretty bored, so I thought I'd come entertain"

"Nah, we were just discussing the meaning of sarcasm" I say, smiling,

"Why?" She says, emotionless,

"Why not?" She raises one eyebrow and looks between the two of us,

"Whatever" she sighs, "I can get some alcohol for Saturday" I almost snap my neck as I look at her so quickly,

"Serious?" She nods,

"You in?" I nod eagerly, looking to Red who looks a little nervous,

"What?" I ask, and she shakes her head,

"What if we get caught?"

"Live a little, Red" I smile,

"You won't get caught Ems" Effy smiles enthusiastically, "Trust me" Emily blushes and looks away, "So you in" Emily nods, "Cool, catch you later" She leaves the table almost as soon as she sits down. Disappearing into the sea of people.

"Look, do you see how she is simply the embodiment of confidence, look at her" I say, and Red does, but then looks back at me, "You think if she was a babbling idiot she would have you craving to lick the lid of life?"

"Naomi" She says, "Don't be grotesque" I hold my hands up, "But look at her, she's stunning"

"You're no eyesore" I frown and her and she shakes her head, "Are you blind?"

"The last time I checked, no"

"Oooh, you're getting good at this sarcasm thing"

"What can I say, I'm easily influenced"

"Touché" I giggle, "Why can't you be like this around her?" I ask, tucking into my surprising delicious plate of food that resembles a steaming pile of shit,

"I don't know... I feel comfortable around you... even though you're a bitch"

"Honey, if you want a bitch, I can give it to you... this" I motion with my hands, "Is nothing" I whisper the last part, and she giggles loudly,

"You make me laugh"

"Evidently" I grin.

****************


	4. Chapter 4

And so it begins!

Thank you so so much for the reviews and the comments. As I say all the time, Hope I don't disappoint!

****************

Chapter four

It's the end of day three of lessons, and the sadistic bastards decided to give us 'homework', which is to write an essay with at least two thousand words detailing why the world is in such dire straits.

Hand fucking written!

They are seriously taking the piss. I'm only on my hundredth word and my hand is already cramping. The lack of technology here is just breathtakingly painful! "Fuck sake" I moan for the umpteenth time, sat at my desk with Emily quite happily scribbling away, "They are abusers" I say, and I hear a giggle,

"Shut up moaning, Christ sake, I'm trying to concentrate here"

"How many words you done?"

"Last count was 1500"

"We only started half an hour ago!" I turn and look at her, the back of the wooden chair creaking a tad as I lean against it, she turn around grinning,

"I'm a fast writer"

"Bitch" I mutter under my breath,

"So... what's happening on Saturday?" She asks, taking my attention away from the work again.

"We're going to the ball" I smile, and she gives me a stern look, "We're gonna hook you up" I smile widely, and she shakes her head,

"I think you're getting ahead of yourself, I can barely speak to Effy, let alone hook up with her" I frown,

"Who said anything about Effy?" She laughs, thinking I'm being sarcastic, but this time I actually aren't. "Look, you go to a restaurant, you order the mouth-wateringly 10oz steak, right" she nods, "You don't get given that first, you have a starter, preparing you for that fantastic steak that you know is gonna be worth the wait"

"Right..." She struggles with the analogy,

"Basically we're not going after Effy, she is out of your league at the minute, you need to be calm, confident... experienced..." She panics,

"I can't"

"Yes you can" I smile,

"No, I actually can't..."

"What is your problem?" I roll my eyes at the drama,

"I don't want my first time with some random"

"I didn't say you had to fuck her..."

"But..."

"You are sexually inexperienced... A little experience, however small, will add to your confidence... a kiss, a grope, anything... it will flip a switch in you"

"I don't get you" I roll my eyes again, standing up I sit backwards on the chair, my arms resting on the back,

"Red?" She nods, "I need you to answer me this honestly, because I have an inkling, and I hope it isn't true, but for me to help, I need honesty" She nods, biting her lip, "Have you even kissed a girl before?" She looks away and my mouth falls to the floor, "A guy?" She looks even further away, "You're fucking kidding me" I say, gobsmacked,

"There's something wrong with me" She says quietly,

"No, no" I'm quick to stop her, "Physically, there is nothing wrong with you, you're a babe Red!" She blushes at this, and I can't help the small smile that creeps onto my lips, "Emotionally... there is"

"I know"

"It's not uncommon you know" She finally looks at me, "Some people are late starters"

"You weren't"

"I'm me..." I shrug, "Look, do you want to learn?" Now she panics,

"Not with you"

"Gee, thanks" Is it wrong that I'm a little disappointed at that?

"I didn't mean it like that, I mean you're... you... we..." She growls in frustration, "We're friends"

"I know, I know" I roll my eyes, "Answer anyway"

"Yeah, obviously I want to learn"

"Then trust me ok, we'll find you some piece of arse, or lips, in this place if it kills me"

"But..."

"What?"

"I want my first kiss to be memorable... I don't want it to just be practice... I want someone I actually care for" She says quietly blushing... All together now; Awwwwwww.

"Right... well that kinda dampens my plan"

"Sorry"

"Stop apologising, ok?"

"Sorry"

"Grr" She chuckles, "I'll think of something else, in the next day..." I sigh. There's no way Effy would... well actually, she might... hmm. If I ask,

"What, you've thought of something haven't you?" She says, a smile on her lips,

"What, me? No" I sigh, smiling,

"Tell me"

"I can't"

"Naomi" She has this tone, she may be sweet and innocent, and nobody scares me, but that tone when she wants you to do something, well you do it. It's kinda sexy.

"I could always... ask-"

"No, not a chance, I won't let you do that, that's charity... I want her to kiss me, only if she wants to, not because you asked her"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes" I hold my hands up.

"Ok, ok, I won't, chill" She has a content smile on her face which tickles me. I turn back around and get on with my work.

*************

Ok, it's Saturday and I'm officially pissed off! Every single student has gone out for the day, getting their hair done, getting an outfit for tonight or whatever and I've gotta stay here.

What did I do? You ask. Well, not the best thing to be doing in your room during an inspection... sitting hanging out of the window in my underwear while smoking a joint. My excuse to Miss Agnes didn't exactly go down well either, apparently being stressed isn't a good enough reason to kick back with the good old weed and chill out. Naturally I was sent to Anal.

"I am very disappointed in you Miss Campbell" She sat behind her rather large desk as I'm slumped in my chair,

"Really?" I say, still tripping from the weed,

"Yes" Then the giggle fits followed. All five minutes of them. I don't normally get the giggles, I generally just get the munchies real bad. Perfect time to get them, don't you think?

"Miss Campbell" She shouts at me, but the louder she gets, the more my laughter goes up. Eventually it dies down, "You're privileges are now revoked"

"Privileges?" I ask, giggling, "This _is_ a fucking prison"

"If you had held out for another day you would learn that as a result of a fantastic weeks start of term I am allowing all students out for the day on Saturday, from when they wake until dinner. You are now excluded from that and therefore will be here with the staff"

"Oh, fuck sake, I need an outfit for Saturday"

"For that you will have to stay in the following Saturday also"

"Bollocks"

"The one after"

"Boobies" I giggle, "Sorry, had to"

"That's one month without leaving the premises Miss Campbell, care to make it two?" I zip it now,

"Ok, I'm quiet"

"Good" She nods, sitting forward she talks to me seriously, "I am good at reading people Miss Campbell, and you're attitude, it's just not you. Maybe you think being like this will make people like you, I don't know. I just hope you would realise that it doesn't hurt to be yourself."

"Thanks Oprah, are we done?" She sighs, her hand flicks, telling me to leave. I need a cigarette.

**

That was yesterday, so now as I'm sat in my room, all alone I remember what Effy said. _"I'm just better at hiding it"_

That's what I have to do, I have to find a way to still do all these things but just not get caught.

It's only about 3pm, and I'm still in bed. So needless to say I'm shocked when Red walks in, "Jesus you don't take long do you?"

"No" She smiles, with a few bags in her hands, "I got you something" She grins,

"What you got me?" I get out of bed quickly, giving myself a head rush,

"You haven't even got out of bed yet?" She says, putting the shopping on her perfectly made bed,

"It's not like I've anywhere to be"

"Well I know you were pissed that you couldn't get an outfit"

"You didn't" I say, getting excited, "Red..." I sigh as she pulls out a dress.

"I didn't know what you'd like, so I picked what I think you'd look great in" She lays the dress out on her bed,

"My god, Red..." I smile widely at her, grabbing her and pulling her into an awkward hug I pick up my new dress, "I love it!" It is a dress, but it's made to look like a skirt and a strappy top. The skirt is bright blue with big buttons down the front of the skirt, the top part of the dress is just a simple black strap top. I pull the garment against me, I check the tag, she even got the right size! "How much do I owe you?" I ask, and she shakes her head,

"Call it an early thanks"

"For what?"

"Helping me" She says shyly, "So you like it?"

"I fucking love it, it's exactly what I'd have picked myself."

"Good. I thought blue, cause it would really make your eyes pop, oh and I got you this also" I frown as she looks into the bag, pulling out a blue long necklace, "I assume you have shoes"

"Oh, I do, thanks, you're great" I smile, getting giddy, now getting excited about tonight. "But really, how much do I owe you?"

"Nothing, really"

"Sure?" I raise my eyebrows and she nods eagerly, "Ok, what you got?"

"It's a surprise" She grins,

"Oh come on"

"No, no. I want to see your reaction when it's on..." I frown, "Not like that, god you're so self centred" She giggles, "I mean if you like it, Effy will" She smiles widely, "Anyway, I'm gonna go get a shower, before the rush"

"Ok" I keep looking at my dress, amazed that she got me it. She knew I was pissed off about being housebound, but I never thought in a million years that she'd go and get me something, and that I'd like it!

She doesn't take long in the shower, and I go in after. I really don't know how I'm gonna do this for her. I know it's odd, I'm classed as a rebel, I've been expelled, I've had warnings from the police, I've been kicked out by my mums and sent here, yet here I'm helping a girl.

Then again, I've always said I don't like stereotypes.

There are a few other girls showering at the same time as me, naturally we have separate showers, as much as I call this a prison, we don't all shower together like I assume prisoners do... unfortunately. I grab a towel, wrapping it around myself I make my way back to my room. I walk in and Red's sat at her desk drying her hair. "You ok?" I ask, she has a serious expression,

"Nervous"

"Don't be nervous" I smile,

"Easier said than done I'm afraid" She says. She puts the towel down, her hair still slightly damp, but perfectly wavy. She grabs a can of moose, spraying a lump into the palm of her hand she starts to scrunch her hair, thus forming more curls. I sit down on the bed, drying my hair. We've got plenty of time before 7pm when we have to be down the main hall, so I take my time.

"What are you so nervous about?"

"lots of thing" She shrugs, "Who you're gonna set me up with... what's gonna happen after, if Effy isn't interested in me... my first kiss"

"Don't fret about it ok... it will happen when it will happen." I put the towel down, walking over to her desk, "I'm borrowing your straighteners by the way"

"Sure, you can borrow them" She laughs, I stand next to her, feeling that she needs a little assurance,

"What's the worst that could happen, really?" She looks up at me, on the verge of a rant, or so it seems anyway,

"Oh, I don't know, everybody turning on me for finding out I'm gay, Effy seeing it all, being a terrible kisser"

"Oh for fuck sake, you can't possibly be that bad" I say,

"Well I don't know do I? I don't even know what it feels like to" I don't know what it is, be it trying to shut her up, pity, or because I want to, but I lean down, silencing her with one swift kiss. I hesitate, lingering slightly, waiting for her to register what is happening. I open my eyes slightly to see that hers are closed. My tongue peaks out, licking her lip slightly. She takes the hint, opening her mouth. I'm gentle as my tongue enters her mouth. Her breath hitches slightly as my tongue touches hers, she's a quick study. I pull away, smiling as I see her head still in the same position, her eyes still closed and her mouth slightly parted,

"You can stop worrying now" I smile smugly as I walk off. Completely and utterly ignoring the feeling in the pit of my stomach which has since surfaced since my good deed...

***************


	5. Chapter 5

I did try to upload this on Friday and Saturday but for some reason it wouldn't let me! My apologies!

Anyhows, sorry to keep you waiting, not entirely my fault, but hey ho.

Thanks for the comments, as always!

**********

Chapter Five

"Uh... thanks, I guess" She frowns, and I giggle,

"What?"

"I didn't ask-"

"I know you didn't ask me to..." I start, looking at her, "But you were so nervous, I couldn't think of anything to say so I did the next best thing"

"And kissed me?" She giggles,

"Yeah" I frown at her,

"Oh, ok then" She turns back round to her mirror and starts applying make-up.

Maybe I shouldn't have done that... It's just she was being irrational, I couldn't think of anything to say that would calm her nerves and the first thought that crossed my mind was to kiss her, to give her her first kiss. Maybe I was wrong to do that, I don't know... but I wish I didn't do it...

My heart is pounding, my mouth is dry, I can still taste her essence on my lips. My stomach is trying out for the diving team with all the flips it's doing.

It can't be... I can't like her...

She's not even my type, and I haven't known her very long. I'm just out of my comfort zone, that's it, and she's been really nice to me, yeah... that's all it is.

"Am I..." She says quietly,

"Yes, you're a good kisser" I turn and smile at her. "You just need to practice and you'll become a great one"

"You can tell me if I'm bad, I can handle it" I roll my eyes and look to the ceiling,

"Jesus Red, in the short time you've known me have I ever been anything less than truthful?"

"No"

"So I wouldn't be lying know then will I?"

"I guess not"

"You need to get outta your head, seriously"

"Sorry"

"And stop apologising... seriously, you need to be confident"

"Why should I change?" She asks,

"What do you mean?"

"You're trying to get me to change who I am, just to get some experience, I don't get it" She frowns, "Why can't I just be myself?"

"I'm not telling you to change, I'm just trying to get some confidence in you... really you're p- fine as you are... but if you want to get Effy, you need more confidence"

"Ok" She nods.

While she's not looking I pick out some sexy underwear, putting them on, I pull my dress on and examine myself in the mirror. Wow, I look hot. Not to be conceited, but I do.

I grab the key to her safe, typing in the code I pull out a cigarette and lean out of the window, lighting it up.

***

She's still dressed in her robe as she applies the finishing touches to her make-up. She may be shy, she may be insecure and she may lack confidence, but she sure scrubs up well, exceptionally well. She stands up and looks at me, squealing slightly, "I'm ready" She says. I've been ready for the past twenty minutes just sat on the bed doing a little homework. What the hell has happened to me, seriously?

"You haven't got you're dress on"

"I have" I frown, she unfastens the tie around her robe, slipping it off over her shoulders, and as the robe hits the floor my mouth follows after. The girl standing in front of me is simply breathtakingly beautiful.

From her hair, which is perfectly curly, to her make-up, subtle yet outstanding, and then to her dress... the dress. Oh my. She's wearing a purple strapless Basque type dress. She has her hands on her hip, pulling slightly, the dress accentuating every single curve, every single dip, and making my mouth dry just at the very sight of her. "Wow" She grins, and then blushes. "You look amazing, Red"

"Really" It takes just one look from me to her, a disapproved look and she soon changes, "I know, right" I laugh,

"See, that's better"

"You look great too"

"That's all down to you" I get up and walk to her, giving her a hug.

I don't hug people... this is so weird.

I know I linger a little too long, but she doesn't seem to mind. I reluctantly pull away though. I glance at the clock, 6:45pm. "we better make our way down to the hall" I say, and she nods, getting excited.

We start walking down the stairs. "Can I just say thanks... for everything." I nudge her,

"Same to you"

"I haven't done anything" She laughs,

"Accepted me..." I say, "I mean after all the stories you'd have heard, I bet you hated the thought of us being roommates"

"Yeah, but they are just stories... I make my own mind up, like you said" She smiles.

"Good" I sigh, "I bet I'm disappointing?"

"No way" She says quickly, "I mean I expected you to be more... bitchy"

"I'm out of my comfort zone here... My head is all over the place."

"Don't worry" Now she nudges me.

We make it to the hall, it's already packed. The whole school, and some extras, god knows where from, but anyway. There is pretty decent music being played by the PE teacher. Soft drinks, naturally. I walk in and look around. Emily does the same, "Come on, lets go get a drink" I say to her, tapping her arm lightly. She follows. I grab her a cup of punch, passing it to her while I get a glass of coke. "Wanna dance?" Red asks,

"I don't dance when I'm sober" I state, and she laughs,

"Why not?"

"I just don't" I shrug. I'm scanning the room, and I see a pretty little blonde twiddling her thumbs sat on the other side of the room. "I'll be right back" Emily frowns, but nods anyway.

I walk over to her seductively, and she is so watching me. Watching every move I make... Yup, gay. I walk straight past her, grabbing a hand full of crisps, I walk back to Red, grinning. "I've found your girl" I nod over to the blonde and her eyes widen,

"Her?" I nod,

"She's even more shy than I am"

"Then it'll be easy!" I grab her hips, pushing her towards the blonde, "It'll be fine, go talk" I push her, she looks back at me with panic written on her face. I watch with a smile on my face as she sits down next to the blonde. The blonde smiles politely, and they start talking. Mission accomplished. Red points to the blonde's empty glass, obviously offering to get her another. She comes practically running over to me,

"What do I do, what do I say..." She's panicked,

"Look, just be yourself, talk about school favourite lessons, then as the evening progresses, you ask her for a dance, if she says yes, and she's touchy with you then she's interested, if she says no, then she's not and we move on... it's simple Red, just relax"

"Ok, ok..."

"Now go take her a drink and just remember... confidence is the key"

"Confidence" She takes a deep breath, walking off. I giggle as she sits down, its obvious she's nervous, I bet even the blonde can tell, but it hasn't stopped her from engaging in it all.

"You're cupid... that's cute" I hear a familiar voice next to me, I turn and see Effy stood there,

"Yeah, bless her. She's new to all this" I smile, "Just helping her out"

"No better role model" She smiles seductively at me, "Alcohol?"

"Oh yes" She nods to the door, I follow her. Ignoring the glances of the other students. She takes me into a secluded room where she grabs her bag that sits on her shoulder, she pulls out a flask,

"Here" She hands it to me, "Careful, it's poison" I take a sip, and she wasn't kidding,

"What is that?" I ask, almost coughing it back up,

"A bit of everything. I call it my poison, does the trick every single time, even after a few sips"

"You're not kidding" I laugh, "So Effy..." She looks at me while taking a sip, "Are you gay?" pulling the flask from her lips she laughs briefly,

"I dabble" She raises her eyebrow, I grab the flask off her taking another sip, "So you have a soft spot for Emily?" I almost spit the poison out as she says this, wiping the residue off my chin I laugh,

"What? Red? No way, she's not my type"

"Who is your type?" She shuffles a little closer to me on this couch that we have commandeered,

"Personality wise... I like strong, independent women with a great sense of humour and intelligence."

"Ok..." She takes another sip, "What about appearance?"

"Why do you ask?" I quirk my lip at her, and she laughs slightly,

"Curious"

"Ok, I will only answer that question if you ask me what you really want to ask me"

"Wanna come up to my room?" Without hesitation... that is such a turn on. I can't help the devilish smile that appears as she asks me this,

"Sure. Just let me go tell Red I'll be right back" I say, and she nods,

"I'll be right here, don't be long"

I run off to Red, and see that she's in deep conversation with the blonde, "Can I borrow you for a sec?" She nods, standing up, I pull her away, "I'm gonna go for a little while, I won't be long"

"Where are you going?"

"Uh..." I scratch my head,

"You're joking, who?" She laughs,

"Never you mind"

"You can't just leave me like this..."

"You're doing fine"

"Really?"

"She is staring at nothing but your arse right now, so I'd say yes, you're doing more than fine" I nudge her, "See you later" I run off again, hoping she hasn't left. Sure enough she's still there with her flask in hand.

"I hoped you'd be quick" She smiles,

"Lead the way"

*****

Our lips crash together as soon as the door closes behind us. Her arms clasp around my neck as I force my tongue into her mouth. She groans deeply. I spin her round, pinning her to the door. My hands reaching down, cupping her bum where I pick her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. She takes her top off as her I start to kiss her again, forcefully, passionately. God it's been so long since I've done this... She pushes off the door when I least expect it, resulting in my back hitting the floor with some force. She laughs loudly, as do I, before she starts attacking my lips again.

She's straddling me as her fingers rub against the top of my dress, rubbing gently across my skin. I push myself up, with her still straddling me. The suddenly, I get an attack of morality... I can't do this, I can't do this to Red... "I can't do this" I say, pushing her off me,

"We're not doing anything yet" She says, smiling, leaning down again, but I turn my head, her lips connecting with my cheek, "Is it Emily?"

"What?"

"I'd totally understand if it's cause you've got a thing for Emily"

"I haven't"

"Well what's the problem then?" I can't tell her that Emily's got a thing for her... Emily would kill me, "It is her isn't it?" I don't like the way she's smiling at me right now... "Just tell me and we'll stop"

"It's not Emily" I say quietly, her body still straddling mine... the heat getting unbearable between my legs, her eyes narrow and her eyebrow quirks, with a smirk on her lips that I don't like I'm a little nervous now,

"Prove it then" Oh, now that was a challenge. I never resist a challenge...

************


	6. Chapter 6

Two in one day, aren't I generous?! Lol.

Hope this doesn't aggravate you too much! hehe

* * *

Chapter Six

I know I shouldn't, I shouldn't let her hands roam over my body, I shouldn't let my lips taste hers. I shouldn't let my tongue slip into her mouth, let my fingers scratch down her back.

I can't help myself.

Red is now a distant memory, a distant guilt trip as my teeth bite down into her neck, causing her body to arch, causing her to grind down against my body. Oh and boy does it feel good.

She copies, biting down into my shoulder so fucking hard that I feel a flush of liquid rush down to my centre.

Our bodies are lost in a blur of arms flailing, tongues clashing, bumping, grinding, moans and groans. She stands up, pulling me to my feet. She reaches behind, unzipping my dress. I get a flash of Red cross my eyes, I stutter, but as her lips caress mine that flash is gone. I feel the dress slip to my feet as she starts to push me back.

Another flash of Red...

My back is pushed onto the bed, she straddles me again, her fingertips brush against my stomach, making me breathe in deeply. She's smiling as she kisses me again. Her fingers now lowering to the top of my underwear. She twangs the fabric against my skin, making me jump, and then laugh slightly.

I flip over, so that I am now on top, with a devilish smile on my face, my tongue peaks out, licking my upper lip slightly. She smiles widely as I slowly slip off the bed onto my knees. Her legs parted I peel off her tights, throwing them to one side. She's watching every single move I make, making sure to keep eye contact.

My hands run over her silky thighs, up to her underwear. My fingers run underneath, I start to pull down but three loud knocks on the door startle the both of us. We sit up so quick that we almost head butt each other.

"Open this door right now" Oh great, its Anal.

"Shit" Effy mutters as she pulls her clothes on. "Just a minute" She glances at me as I'm zipping up my dress. I nod, telling her I'm ready

"No, now" She's in full bitch mode right now. That much is obvious. Effy opens the door and smiles, "Miss Sutherland"

"Effy" She nods, walking into the room, examining the both of us, "Would you mind telling me why you aren't at the ball?" She doesn't look at me, she's waiting for Effy to answer,

"Naomi got a little upset, homesick" She whispers the last part, "So I brought her up here to calm her down"

"Why are you so flushed?"

"You startled us, Miss" Effy smiles brightly, even convincing me slightly, Anal looks Effy up and down and frowns, she looks to me and looks me up and down,

"You don't look upset"

"Effy is good at consoling, sir"

"I told you to stop calling me that"

"Sorry, Sir" I hang my head down and hide the smile,

"Get yourselves back to the ball now otherwise you'll both be in detention for the next week" She starts to walk off, "Oh, and Miss Stonem, you top is on back to front" She walks to the door, "I may not have caught you this time, but I will the next" She slams the door behind her and Effy and I break out into fits of quietened giggles.

"Fuck sake" I say, taking a breath, "We better get going back"

"But we were just getting to the good part" Effy says seductively,

"Maybe next time" I smirk and walk out the door. I go back to my room before going back to the hall. As soon as I step inside I let the breath out that I'd been holding since we got caught.

Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but this place is growing on me.

I walk to the mirror, straightening myself up a little. I apply a little more make-up, sort my smudged eyes out and as I'm about to walk off I notice an oval shaped small wound on my shoulder, "Bitch" I mutter, laughing as I get a closer look. "She actually made me bleed!" I say, amazed. I rub the small droplets of dry blood off, dab a little make-up on it, wincing at the stinging. One more look and I'm going to check how Red's doing.

***

I'm getting some looks as I walk into the main hall. I look around but I can't see Red anywhere. She's not at the seats where I left, although that was a while ago. I walk to the drinks and grab a coke. "You looking for Emily" Some randomer asks, and I nod,

"Yeah"

"She disappeared with Amy about fifteen minutes ago" I smirk,

"Did you see where they went" She points outside, and I nod, walking off. It's not stalking, I'm just curious to see where she is.

The pathway to the huge posh pond that lies at the back of the plantation is lit up with lights. A bench sits a little off to the left next to some trees, and it's there I see Red and... Amy, was that her name?

They're not kissing... well from as far as I can see anyway. Damn it Red, make a move... Oh, hold that thought. I lean forward, squinting slightly, trying to see better. But I can barely see anything. I creep off onto the glass, the gravel beneath me crunching under my feet. I tiptoe across the grass, out of sight. I get closer, and I smile.

They're kissing.

Mission accomplished.

The smile soon fades though... As I watch Red's hand gently cup the blondes face, I can't ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach. A feeling I've not felt before, it's bitter, it's uncomfortable, and I don't like it one bit.

I soon feel sick as I realise that this foreign feeling is jealousy. I can almost taste the bile rising up to my throat as I make my way back to the door. I stop though, creeping round the side of the building I light up a cigarette.

As the fumes take over my body that feeling soon disappears. In its place; confusion. There's a slight chill in the air which makes my hand reach up, wrapping around my body,

"Smoking is not allowed on the premises" A deep voice startles me,

"Jesus" I shout, grabbing my chest, "Kieran" I chastise him, he giggles,

"Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump"

"Are you really gonna make me put it out, because I'm not in a good mood, I need it"

"No, so long as you give me one" He smiles, as do I. I hand him one and he instantly relaxes once its lit, "Fuck... six months... six months since I had one of these"

"Feels good don't it?" I grin,

"You're supposed to take it off me and throw it on the floor" He grins, "Six months is good"

"You really think I'm gonna take a fag off a nicotine depraved, tall, big guy who is actually quite scary?" I chuckle,

"No" he takes another drag, "How you getting on?" I shrug, "It gets better... I see you made friends with Emily... she's a good girl"

"Yeah" I say absentmindedly,

"Do you some good... I've heard all about you, all of the staff have, in fact we had a meeting about you, ah shit, we're not supposed to tell you that" I laugh,

"You had a meeting... about me?" I laugh, "Christ"

"I know..." He takes another drag, "I, myself, don't think you're all bad" he nudges me, "Anyway, put that cigarette out" He says in an serious voice, "Once you've finished it that is" He adds as an afterthought, "See you in class" I wave before scrubbing my fag out on the wall.

"Shit" I'm stood in full view of them and they are walking back inside... hand in hand I might add. If I move now they'll definitely see me.

I wait until they are talking, looking at each other before I crouch down, hiding behind a bush. What the fuck am I doing? I don't care if they see me... why should I care, I'm just out here having a fag, It's not like I've been watching them (for very long). "Naomi" Oh shit. I stand up quickly,

"Found it" I say, holding my lighter in my hand, which never actually left my hand to begin with, Red frowns at me before nodding,

"Ok..." She has a smirk on her face, and I nod, adding one to mine. "This is Amy" Blondie waves bashfully before tugging on Red's arm, "I'll be one second, meet you inside" Blonde nods before walking off. We wait until she's out of earshot before Red starts to squeal,

"I told you you could do!" I say, Emily bounces, practically jumping on me.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you" She says as she's hugging me,

"No need... she's waiting, get back to her" She jumps a couple more times before she's off. And I grab another cigarette, lighting it up. "Fuck sake"

************

I wait an hour before I go back up to my room. I walk in, kicking my shoes off, unzipping my dress. I don't bother turning the light on.

I crawl in bed and get myself comfortable. My eyes feeling heavy, my thoughts slowly silencing, that is until Red comes bouncing in, turning the light on, "Christ... sleeping here!" I say, covering my eyes,

"Oh, sorry" I pull the covers over my head as she obviously gets ready for bed. I'm starting to doze off again when the covers are being carefully pulled down and I see Red starting down at me,

"What?"

"Can we talk?"

"Can't we do it tomorrow?" I ask, reclaiming my duvet. But she pulls it down again.

"Won't take long" I sigh, sitting up,

"Fine, talk away"

"Aren't you gonna ask?" She frowns sitting next to me on the bed,

"I saw... I was having a fag" My eyes are still a little hazy from being almost asleep.

"It was great... you were right, once I stopped worrying it just... came natural"

"I know..." I'm really in no mood to talk, hasn't she realised this yet?

"Oh my god, what happened there?" She points to my shoulder, and I panic.

I regain composure quickly and look at her incredulously, "Throws of passion"

"She bit you?" I nod. "Ouch"

"You've got a lot to learn" I giggle,

"I know, that's what I want you to teach me"

"Teach you what?" I scratch my head, she doesn't answer so I look at her, and she looks embarrassed again, "Jesus, Red, if you can't even say it there is no way I'm gonna be able to teach you" I say, getting irritated, "If I'd be able to teach you anyway"

"What do you mean?"

"There are some things you need to learn on your own"

"I don't think I can"

"What have I told you about confidence?"

"Sorry" I growl, and she jumps, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I sigh,

"There is"

"Just drop it ok?"

"I'm sorry, I won't bother you with this anymore" She says quietly, standing up and walking away, but I grab her wrist before she can get to her bed, pulling her back onto my bed,

"I'm sorry... go on" I sigh, feeling guilty... I hate what this girl is doing to me...

"I need your help... to teach me to... have sex" She whispers the last part,

"Louder"

"I want to have sex"

"With?"

"Girls"

"Louder" She sighs,

"I want to have sex with girls"

"Louder" I say again, she's still barely above a whisper,

"Fuck sake"

"Louder"

"I wanna know how to fuck a girl!" She shouts. And I turn and smile at her. Tapping her on the shoulder,

"Good girl... now fuck off and let me get some sleep" I climb back under the covers as she stands up, she waits a few seconds, and I know she's still stood there,

"Is that a –"

"Yes, it's a yes..." I shout, looking at her she smiles widely.

******************


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you so so much for the comments!!! Here's the next instalment, as always I hope I don't disappoint!

*******************

Chapter Seven

"I don't think we've thought this through" I sigh as Red is pestering me to teach her,

"How do you mean?"

"It's not something I can tell you about... it's something you should experience on your own..."

"If you don't want to..."

"It's not that I don't want to. Look, my first time was with a woman I picked up in a bar, she showed me everything, _showed_, she didn't tell me, she guided me."

"Can't you do that with me?"

"Not without fucking you" I raise my eyebrow and she blushes. "I can tell you exactly what to do... I can tell you what would get a girl off, theoretically, but while I'm telling you, you won't know what it's like to taste that person's skin, to feel how soft it is beneath your fingertips. To have her moan in your mouth, her warm breath against your skin... you won't know any of that... and that's just the beginning"

"So... what you're saying is, we should have sex?"

"No" I say quickly, "That's not a good idea"

"Ok"

"And anyway you shouldn't really be thinking while you're having sex. You shouldn't think about your next move, where to kiss her or anything like that, it should come-"

"Natural I know..." She sighs, frustrated,

"We can talk about it all you want... for as long as you want, but it still won't make your first time any easier. I don't know why you're trying to rush it" I sit up out of bed, having had her wake me, excited at the prospect of spending this Sunday in the room. Excited at me teaching her the basics to sex. Excited full stop.

"I just want it over and done with... the longer I leave it, the harder it will become"

"You're what? Sixteen, seventeen?"

"Seventeen in a few weeks"

"You're still young, it's not like you're a forty year old and you still haven't lost it"

"You were fifteen"

"That's me... I've already said a thousand times, everybody is different, you're not me, so don't compare your life and your choices to mine, because they are _my_ choices, trust me if I could have them back I would do it differently"

"How so?" She shuffles in her bed, looking at me, I shake my head,

"Just, different"

"Could you be any more vague?"

"Yes" I smile. "Put it this way... I would rather have lost my virginity to somebody I knew, somebody I cared for than a random in a club. I like how it happened, I just wish the circumstances were different."

"But you don't do relationships" She frowns, and I can't help but laugh slightly,

"You don't have to be in a relationship with somebody to fuck them. It can be premeditated, it can be spontaneous, but the whole idea of sex is the passion. It's a thrill going home with a stranger because you don't know what it's going to be like. If it's great, you're walking round with a smile on your face for a few days, if its shit, well you're laughing with your friends for a few days"

"See that's what I don't like..."

"Red..." I sigh, running through my mind how to put this, "My advice to you would be to lose it with somebody you trust, somebody you actually have some form of feelings for... a random, well... it won't work" She frowns, "You are not me. As much as I loved my first time, if I were you, I wouldn't love it"

"I don't-"

"Look..." I pinch the bridge of my nose, getting slightly annoyed, "It worked for me, and what works for me might not work for you, ok?"

"Ok" She nods her head very slowly, looking at me slightly she starts to speak, "So what you're saying is I need to build some kind of relationship with the person I want to lose it with?"

"Pretty much" I sigh, fuck I need a cigarette, I walk to her wardrobe grabbing a cigarette I walk to the window, opening it and leaning out, "The more you obsess, the least likely you are to lose it"

"Would..." She starts, and I look to her quickly, she struggles with her words but I don't say anything, I wait for her to start, "I mean... I trust you..." I nearly dropped my fag out of the window then as she proposed what she thought,

"You want me?" I point to myself, astounded at her even considering this, astounded yet surprisingly happy at this. She nods her head slowly. "Why me?"

"I trust you"

"You've only known me a week"

"I'm a good judge of character"

"Red, you don't want to lose it to me, trust me"

"Why not?"

"Just leave it at that"

*************

She hasn't dropped it... she hasn't asked, but I can still tell that she's offended by what I said. It amazes me.

The whole pressure that sex puts on a person. They have to be good, they have to have already had plenty of experience, yet not enough experience so that you're considered a slut.

I do not understand it. Yes, I lost mine early, yes I had a good experience, but most people don't have a good experience. It's not like I went out that night hell bent on making sure that I had sex that night, it's not as if I went looking for a woman to satisfy my needs, and also show me how to satisfy others.

I consider myself lucky to have had a first time experience like that. Other's are dreadful, I've heard plenty of stories that makes my blood boil, and I do not wish to change places with that person.

Yet if I were to look deep down, deep, deep, deep down, I regret what happened with the older woman, in some ways at least.

I may be a bad ass, I may not abide by certain rules, I may not get on with most people, but that doesn't mean that I don't have a heart, it doesn't mean that I don't want to love somebody unconditionally, it doesn't mean that my life fulfilment is to see how many people I can sleep with before I die.

That's the thing people struggle with.

Having been pronounced this rebel my entire life, they expect me to act that way. Sure, I don't follow rules, I don't do this, I don't do that... but does that really mean I am a completely different person to everybody else?

No, it does not.

I, myself, don't consider myself a rebel, I consider myself difficult.

Being difficult, does that make me promiscuous?

No, it does not, it's society's way of showing me that anything that doesn't give other people the ability to understand is wrong. When in fact it is not like that at all.

I want somebody to love me, I want somebody to hate me... I want most things that other, normal people want, just because I've adopted the term 'rebel' over the previous years doesn't mean that I deserve to be treated like an outsider. Like an outcast.

Sorry, getting a little het up there.

I get called to the reception which annoys me. I was just starting to enjoy my lazy Sunday!

"Miss Naomi Cambell" The elderly woman asks and I nod, "You have a package from your mother"

"My mum?" She nods, "But it's Sunday"

"We've had it since yesterday but the amount we've had delivered has caused this delay" the elderly woman declares and I nod, "Well here you are, if you'd just sign here to say that you've received it"

"Ok" I nod, signing my name in the box provided, "Am I done?" She nods and I take my package, muttering a thanks as I walk back up to my room.

The writing is not my mother's so it is slightly confusing, but needless to say I wait until I get into my room before I open it, "Oh, what's that?" Emily asks, as curious as I am,

"I don't know yet until I open it, the receptionist said it was from my mum, but I don't believe that for one minute"

"Ok" She frowns sarcastically, I rip off the selotape, finally opening the box I grin. I pull out a folded piece of paper and laugh as I read what has been sent.

"I miss you Naomikins, here's to at least one fantastic night in that school, Cook" I read, my grin stretching from ear to ear.

"Who's Cook?" Red asks, and I smirk,

"My best friend" I open the packaging, pulling out two bottles of my favourite drink, apple sourz. "I fucking love him" I kiss the bottles, as Red frown,

"What is that?"

"Possibly the best drink in the world!" I shout, opening the bottle and sniffing it affectionately. "God I've missed you" I laugh, taking a swig, feeling the burning aftertaste sizzle in my mouth.

***

A bottle and a half later and I'm hammered, as is Red. It's only about 7pm, we've had our tea, we've also drank all of this alcohol in about twenty minutes. So naturally the drink has gone straight to our heads. Our giggles, our laughs, our jokes are suddenly replaced by serious talk.

Everybody has had this experience, you get so drunk that the random conversations subside and the serious conversations that we've been suppressing suddenly come to the surface! No matter how hard you try the truth always comes out, as the old cliché goes, 'a drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts'

"I'm just fed up of being a virgin" Emily states, swaying slightly. I've had a bottle of apple sourz, she's had half... so I don't feel too bad as she is also a virgin to alcohol.

She has a lot to learn.

"Why?"

"It seems as though I'm the only one"

"Don't be stupid"

"I just want to get it out of the way" She's says as she walks over to my bed, sitting beside me. I know where this is gonna lead... I may be drunk, but I'm not stupid,

"You don't care who?"

"Not really"

"Red" I sigh,

"My name is Emily" She says, and I giggle,

"I like Red"

I don't know if it's the alcohol, I don't know if it's how my feelings have been lately, but I find myself looking at her lips very regularly, I can't help myself.

"I don't" She says, taking a swig out of her bottle,

"What you gonna do about it?" She looks at me and smirks,

"Nothing" I laugh loudly as I sip my drink.

The room falls into silence, a comfortable silence.

"Who's cook?" She asks,

"One of my good friends back in Bristol"

"Girl?" I can't help but notice the disdain in her voice as she says that, I chuckle and she looks at me,

"Boy" I see a relieved smile on her face, and I can't help but feel a little joy over that smile. "Emily?"

She looks at me, shocked that I used her actual name rather than my name for her.

I can't stop myself, I can't stop myself from leaning in, looking at her luscious lips. I can't stop myself from wanting to taste them, but from the look of things, she can't stop herself either.

Our heads slowly fall to one another's, my tongue moistens my lips, my heart racing as I lean in.

"You're drunk" She says, laughing, causing me to pull away,

"I am, you're right. As are you"

"I know..." She says slowly.

She looks away, looking at everything and anything, so long as it isn't me. I ignore this, my hand lifting up and pulling her face towards mine. She smiles awkwardly, "Is this what you want?" She nods briefly, "are you sure?"

"Yes" She smiles.

******************


	8. Chapter 8

I fear I should warn you about this chapter... sexual scenes throughout, if you are under 18 and reading this, don't tell anyone.

Thanks for the comments, and I know I'm mean! But I just love the comments I get when I tease lol.

Hope you enjoy!

***********

Chapter Eight

I'm suddenly nervous, my body shaking slightly as I smile, nodding at her answer. She takes a shaky breath, her eyes still looking at anything but me. I remove my fingers from her chin, lifting them up, I push a strand of red hair behind her ears, my eyes studying her face, studying her sudden pale face, "It's ok" I smile, tilting my head slightly. She looks at me and nods.

I can tell she wants me to get this over and done with, but that isn't my style. Usually anyway.

I am well aware that I am in the driver's seat for this situation. Emily barely making a move. Her eyes flutter as my fingers fall from behind her ear to her neck. I cup it gently. Leaning in slowly, I watch her, intrigued.

She takes another shaky breath, but I fear I can't reassure her anymore. So I do the next best thing, I kiss her.

Her moist lips pressing against mine lightly. My hand still resting on her neck, her hands lay limply by her side.

I deepen the kiss. Her breath hitching as our tongues touch. She gains confidence, her hands lifting up to my shirt, her fingers diligently unbuttoning the blouse. The kiss gains such passion. Such desperation that I find myself moaning into the kiss.

I stop it, however, much to both our displeasures. My lips parted, my eyes wide. Our foreheads connected, my breath coming in spits and spurts, "Are you sure you wanna?" I ask, my hand still on her neck, hoping to god that she says yes. Hoping to god she doesn't stop it, because that, right there, just took a hell of a lot of strength to ask. I watch her as she takes her lip between her teeth, biting down gently, she nods. I stand up, her eyes following every move I make.

My fingers clasp at her top, pulling it off, tossing it to one side. Her big eyes now scared. I gently push on her shoulder, pushing her back onto the bed. She takes another shaky breath as I lower myself onto her. My arms either side of her shoulders, supporting myself. I lean down, kissing her again, kissing her deeply, passionately.

I slowly lower my body onto hers. I can feel her heart racing through my chest. I pull away from the kiss, moving to her cheek, then moving to her neck. Kissing up her neck, I can't help myself, I can't stop myself from biting down slightly. I shock her, but that shock turns into a muffled groan.

I'm careful not to leave a mark. My hands feeling her body. Her hands wrapping around my back as I kiss her again.

Her nerves are slowly dissipating, that is until I move down her body. My knees connecting with the floor. I unbutton her jeans, pulling them down.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, sure I offered her my services, I agreed to teach her how to have sex, but am I supposed to give her a play by play? Am I supposed to tell her where to touch, or is she learning simply from what I'm doing?

I have no idea, but I don't let it bother me too much. Her pale white skin glowing in the dimmed light. I discard her jeans, my fingernails scratching up her legs slightly. I kiss her knee, my lips slowly moving further. Her breathing is becoming erratic, I can hear and feel her breaths the further I move up.

I look at her, her eyes boring deep into mine, I ask permission one final time, without speaking a word. She nods again, her teeth now clamping down onto her lip.

I pull at her underwear, struggling to get them off a little, she lifts her bum off the bed, allowing me to take them off easily. I pull them off her feet.

She's nervous again. Her legs move closer together, my hands falling on her knees, I open her legs. She hesitantly obliges. My lips brushing down her thighs, until I finally reach where I'm needed.

With a slight flick of my tongue and a loud gasp from Red, it's started. God, she's so wet. My tongue runs up her wet folds, finding the swollen nub that I'm looking for. Emily start's writhing as I circle it, sucking slightly. Her breathing becomes more erratic. My hands reach up to her stomach, gently caressing it as I work away with my tongue.

I'm surprised as she grabs one of my hands, clutching at it. "Oh fuck" She says, biting it, suppressing it, but I still hear the muffling.

The more times I flick my tongue, the louder her muffles become. I've found it... another flick "Fuck", another, "Oh my-", another, "Fuc-" Her breathing is so fast, I know she is on the verge, I know after only a couple more flicks and it's over.

I won't tease her too much... I won't make her beg. It is her first time after all...

Her hand grabs mine tighter, just another flick and I've almost lost circulation in my hand, she takes a deep breath, another flick. Her body jerks, her back arches. She's silent, her body writhing, her legs shaking, her toes curling. I sit up, watching, observing her. She has a slight taint of red to her cheeks, her eyes are fused shut. As she finally starts breathing again she almost hiccups. Her eyes are still closed. I sit on the bed beside her. Her hand still clutching mine.

It takes a while for her to look at me. She's obviously embarrassed. The slight tinge of red now flourishing violently. She sits up onto her elbows, still not looking at me.

I, myself, don't even know what to say. "Wow" She says, her hand lifting up and covering her face. I giggle, as does she.

"Did it help?" I ask, feeling my cheeks burn, Christ she's even making me blush,

"Yeah... but" Her hands are still covering her face, I lift my hand up, pulling them away so I can look at her,

"But what?"

"I didn't... I mean... you..." She struggles, but I get the idea of what she's saying,

"You want to do it to me?" I ask, raising my eyebrow, now she looks at me.

"Would you..." She frowns, "Mind?" I can't help but laugh at that,

"No" I say quickly. "Just so you know... when you do it, properly..." I say quietly, "It won't be as... mechanical as this..."

"I know..." She sits up further. My heart now racing as she's looking at my lips, she's leaning in slowly, her eyes closing. I close mine, and if feels like I'm waiting forever until her lips finally find mine, and fuck... it feels like I've been hit by a bus. My heart almost bursts out of my chest as she kisses me.

My stomach is flipping over and over, so much so that I'm starting to feel light headed.

Why do I feel like this? Why am I suddenly never wanting this kiss to end. As her tongue enters my mouth, moulding with mine the feelings intensify. Why now? I've kissed her before...

Then is suddenly dawns on me, sure I've kissed her before... but this is _her_ kissing _me_. Voluntarily. I've always initiated it.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck....

I have to stop this...

My hands push at her shoulders, pushing her away. She looks confused, she looks pained. "What's wrong?" She asks, her deep brown eyes looking into my cowardly blues. "Naomi" She says, quietly, I try to catch my breath. But it's not working, "Am I doing something wrong?" I shake my head. "Do you want to stop?" She sounds so insecure, that I almost feel guilty, I shake my head again, and she leans in, kissing me once more. All those feelings flood back again. I can't stop them, I can't ignore them, but I don't want to stop kissing her.

What is happening to me...? I've never felt like this before.

She pushes my back onto the bed. Her body pressing down into mine. I can't breathe. I can' think.

It's as if the roles have been reversed. I've taught Emily, and now she's teaching me.

She stops kissing me, and I'm missing it already. She moves down to the bottom of the bed, removing my sweatpants, every ounce the stud now, all the nerves gone, channelled into me somehow. She leans down, kissing my stomach. I can't stop the sharp intake of breath that happens as her lips connect to my stomach.

I feel goosebumps erupt all over my body. My heart aching, I'm aching for her to touch me where I so desperately need to. I bite my lip. She's slowly moving down to my underwear.

Fuck...

She pulls them off, before she moves back up to the bed, kissing me deeply, urgently.

I feel her hand on my stomach. Gently moving down to my dripping centre. Fuck I need to feel her so bad.

I bite her lip, pulling it slightly. She groans into my mouth, and oh, fuck... this is too much. I get impatient, but I don't need to. I'm about to demand my needs to her, tell her what I want her to do, but she does it with without direction. Her fingers sliding inside me. "Fuck" I groan harshly as she's still kissing me.

She's a quick learner.

Her fingers start to pick up the pace. Her forehead pressed against mine, her eyes watching, watching my eyes blinking furiously, my lips parting, then being taking into my mouth by my teeth.

Fuck.

That is possibly the only coherent word running through my mind as she continues to pick up the pace. My body already on the edge from before. Now seriously on the very edge. "Faster" I say quietly, I don't want to bark orders at her, but then, she is learning, so I suppose she won't mind.

She follows like a good little student. Quickening the pace, "Curve.." I say, taking a breath in between, my eyes rolling into the back of my head, she frowns, "Curve your fingers" She continues to frown but does as she's told again. "Oh fucking hell" I say, my eyes almost popping out.

Her forehead leaves mine, her lips finding my neck she bites down hard, and that is almost the death of me, she curves her fingers once more and I am at her complete mercy. My body shakes, twitches. A loud guttural moan falls from my lips as she finishes me off.

My limbs twitch uncontrollably. My heart still pounding. She looks at me. A slight smile on her face. She's watching the come down. She's watching as my breath finally gets back to normality, she's watching the colour suddenly come out in my face. My body stops twitching, and I look into her eyes, smiling. "Fucking hell, Red" I say. She giggles, "Are you sure you haven't done that before?" She bites her lip, shaking her head,

"No, I haven't"

"Christ" I say, my hand ruffling through my hair. She lies down beside me, still watching me. I turn to her,

"Thanks" She says quietly,

"My pleasure" I say with a big grin, and she giggles again,

"No, really"

"I know" I say quietly. I lean across, tenderly kissing her cheek, "I know" I say again. I turn over onto my side, suddenly feeling real tired.

Fuck sake... I'm falling for my roommate.

**************


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the comments! The end of this chapter is a bit of a filler bit...

*************

Chapter Nine

I haven't been able to sleep since that thought ran across my mind.

I'm falling for Red.

I've never fallen for anybody in my life, and now, in a place where I have nobody to talk to about this, nobody to ask advice, no family, no friends... it happens.

She's sleeping comfortably beside me as I'm squashed against the wall. I have to get out of the room, if only for a little while. I carefully climb over her, jumping off the bed and landing on the floor with a thud. I cringe, turning quietly she stirs, but she turns over, taking up the bed. I sigh, my eyes not being able to leave her sleeping form, her content little smile.

I walk to the bathroom, washing my face with cold water, I look up into the mirror, a thousand thoughts running through my mind, but every single time they always go back to a certain red headed girl.

It crept up on me. These feelings, sure there were warning signs, but I put it down to a little crush. Kissing her the first time I should have known right there. The feeling in the pit of my stomach, it was close to that feeling you get when your card declines in a shop. Pure fear.

Yet as much as that feeling scared the living shit out of me, I can't deny that it was a nice feeling, I can't deny that it filled me with warmth, I can sit here and say it meant nothing, I can even put a smile on my face as I'm saying it, but that doesn't mean I am telling the truth now does it.

I suppose the test will come tomorrow. When she wakes up, I bet it will be weird. I bet awkward.

Oh who am I kidding, I don't know what's gonna happen.

I just need to have my head in the game. I know she's not going to turn around and declare her undying love for me, because nobody does that, right? It's just the movies filling our heads with shit, making us believe in the fantasy, a fantasy that never has and never will exist. Thus filling us with disappointment, bucket loads of the stuff.

I need to get back to the way I used to be. Not caring, not giving a shit, my sharp tongue being used for something other than making Red's toes curl.

I just can't explain it, I've only been here such a short time and it has changed me deep inside. It's changed me to the core. Sure that person is still there, deep down, but I'm not completely sure if that person is the real me, or if this new version is.

I guess time will tell.

"What are you doing?" I jump, grabbing my chest as Red is stood in the doorway,

"Shit" I say, and she chuckles, her hand lifting up and scratching her head. "I thought you were asleep"

"I was" She says with a smirk, "Everything ok?" I nod quickly,

"Yeah, yeah. Just can't sleep" I lie.

"Naomi" She says quietly,

"Red, everything is fine" I smile, "Just homesick I guess" Now I scratch my head, "Honestly"

"Are you coming back to the room?"

"Yeah, I'll just be a minute" She nods, walking away.

I walk back in the room and she's sat on her bed. I walk to mine, climbing in. I turn the light out beside me, getting comfortable. "Night" I say,

"I think we should talk" I hear her faint voice come from the darkness. My card has been declined again.

"About what?" Stupid fucking tool! I chastise myself as soon as that comes out of my mouth. I hear her sigh deeply,

"You know what" she startles me, rather than at the other end of the room she is currently stood right next to my bed. I turn the light on, sitting up in bed, I look at her, and I can see she's fretting,

"Yeah"

Silence. Neither of us wants to be the first to speak, but we have to at some point, I'm the one to break the silence. "Are you regretting it?" Probably not the best thing to say, but I need to know,

"A little" I can't help but show my reaction to that, and she's quick to sit down beside me on the bed, "No, no... not like that, it's just... We're friends and-"

"It's awkward" I nod, as does she, "Look, we'll call last night exactly what it is, ok?" now she frowns, "A friend helping out a friend" I smile, and she nods slowly, "It meant nothing to neither of us..." I pause, watching a reaction, and I don't get one, she's still nodding her head slowly, "So there's no need to dwell on it then is there" I'm hating every word that is coming out of my mouth.

It meant something to me, and I'm gonna be the one dwelling on it.

"Yeah" She nods, "I just don't want it to be awkward"

"It won't be" I smile reassuringly, "Trust me"

"Ok" she says quietly,

"Ok, lets get some sleep, it is...1am, and we've got classes tomorrow" She nods, getting off my bed and climbing in hers. I wait until she's in before turning the light off, "Night"

"Night" The room goes dark... and I know neither of us are gonna get any sleep.

************

I watch as my alarm clock is only minutes away from going off. The early morning light is seeping through the curtains as I cancel my alarm.

Emily has her back to me, but I know she's awake. I keep hearing her sighing. I get up, walking to her wardrobe I grab a cigarette. My morning ritual.

As I walk back to the window Emily sits up in bed. I look at her and smile, "Morning" She rubs her eyes, looking extremely tired,

"Morning"

I open the window, the morning chill causing me to shiver slightly. It's only half 6, we've got an hour and a half before we have breakfast. This is gonna be fun, "Did you sleep?" Emily asks, and I turn to look at her,

"No, you?"

"A little" I giggle, "I've been thinking..."

"That's never good, Red"

"Can we just forget it ever happened?"

"That doesn't work" I look to her honestly, "Listen to me, ok?" She nods, "It happened, it was nice, but it won't happen again ok? Nothing is gonna come of it, I was just helping you out, just look at it like that"

"Ok"

"Besides, our next task is Effy" I laugh, and Emily's eyes widen,

"Shit, yeah" She laughs,

"If you still wanna that is"

"I don't know... I mean, I quite like Amy" She says, shaking her head, "Effy is out of my league"

"Nah" I shake my head, having a drag on my cig, "Don't settle"

"I guess" She shrugs, "I'm young free and single..." She smiles, "I really oughta start acting like it, huh?"

"Yup, that's my philosophy" I nod,

"I'm gonna go get a shower"

"Ok"

***

"I know it's only been a week, but I am setting you your first test... We've been reading Shakespeare now, studying Twelfth Night, I want you all to write an essay on it" The class all sigh, slumping down into their chair. "Don't be like this, this is after all English Literature and essays are the general tasks in this class" Kieran says, "I want you to break down the story to its basics, telling me how, you feel, love is depicted in this play. For every point you make, you must have a valid quote to back up that point. It can be as 'out there' as you want it to be, remember there are no wrong answers, I am simply asking you what you interpret about the central characters, the circumstances and everything that happens, and how Shakespeare gets his vision of love across in the play."

You are fucking kidding me.

"You have to write a minimum of 2000 words, but there are no maximum amount of words."

"Is this an actual essay question, or are you doing this to be cruel?" I ask, and the class laughs, as does Kieran,

"This is an essay question, yes, but it's not set by the board, it is simply my curiosity getting the best of me" He giggles, "This essay will be used in your final coursework so do take it seriously. I will put it in laymen's terms so you all understand; I want you to write exactly what you thought of the play, going into details about What Shakespeare suggests about the nature of love and how he portrays such strong emotions in the characters... It's not hard, I am simply asking for your opinion, your interpretation." He starts to hand out a sheet to all of us, "I've written down some tips and at the top is your question. If you have any problems with this, I'm always here"

"Are we starting now?" I ask, he nods,

"Yes, you've got all week to write it, I want it handing in on Friday as I'll be marking them over the weekend. No excuses, nothing, Friday, 3pm, that is the deadline, anybody who hasn't finished, well you'll be jeopardising your final grade in this class"

"He's taking the piss" I say to Red, who simply laughs,

"He's a teacher, he's allowed to"

"I know, but this... writing an essay on love, Christ" I sigh,

"It's an easy question, Naomi"

"It fuck" she shakes her head, and starts writing away. I seriously hate how clever she is sometimes.

"Do you want me to help you with it?"

"Nah, I'll do it, may be shit, but I'll do it"

"Ok then" She raises her eyebrow.

The thing that is pissing me off about this fucking question... I'm trying to forget my sudden feelings, I'm trying to get back to normality, and this question, this essay, I've gotta think about it until I've fucking finished it, and in thinking about the essay, I'll be thinking about Red.

The receptionist knocks on the door, walking to Kieran whispering something. Kieran looks at me, oh shit, what now? "Naomi, can you go to reception please?" I stand up,

"Do I need my things?" He nods. Gathering my books and my bag I follow the stumpy lady back to reception. She doesn't speak, she doesn't answer any of my questions, "What's going on?" I ask again as she steps behind her desk,

"You have a visitor" She says sternly,

"But I thought we don't get them until the weekend"

"Your cousin is here, outside. He needs to speak to you urgently"

"Cousin?" I ask, and she just frowns. I don't have any cousins. She points to the front entrance, "Please do not leave the grounds" I nod, walking outside, completely curious. I step outside and follow the smell of a cigarette and much to my amusement I laugh at the person standing in front of me.

"Naomikins" He grins,

"Cook, what the fuck?" He's dressed like a posh little school boy, which makes me laugh loudly,

"Operation free Naomi has arrived" He smiles proudly before enveloping me in a hug,

"What?" I hold on to him tightly, god I've missed him. I feel like my needs have been answered. I needed a friend, and suddenly Cook turns up. Thank you god!

"I'm breaking you out, come on"

"I can't" I say, and he laughs,

"Course you can, it's not a prison"

"No, Cook. I really can't go"

"Why?"

"It's complicated"

"Fuck sake Naomi, I've just come up all this way to get you back to Bristol, and you won't even come"

"I didn't ask you to" I argue,

"Thanks Cook" He says, and I slap him,

"Look, I'm grateful, but you should have called first"

"I had a fucking brill story and all" He seems defeated,

"Sorry"

"Better be a good reason why you're staying!" He takes another drag on his cigarette and I look to the floor...

*****************


	10. Chapter 10

And the plot thickens... hehe

Thanks for the reviews, finally getting a backbone to this story, I just hope it works.

**********

Chapter Ten

Cook has been here five minutes and I've nearly pissed myself three times already. I have missed him so much, he has this gift of making me forget everything that's going on. We haven't gone off the premises, but we can't be seen either.

As he passes me a joint I can't help but smile widely, "Fucking hell, you can come more often"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd leave... not the same back home without Naomikins"

"I know, I just... can't leave"

"You still haven't explained why" He sparks up, passing the lighter to me. I put the joint in my mouth, but don't light it just yet,

"As I said, it's complicated"

"I'm sure I can keep up" I light the lighter, but my sigh blows the flame out, I roll my eyes,

"A girl" He smiles widely,

"I am impressed, one week and you've already fucked someone" He raises his hand for a high five but my dirty look soon lowers his hand, "Oh that kinda girl" He smiles even wider, "You need to come back home" Nudging my arm, I finally light the joint, and by fuck I have needed this.

"I like her, Cook" I say quietly, and he finally shuts his mouth for once, "Like, really like her"

"What she like?"

"Well, she's called Emily, but I call her Red cause of her hair"

"Eugh, she's ginger?" I slap him instantly,

"She is not ginger!" I shout at him, "It's not a natural red..."

"Oh" He says, squinting as he gets a bit of smoke in his eye, I laugh, the joint hanging out of his crooked mouth while one of his eye is closed, he looks like popeye.

"Anyway... she's not like anybody I've met. She's my roommate" Now he grins, and I resist the urge to slap him again, "It's not like that... she's shy, and has a huge crush on the head girl, so I said I'd help her out, the head girl, by fuck she is the most fuckable thing I've ever come across, anyway... she wasn't entirely sure that she was gay, so I helped her out, gave her her first kiss, set her up with another girl, all that shit" He nods. "Anyway, thanks for the package by the way" He pats his chest,

"No probs darl"

"We got drunk, and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex... her first time..."

"Ah shit"

"What?"

"You slept with her... and she scared the shit outta you..."

"No" I snap, and he tilts his head,

"So you ran away, convinced yourself, and her, that it didn't mean anything, blah, blah, blah"

"It's frightening how much you know me" I glare

"No... it's not frightening how much I know you, its fucking annoying" He throws me a dark glare and I chuckle,

"You love me really"

"Good fucking job aint it" He's barely got any drags left on his joint, but he's still trying, burning his finger in the process, "Bastard" He curses, shaking it, and I find it highly amusing. "Is it Jen?" Until he says that name, my heart almost drops out of my arse when he says that,

"Fuck off"

"You need to talk about it"

"I fuck" I stand up, walking from the shelter of the trees and back towards the building, I take another drag on the joint, throwing it away after. I start storming off but he stops me as we finally get to the front door, grabbing my elbow he spins me round,

"Just fucking calm down will you"

"No, I won't. I told you to never mention her name again" I practically scream at him,

"I can't just forget about it... neither can you, you're a fucking mess, you need to sort yourself out"

"I'm the mess" I laugh in his face, "That's fucking rich" I storm off into the building, pushing my way through the crowds of people as they all change lessons. I take one final look behind me and I see Cook trying to follow, but he doesn't get far.

I get up to my room, closing the door behind me I walk over to my bed. I can't believe he brought her up... fucking cunt. I feel the tears start to stream down my face. I was only just starting to forget about her, and he had to go and fucking bring her up, I'm gonna kill him... The tears soon turn to anger as I launch my pillow across the room.

The door opens, but I turn around, ignoring who's just walked in. "Naomi" It's Red, fantastic, just what I need,

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now" I say, but she doesn't take the hint,

"Hey..." She sits down beside me, putting her arm around me,

"Don't fucking touch me"

"She is just trying to help" I hear Cook walk in,

"I don't fucking need it" I could scream right now. "Just leave me alone"

"No" He says, standing his ground, "You can hate me as much as you want, but I aint leaving"

"I'm gonna go" Emily stands up, walking to the door,

"Thanks Ems" He smiles at her... how the fuck have they even met? Emily closes the door behind her and I look to Cook who still has a smug smile on his face,

"How do you even know her?"

"Only redhead in this school... I asked her to help me find you...She's nice"

"Cook, please"

He sits down beside me, "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories, but even you can't deny that things have changed, a hell of a lot, since Jen"

"I know"

"I'm just trying to help"

"I know" I nod, hugging my knees,

"Your my best bud Naomikins"

"I know"

"I don't want you making the same mistake again" I sigh, this statement is the one that hits home,

"I know"

************

"It was fucking brill Naomi!" Cook says, laughing his head off, "JJ just stood up and punched the fucker right square on the nose, I was crying with laughter" My mouth falls open as I laugh,

"JJ? Fuck off" I say, and he shakes his head,

"Honest to god!"

"My god..." I say, laughing, picturing nerdy little JJ punching a meathead in the face, "I'm missing it all!" I say, and he laughs,

"We're all missing you, can't wait for half term when you're back, you're gonna get fucked up"

"Oh yes"

"I got a new supplier, and the drugs are out of this world!" My eyes widen,

"I need to get fucked up" He laughs,

"In more ways than one" I reach out and kick him this time. The door is practically flown off its hinges as Anal comes rushing in,

"You could knock"

"What is this boy doing in your room?"

"Nothing..." I shrug, "Sir, you should know that he has one piece of anatomy that just doesn't do it for me" Cook laughs, which doesn't help the situation,

"I will not tolerate fraternizing"

"We're not doing anything" I protest my innocence

"Having non-students in your dormitories is strictly against the rules" She puts her hands on her hips,

"I haven't read the rule book, sorry" Her face almost explodes, turning into a violent shade of red,

"Miss Cambell I instruct you to escort your visitor out, immediately"

"Haha, she's funny" Cook says, pointing to Anal, and I just piss myself, right there.

"What is your name?"

"Oh, she's starting on me now, I like her even more" He stands up, squaring up to her, "Cook, I'm Naomi's cousin"

"Funny that, I have just this second got off the phone with her mother, who is an only child"

"What a crock of shit, you've been stood here for at least a minute" Her eye twitches as Cook laughs in her face,

"I will call security" Cook holds his hands up and 'whoa's, which she doesn't take to kindly, "Don't push me young man"

"We aren't doing anything wrong, Sir"

"My name is Miss Sutherland"

"What ever" I sigh, rolling my eyes, "We still aren't doing anything wrong"

"You have broken a rule Miss Cambell, and do I not take kindly to rule breakers"

"Why did you accept me in your school then?" Her other eyes twitches.

"You may say your goodbyes, and then meet me in my office please Miss Cambell"

"What makes you think I'll do that?"

"Well it is either that or you spend one week in a room, by yourself, no luxuries, nothing. The only break from that room being classes"

"Sounds fun"

"I'm sure it does. I expect you in my office in ten minutes" She walks off, her granny shoes slapping against the wooden floors.

"You better go" I say sadly to Cook,

"What?" He says, holding his hands out, "You're gonna let her dictate to you what to do?"

"If I want to stay... yes"

"Naomikins" He says, and I smile sadly,

"I'll be back in a month" I envelop him in a hug.

"But that's a month, cookie needs his Naoms" I smile,

"Big softy" I push him away, "Come on, I'll walk you out"

I say my further goodbyes to Cook, feeling sad that he's going, but a little glad that I'm staying.

I walk up the Anal's office, knocking on the door and entering when she says I can. "Take a seat please" I slump down in the chair, "Naomi Cambell is an excellent student. Always willing to participate in class activities..." I sit up, she's sure got my attention now, "She is a favourite among students. She has a good circle of friends and is always courteous and kind to fellow students" She raises her eyebrow at me, "Naomi has a bright future ahead of her, with her array of excellent grades and shining personality I foresee great things for her." She clears her throat, "She has been a pleasure to teach"

"Where did you get that?"

"When you're mother rang and enquired about a place here I did a little research"

"Why?"

"I needed to make a decision, and based on the little your mother had told me I knew that you would most certainly be a challenge"

"So I'm a little science project?"

"No"

"Well what then?"

"I faxed your old school... the one you were expelled from, and among all the bad reports this one came through, and it had me intrigued"

"Are you gonna give me a straight answer or am I supposed to get what you're fucking talking about?"

"You should know, Naomi" Her tough voice has a tinge of sensitivity in it now,

"You have no right"

"You are quite right, I don't... I don't know what has happened, why the person being described in this End of Year review is so different from the person sitting before me"

"Good because it's got fuck all to do with you"

"I understand that also" She clears her throat, "You mistake me, my actions... For I am only trying to help you"

"I didn't ask for your help"

"Oh, you did" She smiles, "Getting arrested, being expelled, drugs, alcohol... all of these are a cry for help"

"You don't know shit" She sighs, tolerating the way I'm speaking to her, which is annoying, "You don't know me"

"I am a teacher first and foremost Naomi, that doesn't just mean I help you pass exams, I am here to guide and support my students. That includes you. You are seventeen years old, a difficult time for anybody, but here, you don't need to make an enemy out of me. I will do anything in my power to make sure that you have the best start in life that you can possibly have, but I will need your help in that."

"Why do you care?"

"Regardless to what you think, I am not a cold hearted bitch, I can see something is bothering you, I can see that you have some..." She is choosing her words here carefully, this much is obvious, "Troubles... There was something in your mother's voice which I couldn't deny, I couldn't turn away... desperation. Then meeting you, I see it in you also"

"Whatever" I stand up and start to walk away,

"Unlike most people around you, I won't be giving up"

"Get used to disappointment then"

****************


	11. Chapter 11

I know, I know... I'm slacking. My bad.

The mystery won't be revealed just yet... Hope it doesn't disappoint though, as always.

Thanks for the comments :D

*************

Chapter Eleven

It's been one hell of a weird day.

From Cook showing up to Anal's sudden confession... I feel disorientated. Like I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Am I supposed to carry on as normal, knowing that she's testing me, or do I try to finally sort my problems out?

I'd rather do the first, but I'm in no mood for the witty remarks and sarcasm right now.

Cook's visit disturbed me the most, not him, but the memories he brought up.

I'd never really forget, but then I can always try can't I? But as I'm sitting in my final class, Red's sympathetic eyes flickering to mine every now and then, I can't stop thinking about it. About her.

It's almost as if I'm a completely different person than before, like the old me died, and in her place, me. A bitch, a whore, a troublemaker... The typical phrase would be that I'm a shadow of my former self, but I'm not. If you'd have seen me back then, two or three years ago you'd have to pick your mouth up off the floor.

As Miss Sutherland said, I was a model student, top marks in every subject, popular with my peers. Not only that but I actually got on with my mother. She didn't hate me as much then as she does now.

Ok, I know she doesn't hate me, but...

I can still remember the day I decided that I was no longer willing to let myself hurt anymore. I was no longer going to care about what I did, who I hurt... nothing. You could say that I've been possessed... you could say all sorts, but without really knowing the truth, well... You'd be wrong.

"Naomi" The teacher shouts at me, "Oh good, you're back with us now"

"Sorry" I shake my head, sitting up in my chair,

"Could you solve the equation on the board?"

"Yes" I say, the teacher waiting impatiently,

"Well?"

"Oh, you want me to?" I say, quirking my eyebrow, "Surely you should have asked if you wanted me to"

"Don't get smart with me" She starts, and I really hope she doesn't carry on,

"The answer is 43" I say, she looks at the board and then looks at her sheet,

"How did you get that without doing the necessary working out?"

"Looked at Red's sheet" Red chuckles beside me, and I smirk slightly,

"Think you're pretty funny don't you Miss Cambell" What is it with this school and calling us by our last names when they are pissed off? "Why don't you apply some of that biting wit to your school work and then maybe we wouldn't have a problem"

"I don't think you can apply wit in Maths, Miss"

"One more comment like that and you'll be send to the headmistress' office"

"Ok, carry on with the lesson then, you are preventing other more willing students from learning the necessities that they will need to pass their exams. Don't focus on me, if I fail, I fail, it'll only make you look bad"

"Right, out you go" She slams the chalk down onto the table, her arm lifting and pointing to the door. I grab my bags and walk out of the class slowly, closing the door behind me I breathe a large sigh.

My mind aimlessly running through those drudged up memories as I walk out of the building, ignoring the shouts from the receptionist. I light a cigarette as soon as I feel the wind chill my cheeks. The door closing slowly behind me.

My leg lifts up, resting against the wall, my back following suit.

I hear the door open and out walks Anal. "It's been a few hours and you've already been sent to my office Miss Cambell"

"Yeah, I was just making my way there" I say, taking a drag,

"I told you smoking is not allowed"

"And I told you I don't care" I take another drag, just to piss her off even more.

"We are both quite aware that you do Miss Cambell, so if you would kindly put that cigarette out you can make your way back to class... and see me at six this evening for detention."

"Seeing as you asked nicely..." I stub my cigarette out on the wall, "...And didn't snatch it out of my mouth" I throw it on the floor. "See you at 6"

"Oh, and Miss Cambell" I stop as I'm approaching the door, "Lay off my staff please" I don't answer.

*********

"What's going on?" It's the question that's been on her lips since this morning, and she choose ten minutes before we go down for dinner before she asks it.

"Nothing" I shrug,

"What was earlier about?"

"Cook being a nob"

"I'm not stupid"

"Don't act like it then"

"What is your problem?"

"You if you carry on" I hate myself. I really actually hate myself right now. It is not her fault, it is nobody's fault, but I can't stop... I've unleashed the bitch in me and it's just not going away,

"I know it is none of my business Naomi, but Christ, I'm sorry for caring"

"You're right... it is none of your business, and you shouldn't care"

"Ok, ok..." She stands, shaking her head, obviously pissed off. "I'll leave you with your pity party"

She walks towards the door, my mouth opening, wanting to stop her, but nothing comes out. Nothing but baited breath. Fuck sake.

***

I don't bother going to dinner, I'm not really hungry. I figure sitting in my room being antisocial is much more like me. Not. I have a quick fag before I make my way for detention.

It's nothing new to me, in fact I spent most of my classes in my old school in the detention room. They couldn't handle me. I never listened, I riled other students, I argued, I was a cocky little twat. It was so much fun. The detention supervisor was awesome.

We were supposed to sit and do work given to us by the teacher, work sheets, quizzes, all that kind of shit. We weren't allowed mobile phones, MP3 players, nothing. But she would always let me sit there with my iPod, I'd do the work, but she wouldn't mind.

Then again I guess she didn't really want to deprive me of it.

"You're on time, I'm impressed" Anal says, standing at her door with her arms crossed.

"What we doing?" I say, clapping my hands,

"_You_ are going to help the janitorial staff until 9"

"What?" My mouth falls open, and she smiles.

"I figure you'd be used to the general activities involved with detention, so I thought I'd shake it up a little bit for you"

"You're joking?" She shakes her head, "I'm cleaning?" She nods, "That's not fair"

"Going to stamp your feet like an impossible child are you?"

"Do I look like I'm stamping my feet?" I raise my eyebrow,

"Good" She walks to the main entrance, "John" She shouts a young looking man over to us, "This is Naomi, she will be helping you clean tonight" He raises his eyebrow, "She's a troublemaker, maybe a little hard work will sort her out"

"Ok Miss Sutherland"

"What's your tasks for today?"

"Kitchen mainly" He shrugs, "Then just a general tidy around"

"Fantastic, have Naomi cleaning the cookers, the hobs, I want them spotless"

"Yes Miss" I roll my eyes.

The hilarious thing about all of this punishment is that I actually like cleaning. I would rather clean than sit in a room for three hours. That shat on her strawberries huh?

Obviously I won't be telling her this.

*********

Ok, I said I like cleaning, and I do, but not for three hours straight. Granted the kitchen is fucking spotless, you can actually [legally] serve food out of there now.

My legs ache as I walk up the three flights of stairs. I get to the top and smile. My bed is near.

I stink of bleach though... gah, I can practically taste it. Eugh. Shower first me thinks.

I go to my room, opening the door into darkness. Assuming Red's asleep I'm kind enough not to turn the main lights on.

Better not as she might still be in a foul mood from our little ruckus earlier. I walk to my bed, switching my bedside light on.

I hear a groan coming from across the room, followed by another groan, and then the sound of shuffling. As the light is switched on there is a panic, "Shit" Red says, pushing who I presume to be Amy off her and effectively pushing her onto the floor. "Oh shit... sorry" I stand, my eyes wide as I see the seemingly innocent Red blushing furiously having just been caught doing the naughty... Amy stands up, looking me square in the eye, her cheeks flourish as she straightens her dirty blonde hair. Throwing her clothes on.

I stop staring. Turning round, ignoring the twinge in my stomach, waiting for my heart to start beating again. I grab a towel out of my wardrobe and walk out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I'm sure to take my time in the shower... I wouldn't want to walk in on _that_ again.

Anyway, she's not long lost her frigging virginity and she's already shacking up with someone else... she doesn't waste any time does she?

I feel myself getting more and more irritated, which isn't faring well for Red is she were to say anything when I went back in.

I turn the shower off, no longer being able to smell bleach. I wrap the towel around me, grabbing my clothes off the floor. I turn the lights out behind me and make my way, cautiously, to my room.

I knock... I'm knocking to gain entrance to my own fucking room here and she isn't answering. Oh wait here we go. "Why are you knocking?" She asks, frowning, and I just raise my eyebrow and she knows exactly why, "Uh yeah, sorry about that" I don't say anything. I walk into the room, putting my clothes on the chair. I quickly brush my hair.

"You still mad?" She asks, I turn and look at her, shaking my head, "You just seem-" I drop my towel as she's speaking and she forgets what she's going to say. Ha. "Uh... you uh" Scratching her head, "Seem mad"

"I'm not mad." I smile softly, "Why would I be?"

"It's just you were in detention... and we lost track"

"Red" I say, sighing and rolling my eyes. I put some underwear on as I'm talking to her, "Forget it, ok? I've seen worse, trust me"

"Ok..." She says, not completely and utterly convinced,

"You need the practice anyway" I wink at her as I climb into bed. Her mouth is slightly agape, but she gets that I'm teasing and smiles.

"Sorry about earlier... I didn't mean to go off-" I wave my hand,

"Forget it... you were just worried"

"I still am" She says quietly, sitting down on her bed,

"Nothing to be worried about" I shrug, pulling the covers over me, "Night"

"Hmm, yeah, night" She says, obviously thinking about it all.

I hate you Cook.

****************


	12. Chapter 12

Really unsure about this one... the mystery surround Jen is explained... but still, unsure about it. Hope it's ok.

Thanks for the reviews, and sorry for the lateness of the update, I've just had a really hectic weekend.

********

Chapter Twelve

Another week has flown by in this place. Another week of doing the same shit every single day, going to bed at the same time, waking up at the same time. Everything is planned out for us, there is no spontaneity, nothing. I have to create little activities for me to do just to entertain myself.

Things like pissing the teachers off, pissing the students off, just making a general nuisance of myself really.

It's the third night running I've had to make myself scarce from my room. The third night running! Red's got Amy in her room, again.

Christ sake, innocent little girl she's turning out to be. She's even changed her attitude, no longer shy and willing, but turning sarcastic and stubborn.

What the hell have I created?

I sit on the bench out in the grounds, my little quilt wrapping over me. It's just getting dark and pretty soon we're all gonna have to go to our rooms. The lights slowly coming on in this darkened garden.

I sit with a cigarette in one hand, just waiting to be lit, but my eyes are distracted by the stars. It's such a beautiful night. Once upon a time I'd sit outside most nights with Jen, just watching the stars, watching the clouds pass, watching the dusk turn to night.

I can't help the nostalgia coming through, I can't stop the thoughts, the references, the memories, but I'm trying hard to. With a firm blink I look away, lifting the lighter up to the cig that is now in my mouth, I light it, letting the fumes rush through my lungs, instantly making me forget.

The path crunches a little ahead of me, and I see a figure walking towards me. I smile as she gets closer, "Long time no see" I say, shuffling up on the bench, allowing her room. She smiles briefly, sitting down beside me,

"What you doing out here?" Her mysterious blue eyes stare into mine, and I feel myself being hypnotised by them.

"Red's got company" She raises her eyebrow,

"She's changed"

"Tell me about it" I sigh,

"You're rubbing off on her... suddenly she's becoming much more attractive to me" I look at her and she's smirking.

"What do you want Effy?"

"To finish what we started"

"Come on then" Fuck it...

**********

As I'm lying in her bed, my breath still ragged, my heart still racing, I can't sit here and say that I needed that, I feel as empty as I did before. She lies beside me, so many questions running through her mind, I can see that, but she's choosing not to ask them.

"Maybe I should go back to my room" I say, sitting up,

"Ok" She says, her voice hoarse. "Naomi" She stops me as I swing my legs round, "If you ever want to talk... I can tell something's wrong" She smiles sadly.

"Thanks"

"You're different" She says, "Not like you were when I first met you"

"No..." I say quietly, "I've not always been like that either"

"Good" She smiles again, "I prefer this version" I smile genuinely for the first time in a while,

"Thanks" She nods as she lays her head back on the pillow. I get changed,

"I mean it" She says just as I'm leaving. I turn around and smile at her,

"See ya" I say, closing the door.

The walk back to my room is a slow one, it's only just gone 9pm, so I have no idea what's waiting for me when I open the door. I do it with diligence, my head peeping round the door, checking. But she's sat at her desk. I walk in, putting my quilt on the bed and falling onto it.

"Oh you're back" She says, and I groan, I'm knackered now,

"Yeah" I say into my pillow. "Tired"

"I know, me too" She giggles,

"What the hell has happened to you?" I don't say it nastily, although I think it comes across,

"What?" She turns around, her eyebrows furrowed,

"You were a virgin a week ago... and you can't get enough now"

"What can I say, you've awakened something in me" She laughs,

"That as well, you never had an attitude before" I point at her, and she frowns again, "You used to blush if I so much as licked my lips in your presence" She shrugs,

"I'm young... What have I got to be reserved about? Why should I care about what I do?" She shrugs again, "You just made me realise that I had the wrong attitude towards life"

"Red, you have your own attitude, don't take mine, trust me, you don't want to be like me"

"I never said I wanted to be like you... I just think... I don't know, you seem to have more fun being difficult, not giving a shit... and all I ever did was give a shit and look where it got me... nowhere" She shrugs again, "I just don't see the point anymore"

"I have my own reasons for why I am the way I am... believe me, you don't want a life like mine"

"Oh right, yeah, Cook said" She turns back around and my stomach drops,

"Cook said what?" She panics, I can see it even though I can't even see her face,

"Shit"

"Emily" I warn, and she turns around,

"He didn't say a lot, he just told me that some girl fucked you up" she frowns, "I thought you said you didn't do girlfriends"

"I don't" I snap, "Why did he tell you that?" I panic even more, my voice rising,

"He just told me you were upset and needed to find you... and I asked why you were upset and he said Jen, I think that was her name... saying that she's fucked you up"

"Wanker" I practically scream,

"Hey, don't worry about it"

"He had no right to tell you that"

"He didn't tell me anything, really, just calm down" She comes and sits down beside me, "You don't have to tell me anything, Naomi" Her arm wraps around my back, gently rubbing my arm, trying to calm my anger, "Just calm down, ok?"

"Ok, ok" I say, stilling my breathing, calming my heart. "I can't talk about it... I can't" I say quietly,

"It's ok, you don't have to..."

"But you wanna know"

"Yeah, I do. But only when you're ready to talk about"

**********

We stopped talking about it. In fact, we stopped talking about anything at all. She went back to her desk after calming me down, and I got into bed. My head pounding, my eyes stinging from the threatening tears.

I fucking hate this. I really cannot stand feeling like this. It was two years ago. Why can't I just move on, why is it here that I can't cope. When really it's here I should be coping fine enough. I'm away from it all, from all the memories, from everything, but somehow they come creeping in, creeping through. Maybe this is a sign, a warning that I can't just forget about it all, that I can't just expect to move on, just like that, I need to acknowledge what happened, and then maybe, just maybe, I'll feel better about the whole thing.

I don't feel strong enough talking about it, not a chance in hell do I feel strong enough. Hell even Cook mentioning her name sent me into a frenzy. So I do the next thing on the list.

I launch myself out of bed, startling Red, who frowns, "What you doing?"

"I need to get it out of my head" I say, and she frowns, watching as I grab a piece of paper, and a pen. My mind swirling with what to write, how to start, anything, and writing it as if it were an essay, or a test, well, I find that easiest. I take a deep breath, feeling the ideas coming thick and fast. The pen presses against the paper and I start. My hand writing away furiously. It only takes me about five minutes to fill a page, another five minutes to fill another. And then I feel like I'm done. My shaky hand turns over the page, I take another deep breath as I read through it. I need to get all those questions out of my head, I need to get all those thoughts out, if only for a short while.

I feel the tears coming as I remember each thing intimately, remembering with such great detail, remembering the time, how the night felt, remembering every single thing. But as I'm reading through, I start to feel a little better, a little lighter.

If that makes sense at all.

All the while Red is watching me intently. I flip the page, reading the last part. Reading the last sentence over and over, making it sink in... I put the paper down in my lap, looking up, blinking away the tears. Her eyes are so sincere, so worried that I fear the only way of helping her is by giving her this, so I walk over and hand her it, nodding to her that it's ok to read...

_If you ever really sit down and think about it, the world is a pretty spectacular place. We all take advantage of it, we don't appreciate it, but without it, human kind would cease to exist. Human kind, that is another spectacular thing. Every action has a reaction. Everything is linked. One person's daily routine could ruin another's. _

_We all collide in such amazing ways, that it takes once specific collision to really make you realise this. _

_Say for instance, a man awoke late one morning, ten minutes later than he normally does. Putting his morning routine back, so he panics, realising he's going to be late to work, he start's to rush. Rather than sit and eat his breakfast he will grab a slice of toast, eating it as he's walking out of the door._

_A woman who lives in that same building is just leaving, a flask of steaming coffee in her hand. As she's walking down the stairs, the man rushes out of his room, colliding with this woman, making the hot coffee spill all down her top, thus making her late for work. _

_It's little things like that. Thing's we never really think about. _

_It's when all those little collisions build into one huge explosion that it can really impact on somebody's life. _

_Being late for work isn't such an important collision. Losing somebody you love, however, that is. _

_If it's unexpected you sit and try to think of ways it could have been different, those two little words playing on your mind, making you go crazy, 'What if'. _

_What if I didn't accidentally trip over the kitchen table as I was about to leave, forcing a glass of water to fall onto the floor, breaking it. What if I'd have cleaned it up quicker rather than stood cursing at the table, when really, it wasn't the table's fault. _

_What if maybe I'd have called ahead to tell her I was coming round, rather than deciding to surprise her. _

_What if when I got to her house, I decided to knock, rather than walk in? Maybe I should have shouted for her, at least let her know that I was there, instead of walking in and finding them together. _

_What if I'd have stayed, rather than ran. Stayed and shouted the odds at them both for doing that to me. What if I'd have waited a little while? What if I'd have slowed my walking down as she chased after me, pulling her clothes on. What if I'd have stopped walking when she grabbed me? What if I'd have turned around, rather than make her run around me, stopping in front of me on the main road. _

_Those are just my 'What if's', at that moment in time, there were many 'collisions' that were happening, and many 'What if's' that were about to happen, but the one that mattered the most, the one that involved me, well it ripped my life apart. _

_What if that driver hadn't been two times over the drink drive limit? What if a song he liked came on the radio, rather than one he hated? What if when he leant down to change the station the car didn't swerve, what if he'd have realised one second earlier that he was heading for her, that he was going to hit her? _

_Well, I know the answer to all of those questions, but just knowing the answer doesn't change the outcome, just knowing the answers won't bring her back now will it?_

_No, it won't._

****************


	13. Chapter 13

Only a short one tonight folks, I am absolutely shattered and I really wasn't in the mood to write, but I owe you some updates, so hey, better than nothing ( I hope)

Thank you so much for your comments, really made my day.

Not proof read by the way, my bed is calling!

*************

Chapter Thirteen

I watch intently as she reads the letter, feeling anxious about how she's going to perceive it.

Her eyebrows rise, her mouth falls open slightly, as she turns the page over, her eyes scanning through the words, she looks up at me, her moth still open, "Is this true?" I bite my lip before I nod, she takes a deep breath, holding it briefly before letting it out, "Shit..." She says quietly.

I release the breath that I've been holding since I gave her the letter, my palms sweating, my eyes stinging, but as I release that breath I feel a tear slip down my cheek, but I'm quick to wipe it, gotta stay strong.

Unfortunately she caught me wiping away my tear, and quicker than I can say 'I'm alright' she's walking across the room, embracing me, "I am so sorry, Naomi" She says, holding onto me tightly.

At first I don't know what to do, so I stand there lifelessly as she's holding onto me so tightly, but I feel myself relax, I wrap my arms around her back, holding her back.

It's almost as if I forget everything that has just happened, and the only thing that I'm thinking about it her in my arms. She feels so good.

That sudden happy feeling is gone and replaced by the original feeling. I crack. Choking back the tears I stop myself. My arms lifting up, pushing her away, "Don't" I say, my voice weak, my head shakes as she look frowns, "Please" I take a step back, sitting on my bed, "Stop being so nice to me"

"I can't help it" She says quietly, averting her eyes, "Naomi I understand you don't want to talk about it, but I think... you need to"

"I know"

"I'm here when you wanna talk" She smiles, she turns away, but I reach up, grabbing her arm, she looks at me, and I nod. I pull on her wrist gently, asking her to sit down, but without words.

She does so, sitting at the other end of my bed, getting comfortable. "Who was she?" She asks gently,

"My best friend..." I say simply, "We'd been friends for as long as I can remember, and it just developed... We had only been together a couple of months before it happened. We hadn't slept together... I was under the assumption that we both were virgins, and I wanted it to be special, rather than rushed... I wanted to wait." I can't look at her as I'm talking.

"Did you love her?" I hesitate,

"Yes... but I can't describe that love, I can't define it"

"How come?"

"It was like nothing I'd ever felt before... it really was a strange thing... I felt as though I couldn't live without her, like just having her with me felt like the greatest thing in the world. I loved her... I really did, but... I don't think I was ever truly in love with her... but I never knew that then"

"I know what you mean" She sighs,

"But it hit me like a ton of bricks when I walked in on them... I felt my heart break, I couldn't speak. I so wanted to yell at her, to tell her what a fucking bitch she was... just make her hurt a little... if I was hurting and it was her fault, she needed a little pain. I remember, that was the exact thought running through my mind as I stormed out... I want to hurt her, I hated her, I fucking hated her..." The tears threaten, "She stopped me, tried to turn me around, but I wouldn't let her, I wasn't moving for her, not anymore. I was stubborn, if only I'd have turned, maybe it would have been different"

"You have to stop thinking like that..." She says leaning forward, resting her hand on my arm, "You'll drive yourself crazy"

"I already am" I laugh,

"Go on"

"She started saying how sorry she was, that it never meant anything, telling me that she loved me... not her, fuck I never even knew who the other girl was..." I shake my head, licking my lips slightly, "I was about to yell at her, to tell her I hated her, tell her what a bitch she is, just anything, anything at all, when he hit her." I lower my head, flashes of it running through my mind, "One second earlier she was telling me she's sorry, begging for forgiveness, and the next second she's at the other side of the road... he's hit her so hard she almost flew... I can't remember much after that... up until the hospital... I was sitting in the waiting room, my mum on one side, hers on the other. Both of them sitting there, holding me, telling me that she'll make it, she's a fighter... 'She's a fighter Nai, she'll make it, you just see', her mum smiled at me, tears streaming down her face. I knew she wouldn't. I knew straight away that she was gone. I couldn't speak, I couldn't say a word to anybody, nothing... I just kept seeing her face, seeing her contorted body lying on the road. The blood on the floor beneath her... she was so... so... lifeless... It just wouldn't sink in, not five minutes earlier she was sleeping with another girl, and here she was... just so fucking lifeless..." I break down, but she doesn't comfort me... and I don't want her to... "The doctor walked out of the room, you could tell from his face it wasn't good... Again I didn't say a word, her mum stood up, grabbing my hand, trying to comfort me, her voice croaking as she asked him... just one shake of his head and that was it, they broke down... her hand still clasping mine... just one shake of the head and it broke all our hearts... Just one fucking shake."

"I'm so sorry" She says, her eyes tearing up,

"The thing that hurts the most is she died thinking I hated her... I never got the change to argue, I never got the chance to forgive... it just feels so unfinished"

"So finish it" She says, as if it's the easiest thing in the world, now I look at her, "I know how it sounds Naomi, I do... but you can't keep blaming yourself, you can't keep thinking that if you'd have done something different, she'd still be here. It's a tragedy, yes, but don't let it rule your life... I don't think she'd want to see you like this, do you?"

"No." I sigh, wiping my eyes roughly, she shuffles up the bed, her eyes soft, caring... nobody has looked at me like this in a long time... "I don't know what to do though" I say, feeling another tear fall, but she's quick to catch it,

"It will come to you" She says softly, her fingers caressing my cheek. I try my hardest not to lean into it, I try my hardest not to read anything into the way she's looking at me. "Come on, lets go get some tea" She says, standing up,

"But it's after lights out"

"So..." She says, smiling, "I don't think she'd mind us having a cup of tea, do you?"

"Yes" I giggle nervously,

"Do you care?"

"Not really" She nods toward the door, holding her hand out,

"Come on" I take her hand, pulling myself up.

*******

"So when did it happen?" She asks, blowing on her steaming cup,

"When I was fifteen" She seems to be thinking about something, "What?"

"Nothing"

"No..." I say softly, taking a sip of my tea,

"Well you said you never slept together... that you were a virgin..." I nod, "So after it happened, that's when you lost it to the older woman?" I nod again, realising what she's getting at,

"I went off the rails" I say simply, "Before, I wanted everything to be perfect, everything to be right... and in wanting that so much things turned out the complete opposite, so one day I just gave up... I told myself I wasn't going to care anymore, I wasn't going to wait for things to happen, I would make them happen..." I sigh, "I wasn't going to carry on spectating, I wanted to live life on the edge, rather than sit back and just wait for it all to happen... life's too short"

"And now?"

"I don't regret the things that I've done... not one bit"

"Are you happy though, with the way things are?"

"Not really, but then if I hadn't have rebelled, if I hadn't have pissed my mother off so much that she would send me here, well I'd have never met you, would I?"

"Every action has a reaction" She says, smiling,

"I'll never forget her though" I say,

"No, you won't. But it will get easier once you get what you so desperately need"

"I don't know how to get it though"

"I can't help you with that"

"I wish you could" I laugh,

"Don't worry about it, ok?" I nod, "Do you feel a little better now you've spoken about it?"

"Yeah, I feel lighter..." She smiles, "Thanks"

"My pleasure"

"No, really." She smiles again,

"I'm just glad I could help"

********


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for no update yesterday, first day of a bad cold all I wanted to do was curl up and die!

This first part of this a bit of a filler... but Naomily is certainly on the rise!

Thanks for reading, and as ever, reviewing! Really love it!

Oh, not proof read, I've had a bit to drink and really can't be arsed! So apologies for any mistakes!

**********

Chapter Fourteen

It's half term, the entire school is buzzing at the prospect of going home. Me, well, I'm not.

A month ago and I'd have bitten your hand off had you offered me the chance to go home. Funny how things change, huh?

"So where you live?" She asks as I'm packing my bag for a week, it's only just occurred to me that I don't even know where she lives apart from here, obviously.

"Bristol" I say,

"Really?"

"No, I lied" She chuckles, "Why?"

"I live in Bath..."

"Oh, so not very far away" I say,

"Nope, you can always visit me if you want" She says a little nervously,

"What?" I laugh, "Haven't you spent enough time with me over the past few weeks?" she goes quiet, I clear my throat, "I mean, yeah that'll be great" I laugh.

Everybody waits in the main hall until they're folks or whoever is picking them up shows. My mums late, as per usual, but then so is Red's. "Looks like we're staying here over half term" I joke, but she simply chuckles nervously. "Oh great" I sigh as I see me over zealous mother walk in, waving like a retard on a day out. I bow my head, "Mother's here"

"Naomi, Naomi, my darling" She comes up to me, hugging me so tightly, so much so that I want to push her to the floor. But I don't,

"Hi mum" I say,

"God, you look well" She ruffles my hair, "You look really well!" She says, a big smile on her face, "I knew this place was a good idea"

"Go you" I joke,

"Come on, let's get your bags in the car and we'll get going" She grabs my bag, but I stop her,

"You mind waiting..." She frowns, "Just Emily's family haven't come yet..."

"Sure thing" She smiles widely,

"You don't have to, really?" Red starts, she looks embarrassed, "they'll be here soon"

"Nonsense" My mum waves her hand, "I don't mind waiting" She smiles widely, "I'm Gina"

"Emily" Red says, sticking true to her name as she blushes.

"Nice to meet you, have you been making friends Naomi?" I roll my eyes, and now Emily is laughing,

"I'm her roommate" Emily says, "And friend"

"Good to hear it, Naomi could do with new friends, her old ones being-"

"Mother!" I warn, and she holds her hand up,

"Sorry, sorry"

"Emily Fitch?" Anal shouts, and Red holds her hand up, Anal comes walking over, "Naomi, Gina, good to see you again" She smiles, nodding, "There is a slight problem, Emily"

"What?" She panics,

"Nothing to worry about, it's just your parent's can't make it up here to pick you up, they've forwarded their bank details for you to get a train down"

"Great" She sighs, "Ok, thanks"

"Where do you live, sweet?" My mum asks,

"Bath"

"Oh, come on, we'll take you down"

"No, it's ok, I'll get the train, but thanks anyway"

"It's really no bother"

"Come on, Red..." I say, nodding toward the door,

"You sure?" I nod, "Is that ok?" She asks Anal, who smiles widely before nodding,

"That is fine, very kind of you Naomi" She smiles again, "I'll ring your parents back and let them know"

"Thanks"

"I hope you girls have peed, cause there isn't much chance once we get on the road"

"Yes, yes" I say, shaking my head and pulling a face at Red, who giggles.

*******

We've been driving for about an hour, my mother in a world of her own, quietly smiling to herself as Red and I sit chatting in the back seat. "I need a fag" I say, and she giggles,

"Have one then"

"She'll go nuts"

"I'm sure she won't mind"

"Mum" I ask, and she looks to us, "Can I smoke" She sighs,

"If you must, but make sure the window is open fully"

"What?" I'm flabbergasted,

"Do it quick before I change my mind" She sighs, shaking her head. I smile, lighting up. "So, Emily" Red looks towards her, "How are you finding my daughter?"

"Great" She smiles widely, "I mean we get along well..."

"Really?" She seems shocked, "Just she wasn't exactly the friendly type when I dropped her off"

"Oh, she's not friendly" She giggles, and my mouth falls open, "What, you're not" She shrugs, "But once you get used to her mood swings and sarcastic comments, she's not as bad as she seems, really" that's how the conversation went pretty much.

Both of them taking the piss out of me, comparing stories about my stubbornness, I was beginning to regret bringing Red with me, but as my mum filled up with petrol, just about half an hour shy of our house I had an idea. "Can I ask you something?" I say as she's flicking through a book,

"Hmm" She looks up at me,

"Will you come back to mine?"

"Why?" She frowns,

"I want you to do something with me?" I ask quietly,

"Sure" She smiles,

"But I haven't told you what it is yet"

"I have an idea"

"It's not sex" I frown at her, and she laughs,

"I know"

"So how can you know what I'm talking about?"

"I just do"

"How?" I frown deeper,

"I can't explain it... you just have... I don't know, different tones"

"Tones of what?"

"Voice..."

"Right" I sigh,

"You're talking about Jen, aren't you?"

"Yeah"

"I thought so"

"How'd you know" Now she sighs,

"I don't know, I just do..."

"Ok then"

"So..." Mum breathes as she gets into the car, "I know my way back to Bristol from here, but not bath"

"Emily's coming back with us for a bit, if that's ok?"

"That's fine love" She smiles,

"I'll get my mum to pick me up from yours, save you the bother Gina"

"No worries darl, I don't mind" Red smiles widely, I think she likes my mum.

*******

"I'll cook some tea, I bet you're dying for some home cooked food" Mum smiles widely,

"Thanks" Red grins,

"Come on" I nod, tugging on her sleeve, she frowns but follows. I take up the stairs of my house and into my room, "Welcome to my sanctuary" I grin, I've missed this place.

My double bed sits on the longest wall of the room, with double wardrobes either side. Every inch of my walls are covered in either posters of drawings that me and Cook have done. I have a desk that sits in the corner of the room, with nothing but empty bottles of alcohol and tab ends of spliffs sitting in an ashtray. It's a typical teenagers room, clothes thrown on the floor, it's just a mess, but it's home. "Wow" Red giggles, "This is so... you"

"I know" She looks at the posters on the wall, ranging from Madonna to Cristina Scabbia, there are even a few arty pictures hung up. She walks over to my desk, amazingly finding a picture hidden beneath all the rubble. Two blondes, one with green eyes, the other with blue. The blued eyed girl is carrying the green eyed on her back. In laymen's terms; Jen and myself.

"She's beautiful" She says sadly.

"Yeah"

"You're so different" She says, again quietly, almost as if she's tiptoeing around the subject, which I suppose she is,

"A lot has changed since that picture"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry for keeping you away from your family, I bet they're dying to see you"

"Probably not..."

"What do you mean?"

"They've probably not even noticed I've gone"

"They have"

"Nah, they've got Katie... she's more than enough for them"

"Don't be silly, Red" She shrugs,

"They didn't even bother to come pick me up, Naomi"

"They must have reasons"

"If mum was busy, dad could have, and vice versa... they aren't together anymore and when mum's free, dad isn't... once of them is always free"

"You don't know what's happened" I rub her shoulder, "Don't worry so much"

"I guess" She shrugs again, "Anyway so what's your plan?"

"I want to do something I haven't done before"

"What's that?" She looks at me,

"Visit her"

"You've never?" I shake my head, "Why?"

"Couldn't bring myself to"

"And now?"

"I've got you..." I say simply, and she smiles.

"Come on then, no time like the present"

"Now?" She nods, "But tea"

"I'm sure your mum can wait an hour before she starts, go ask"

"Now? Can't we wait a little while?"

"You can put it off as much as you want, but we're still going" I roll my eyes,

"I'll go tell her"

********

It's as if the weather knew that I'd be visiting this place, it's like it thought that giving me rain, giving me a darkened sky would do me a favour, well it's not.

I understand that a cemetery isn't exactly the most joyous of places, but surely handing me thunderstorms and lightening on my first visit isn't exactly the best thing to do.

Then again, I suppose complaining about it isn't going to change a thing.

Red and I are only a few minutes away from the inevitable, our hoods up, our moods darkened, much like the sky. I try to ignore the nerves, I try to ignore the fear, but as sure as anything, they are there, and they are a constant reminder of the coward in me.

We finally reach the gates, and I stutter, I stall. But as her hand fits into mine, giving an encouraging squeeze, I know that I've got to do this.

It's almost like a magnet, although I've never been, I'm drawn to where she lies.

Nothing is said between Emily and myself, but then, nothing needs to be said. I just need her here... I can't explain why, I just do.

We stop in front of her grave, my heart sinking. I grasp hold of the flowers that I hold in my hand, leaning down I place them on her grave. 'Jennifer Williams, A beloved Daughter and friend, gone but never forgotten'. That's the message written, and as I read I feel a lump form in my throat. Emily grips my hand tighter.

I regret a lot of things, but the things I regret the most is not being at her funeral, and not visiting her grave. I was selfish, I was beyond help at that point, the only thing that helped was to drown my sorrows, but being here, being in the surreal place, it relaxes me a little. "Hey you" I say quietly, "Miss me?" I laugh. I feel stupid, talking to a piece of concrete. Then again, I don't feel stupid, because for some strange reason, I know that she's listening.

I understand how silly that sounds, but I feel her. Emily grips my hand again, before letting go, I look to her, and she nods away, meaning she'll leave me alone. I smile briefly, a tear shining in my eye. She walks away, "I'm sorry I haven't come before now, I've been a mess, Jen" I say, kneeling down, "I thought it was because of you, of what you did, but I realise now it's not. You were my best friend, and I miss you every single day. I blamed myself for the longest time, but I guess it was just your time" A tear falls down my cheek, "I just wanted to tell you that I forgive you... you'll be in my heart forever" I stand up, stepping backwards slightly, "I won't leave it as long next time"

I look for Emily, and she's slowly making her way back. She smiles sadly at me, she walks up the side of Jen's grave and places two rocks on top, I frown, "What's that for?" She steps back towards me and grabs my hand,

"Lets them know people have come to visit" She smiles again. I feel my bottom lip quiver, but before I can even stop it, her arm circles around me, hugging me tightly.

We're in this embrace for a little while, "You ready?" She asks quietly in my ear, and I nod, pulling away.

"Think so" I take one last look at her grave, and I start to walk away.

We're quiet as we're walking back to my house. The weather is dissipating, and as we make it to my door, the night is setting in. We walk in, noting the house in darkness. I look in the living room and my mother's nodded off in her chair. I smile to myself.

After a quick check to see that she isn't actually cooking anything, we both go up to my room.

I sit down on my bed. My body aching, my heart hurting. I feel like crying again. I feel a little closure, but then, I suppose it's something I'll never forget.

Emily sits down beside me. "Come here" She says, holding her arm out. I lean into the crook of her neck, holding onto her tightly,

"Thanks" I say through sniffing, trying to stop the tears,

"Anytime" she rubs my back softly. I indulge, before pulling away, my teary eyes looking into hers.

I can't stop glancing at her lips, I can't stop wanting to kiss her. I can't stop all these thoughts running through my mind right now, and I certainly can't stop the next words that come out of my mouth,

"Kiss me"

*************


	15. Chapter 15

Ok, nearly 4am here, and I've just rolled this out while half asleep. I'm too bloody tired to sleep!

Anyhows, it's a little bit of a filler, but it'll get better,

Thanks for the reviews, really appreciate them, as always!

**************

Chapter Fifteen

"Kiss me". It's simple, and to the point. I just need to feel something different for a little while. I look into her eyes, she softens slightly, a small smile on her lips. I know I'm needy, I know this. She lifts her hand up, her thumb connecting with my cheek, brushing away the remainder of my tears.

I don't say anything else, I can't. As she's leaning in, her breath deep, my heart racing and my stomach flipping, I want nothing more than this, right now.

We're barely inches apart, her warm breath hitting my moist lips, but almost as soon as they appear, they're gone, and rather than kissing me where I so desperately need her to kiss me, she kisses me on my forehead, lingering a little.

Even this creates a flurry of emotions inside of me, some of them disappointment and guilt, but it also relaxes me. A simple display of affection astounding yet crippling at the same time. She pulls away, smiling, "It's not what you really want, Naomi" She rubs my cheek again.

It is, but I can't tell her this. I can't tell her that it's all I want. I want to kiss her, I want to feel her, I want things to go further, but I can't say this.

I can't say anything because, quite simply, I don't trust my emotions at the minute.

I want her. Yet I can't distinguish what 'want' means. Is it an escape from the emotions that over power me? Am I slowly falling for her? Or is it Jen?

I can't answer anything at the minute.

I don't want her to be another conquest, I don't want her to be another notch, and I most certainly don't want her to become another outlet for my abandoned feelings.

"I'm sorry" She shakes her head almost immediately,

"No need to be" She smiles, "I'm here for you, and I always will be, remember that, ok?" I nod,

"Ok" Her phone rings in her pocket, she rolls her eyes as she grabs it out,

"It's my mum, hang on" She answers, "Hey, I'm at a friends, I'll be back in a bit"

"You can stay the night, it is getting late" I whisper, and she looks at me, thinking it over,

"I'm gonna stay here tonight mum, my friends mum has fallen asleep and I don't want to wake her" She sighs, "No, don't bother, it's ok, I'll see you tomorrow, I know... yeah, bye" She hangs up and sighs again, "mother's"

"Tell me about it"

"Your mums cool" She smiles widely,

"I know..."

"So now you've got me here, what are you plans" She grins, and I laugh,

"Uh..." I tap my chin, "Oh, I got my mum to record Glee while we've been away, fancy it?"

"What's Glee?" She frowns,

"Looks ace, come on, we'll watch it"

*******

Three episodes into Glee and I love it already. The campness of it cheering me up a hell of a lot. Red's been laughing all the way through also, which is a bonus.

My mum's gone up to bed after cooking us an awesome meal. I have missed her cooking, as much as I hate to admit. Nothing beats a mother's cooking.

We've got my quilt thrown over us as we're snacking on crisps. "Oh my god I love him" I say, meaning Kurt, the gay one out of it, "He's hilarious"

"I like Rachel" She smiles,

"Oh aye" I wink at her.

"What? It's her singing" She shrugs and I giggle,

"I'm sure" I say while yawning,

"You're tired"

"No, no" I start to yawn again, "I'm fine"

"Sorry, didn't get that through your yawning" She giggles,

"I said I'm fine..."

"Nah, you get to bed"

"What about you?" I frown,

"I'll sleep down here, I'm good" She smiles,

"No, I've got a double Red, you can share with me" She hesitates, "I won't jump you" I nudge her, "It's much comfier than this"

"I don't mind, really"

"Well, I do" I stand up, grabbing the quilt, "Plus we've no spare bedding, so you'll be cold" she sighs,

"Fine, fine" laughing as she gets up she grabs the quilt off me, "Go on then", I smile, heading towards the stairs, Emily following me. I turn the lights off as we go and head to the bathroom, "Two ticks" I say as she walks into my room.

I wash my face, waking myself up slightly. It's been a long day, but a productive one all the same. I look at myself in the mirror, hating the way I look right now, dark circles under my bloodshot eyes. I really do look tired.

I'm lethargic as I'm brushing my teeth. Jesus, brushing my teeth is tiring me out, I'm such a tool!

I rinse my mouth out and walk to my room where Red is sitting on the bed, obviously waiting for me to finish, "Bathroom's free" I say, and she smiles, standing up almost immediately.

After stripping off to my undies, I climb into bed, pulling the covers over me, I sigh lovingly, I've missed my bed.

I feel myself drifting off when a rush of cold air runs underneath the quilts, "Ooh" I say, pulling them tighter,

"Sorry" Red says as she climbs under. "Night"

"Night"

*******

I know you're probably expecting us to wake up spooning, or something to that effect, but we don't. In fact we have our backs to each other, pretty much the same position we went to sleep in.

I check my alarm clock, and I've slept for about twelve hours, so has Red. God I needed that, I feel so much better in myself having had half a days sleep.

Actually, putting it that way makes me feel slightly guilty knowing that half a day has been wasted with us being a sleep, but oh well, I won't dwell on it.

I turn over, laying on my back, staring up at the plastic stars stuck on my ceiling. The glow in the dark ones which obviously aren't glowing as it's gone midday, but still. I sigh. "Morning" Red says groggily,

"Afternoon"

"It's not" She turns over, panicking slightly,

"Fraid so" I smile.

"Shit" She leans down the bed and picks her phone up, sure enough she has six missed calls from her mum, "I knew I shouldn't have put it on silent"

"Don't worry, mum will be in she'll take you as soon as you're ready." I smile at her, and she looks away bashfully,

"Thanks" I frown, why is she embarrassed. Am I flashing her? With a quick check I realise I'm not,

"Why are you blushing?" I ask, and she blushes even more, but ignores me, "hey" I nudge her,

"No reason"

"Red"

"I dreamt about you last night" I laugh,

"Right... and that makes you blush? What was it about?"

"Too graphic to mention this early" I laugh louder,

"Oh my god, you had a sex dream about me?" She bites her lip, "Tell me about it"

"I don't remember much" She tries, but I laugh, "No, really, I just know it was a sex dream and that were in it"

"That's boring, I want details"

"Tough shit then aint it" She slides her legs out of bed and then stretches,

"Cruel"

"I already know what you're like in the sack, and vice versa so how can I be cruel?" She turns around, smiling, trying to hide another faint blush on her cheeks,

"Sex isn't the same every single time dear... you've got a lot to learn" I wink at her. I grab my robe which sits upon my chair, wrapping it around me, "Coffee?"

"Please" She clears her throat, "Am I ok to have a shower?"

"Course you are" I smile as I walk out of my room.

Mum's sat in the kitchen reading the paper. She's just boiled the kettle and already has two cups out ready, "You're up" she says, slightly surprised,

"Yeah, I was tired" I say as I flick the kettle on again for some odd reason. Am I the only person that does that, even though you know that the kettle has just boiled, and there is still steam coming out of it, you still flick it again, convincing yourself that it has magically gone cold in the last minute... Ok, guess so.

"What's the plan today love?"

"What do you mean?"

"Emily"

"Oh" I say, putting the sugar into our cups, I don't know how she has it, but she's having sugar anyway... "Uh, not sure yet, she's just having a shower. I think she'll be wanting to go home shortly after that"

"Oh, ok"

"Why?"

"It's just I need to pick something up from Karen's soon" Karen is mum's best friend, "That's all"

"Well why don't you go now? she'll be a little while in the shower and then we can go when you come back"

"She won't mind?"

"Course not"

"Ok" She stands up, "Don't make a mess, I've cleaned up once already" She points at me, walking over to me she kisses me on the cheek, "Won't be long"

"Bye" I walk over to the fridge, grabbing the milk. I don't pour Red's just yet, I'll wait until I hear the shower stop.

Aren't I nice?

I walk to the table, putting my cup on a mat and sit down, I turn the paper over looking at the front page, the latest footballer scandal naturally dominates the page. I tut, do we really care that they can't keep their cock in their pants? Oh look, it takes up until page 12 to actually get past the celebrity gossip.

That is another thing that annoys me. Surely if you wanted to read about celebrity gossip you'd buy stupid magazines... Gah, too early for me to have this debate with myself.

Needless to say I read about the footballers, then Lady Gaga, hell, I even read what the page 3 model's have to say about said footballers. I'm such a hypocrite sometimes.

"Hey" Emily smiles as she walks in,

"Oh shit, sorry"

"What?" She panics,

"I meant to pour you your coffee when I heard the shower stop, but got carried away reading the paper"

"Oh, no worries, I'll do it" She walks over to the kettle, "Anything interesting?"

"Shagging footballers, extravaganza pop stars, the latest Peter/Katie scandal"

"Eugh" She groans, "Do we care?" Oh, liking her a little bit more now. I stand up, giving up on the rag, I walk to the sink, putting my cup in,

"Good shower?"

"Yeah, thanks"

"Oh, mum's nipped out somewhere, she won't be long, so you mind waiting a little bit before you go?"

"Not at all" She smiles, sipping her coffee.

There's a silence that fills the air between us, not an awkward silence, well it kind of is actually. Only slightly though. "Why did you want me to kiss you?" She starts, quietly, and I frown, "I need to know"

"Why?"

"I asked you first"

We're both leaning against the counter, her hands cradling her cup, mine gripping onto the side behind me, slightly nervous at this conversation, "I wanted you to"

"Why?" Now she's nervous, her finger absentmindedly tapping away at her cup,

"I don't know" Her head lowers, and she lets out a deep breath, a breath I hadn't realised she was holding, "Don't take that the wrong way" I say, not looking at her, but desperate not to fuck this up, whatever this is, "I'm glad nothing happened... I don't know why I asked... I don't know if it was Jen, or, uh, something else" She looks at me,

"Something else?"

"Yeah"

"What do you mean 'something else'?" I sigh again, trying to find the words in my head, trying to decide what to do, trying to grow a pair and tell her what I'm really getting at, lets see shall we.

"I don't know Ems" I say, almost exasperated, "I really don't know" I'm not lying, I really don't know, but then I'm not telling her the options I have already discovered, but hey, she doesn't need to know,

"Ok" She takes a sip of her coffee before putting it on the counter behind her. "Sorry, I just wanted to know"

"As soon as I know, you'll know, ok? I'm sorry for asking, really"

"Why?"

"I was out of line"

"Naomi..." She says, pushing herself off the counter and turning her body to mine, "If the circumstances were different... and you'd have asked me... I wouldn't hesitate"

****************


	16. Chapter 16

Not sure about this one at all, kind of trying to develop it a little more, not sure if it worked like. But hey.

Knackered, so bed time. And not proof read so my apologies! Thanks for the comments!

*************

Chapter Sixteen

What the hell am I supposed to say back to that? Really, any ideas right now would be perfect.

Hurry please, standing here like a retard on day release... "Uh... Good to know" Good. To. Know.

Good to fucking know? I could hit myself right now, hard. She laughs before picking her coffee up again, her head shaking slightly, but the giggle still carrying on. Naomi Cambell = Actual tool.

"Sorry, I am a fucking idiot" I say, my hands applying pressure to my eyes, she doesn't say anything, she just sips her coffee with a smile on her face.

Why does she make me like this? Normally I'm confident, witty and intelligent and the best I could come up with was 'good to know'. I'm going to regret that for a long, long time.

I could have grabbed her and kissed the fuck out of her, I could have made a move, anything, but instead I say the three lamest words I could think of, and you know why?

Not because I'm an idiot, ok, partly, but because I like her.

Throw any nobody in her place and have her say exactly what she just did and I wouldn't be thinking this right now, we'd be too busy making sweet sweet love. But no, I like this girl standing next to me, mocking me, so therefore I'm about as confident as a... a... really nervous and shy person.

See I can't even come up with a good comparison because she's in the fucking room. Ah shut up, Naomi. "So" I say, plastering a smile on my face and grabbing my fags. "What do you want to do?" She looks at me and laughs again, "What?"

"Nothing, nothing"

"When you say nothing like that... it's something" I nod, oh, oh, hold the phone, I'm coming back,

"You just make me laugh, is all"

"With or at"

"A little of both" She squints, before smiling, "But good"

"Good to know" I wink at her, and she laughs harder.

"What are your plans for half term?"

"Not sure yet, half expecting Cook to show up pretty soon"

"Why?" She frowns,

"He knows not to bother me before dinner, and he'll know to wait a little longer today as I'd be knackered from the journey yesterday, he's considerate sometimes" I smile, "Only sometimes though"

"How did you two meet?" I laugh,

"She was absolutely wankered" He saunters in with a big grin on his face, my mouth falls open,

"I so was not!" I say, adamantly, but he nods toward Emily,

"You were Naomikins. Big house party at Fredder's, you'd drank far too much Lambrini, and you were throwing up in the sink..." Oh god, I can remember that,

"Well, I was fourteen and it was my first drink"

"She was such a good girl back then" He winks, "Hadn't touched a drop of alcohol before, until Cookie took her under his wing" He pats his chest like an ape, and I giggle,

"Great idea that was" I raise my eyebrow, all while Emily is oblivious, "Oh, sorry, Red" I say,

"We'd basically never met each other before. That was our first nights meeting, and I took her outside for some air and a fag"

"he got my smoking also" He rolls his eyes,

"I didn't force you" He argues back, making Red giggle, "Anyway, we were talking about random shit, and then that's how it started" He smiles widely, as do I, "Didn't see each other much until..."

"Yeah, then we saw too much" I laugh, the panic going out of his eyes as he realises what he was going to say,

"I'm broken babes" He walks over to me, hugging me tightly, "So..." He says, "You two fucked again yet?" I blush, a lot.

"What?" Red says, shocked as hell,

"Sorry, I tell him everything" I shrug,

"Could have warned me" She frowns, before smiling,

"I'll take that as a yes"

"No, we haven't" She says, and Cook smiles,

"Saving it for me are you?"

"Fuck off, Cook"

"I just got here" He holds his hands up,

"Mum's gonna come back soon and then we're taking Red home"

"Can Cookie come?" he tries to smile seductively but looks like he's had one too many vodkas, although he probably has.

"No"

"G won't mind" He grins,

"Oh, I'm sure she will" I laugh.

"Big party tonight Naomikins" I sigh,

"Thank god for that need to get fucked!" I swear I just hear Red's neck crack as she snaps her head towards me, "I mean drunk" I say, shrugging, Cook just laughs,

"No she doesn't" I kick him, but he doesn't flinch, bastard.

"Whatever"

"Stick around Ems, you should come" Cook says, grinning, "Be fun"

"I can't. I gotta get home" She says, genuinely disappointed.

"Maybe next time" He grins.

"Yeah, maybe" I hear the front door and my smile fades,

"You better go, Cook" I say, pushing on him,

"It'll be fine"

"Hey, Hi, I'm home guys-" She walks into the kitchen and sees Cook stood with us, "James" She says sternly,

"Gina, how you been?"

"Fine" My mother doesn't like Cook. At all, "Are you girls ready?" She puts down a bag on the counter and looks at us,

"I'll see you later Naomi" Cook waves as he leaves, "Bye Gina" Mum flips her hand as he's leaving, both Red and myself say a quick bye.

"Yeah, I'll just go grab my bag" Emily says as she follows Cook out.

"Naomi, I told you I don't want that boy in my house"

"Mum, please" I say, rolling my eyes,

"If it wasn't for him, my dear girl, you wouldn't be in Scotland"

"It's got nothing to do with Cook, mum" I say, trying not to lose my temper,

"Nothing to do with Cook" She laughs, "Since you started hanging around with that boy all these problems started"

"No, mother. Since Jen died, that's when all these problems started"

"Naomi" She warns,

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to talk about it with you, maybe I needed you to be there? Or did you just want to block me out as well as her"

"I didn't block anything out"

"Keep telling yourself that" I say, walking off. Great mood officially ruined. "God she is impossible" I say as I slam the door to my room, startling Emily, "Sorry" I say, calming down slightly,

"What's happened?"

"She blames Cook, for everything" I sigh, "Doesn't matter, I'm not letting her ruin my week at home" I smile while sighing, "Ready?"

"Almost" I get the distinct feeling she's not looking forward to going home,

"Red?" she looks at me, "What's wrong?" I ask as I sit on my bed,

"Nothing"

"Emily" She always seems to open up when I call her by her actually name,

"Katie" She says simply,

"Your twin" She nods,

"I haven't exactly been honest with you" She takes a breath, "I said the reason Katie isn't at school with me is because she's stupid, but it's not"

"She's a genius?" I giggle, but she shakes her head,

"She's a mother" I can't help my mouth falling open at that,

"What?" she nods,

"She's got an eighteen month old son"

"Eighteen?"

"I know... she started early" She chuckles, "Anyway, it's like I don't exist... my mum's doting on her and Jamie, and so does my Dad, there's no point me even being at home sometimes"

"So stay" She pulls a face,

"I'm invisible, but they'd be pissed if I didn't go home"

"They'll get over it" I shrug,

"Thanks, but I can't"

"Well, you know where I live" I smile, "Come on, better to get it over and done with"

"Yeah, I guess"

************

It doesn't take a genius to know that Emily is nervous, you can see her getting more and more anxious the closer we get to her house. In fact, she's practically shaking as we enter her street.

I grab her hand, giving it an encouraging squeeze. "You'll be fine" I smile. She smiles briefly, and nods.

"It's this one" She points to a modest house that sits in a posh street. Mum pulls up outside and gets out of the car, walking to the boot. Emily gets out first, stepping an uneasy foot onto the pavement. As I'm getting out I notice the front door open, and a duplicate Emily come running out. "Emsy" Emily turns to Katie and smiles as Katie hugs her,

"Katie" Emily says, less than enthused.

There's a quick banter between them before I see Jamie walking along the path, I can't help but gush. "Ems" He says in a cute little voice that chokes tears up to your eyes. Now Emily beams, picking him up and spinning him before giving him a big cuddle,

"Little man" She grins, the boys tiny arms gripping onto Emily for dear life.

I feel my heart balloon at this scene. Seeing her so relaxed, comfortable, compared to the nervous wreck she was thirty seconds ago, "He's got so big" She says, pushing him up into the air,

"He's walking properly now, even running, bless him, ran into the wall the other day, pissed myself" Katie says, laughing, "Who's this" She says, meaning my mum,

"Oh" Emily holds Jamie so that he's resting on her hip and points to mum, "This is Gina" Mum holds her hand out and Katie shakes it, "And this is Naomi, a friend from school"

"Friend?" Katie raises her eyebrow, "Moving up in the world, eh Ems" I frown, I grab one of her bags, mum grabbing another,

"I'll get them" Red says, about to put Jamie down,

"You're hands are full" I smile, poking Jamie gently, "Aint you a cutie, eh" Why do adults turn into fucking idiots around kids? Honestly. He looks away bashfully before looking back and laughing,

"He likes you" Emily smiles,

"All kids love me" I say proudly,

"Hmm" She grins. "Where's mum?" She asks Katie,

"Oh she's gone out for a bit" I notice Red's disappointed look, and I feel sorry for her, "She won't be long" Katie says, oblivious to Red's hurt feelings.

The must be close.

"We're gonna take off" I say as mum waves to Emily,

"Oh, bye Gina, thanks for everything"

"No problem sweet, you're always welcome at my house" She smiles before getting into the car, she looks at me again after putting Jamie down, who scampers off inside following his mum.

"He's adorable, just like his Aunt" I grin, and she blushes, "Remember, I'm only a phone call away, you've my number, yeah?" She nods, "I'll see you soon" I take a step back, but she grabs my arm,

"What, no hug?" She grins, and I smile, wrapping my arms around her. She holds tightly, and I don't ever want to let go. But I know I have to, and in letting go, I won't see her for a while.

You get used to people you see every day, and I think its the prospect of not seeing them for a while that really makes you start to appreciate them more.

Let's face it, it's easy to take advantage when see them every single day isn't it?

"You'll be fine" I say as I step away, and she smiles,

"Thanks"

"Your welcome, and thanks to you also" She smiles, "Don't know what I'd have done without you..r help"

"No problem, really" She smiles, leaning in she kisses my cheek, "See you soon"

"Hopefully sooner" I grin, walking off.

I sit in the car and wave as Mum turns around, Emily stood waving as we're leaving, and stays until we aren't in sight anymore, "Such a lovely girl" Mum smiles, "I knew that place would do you some good"

"It's not the place mum"

"Without it, you wouldn't have met her" She pats me on the leg,

"I know, I know"


	17. Chapter 17

I've hijacked my mother's computer briefly to write this. I know it's been a while, and I'm a little rusty, but I'll get back into it.

My laptop should be fixed by Saturday… so depending on whether I'm going out, there should be an update!

Again, sorry for the wait!

Hope I don't disappoint!

***************

Chapter Seventeen

A deep breath leaves my lips as I primp my hair one more time. I don't know why I feel so nervous, those butterflies swirling round in my stomach make me feel a little queasy, but as Cook puts down another shot glass filled with vodka in front of me, I don't hesitate in necking it.

I've been to a thousand different parties in my time, Cook always near by making sure the drink and drugs are flowing and that I'm having a brill time. We always start the night in his dingy little flat. Getting ready, making ourselves look presentable so we can at least pull a decent looking lass. We always have a full bottle of vodka to hand, and that's usually empty before we leave, but tonight it's just not going down as well as it used to, "What's wrong with you?" He frowns at me as I take another look at myself in the mirror,

"Nothing… just been a while since I drank this stuff is all" I lie, well, technically I haven't drank the stuff, but that's not what's wrong with me.

I can't quite put my finger on it.

He shrugs off my lame attempt at silencing him and necks another shot. He places the nearly empty bottle on the desk in front of me as I start to apply my make-up.

I've gone for the messy look, my hair tousled, my jeans ripped, a baggy t-shirt hanging over my curves, but a tight waistcoat keeps them in check. As easy as it looks to get the perfect messy look, it is not.

I've damaged the atmosphere ten times over with the amount of hairspray I've used. At last I finally feel like its just right. "What you nervous for, you don't get nervous babe?"

"I really don't know"

"A few drinks down your neck will sort that" he smirks, I know he's right too. I nod and smile.

It doesn't take me long to put my make-up on and we're almost ready, "Two ticks, need to take a shit" Cook laughs and I roll my eyes, "What, you forgotten my daily routine?"

"The three S's? How could I?" I giggle, "Don't be fucking long, ok?" He grins as he closes the bathroom door behind him, "Light a match" I shout as an afterthought, giggling to myself, some things never change. I grab my phone out of my bag, quickly typing out a text, 'Sure you don't fancy Elite? Xx' I text Emily, waiting for a reply as I sit on the bed.

It doesn't take long before she replies, 'Some other time, have fun xx' I smile as I close my phone, putting it back in my bag. I grab one of Cook's fags, sparking up as I know he's gonna be in there for at least another ten minutes.

****

My nerves are slowly dissipating the closer we get to the club, Cook is in full spirits, dancing round the street like a chav without a care in the world, although I suppose that's what he is really.

Cook knows the bouncer so we get small amounts of abuse as we walk into the club from the long queue of people waiting outside.

I can't help but feel a little smug about that.

When Cook first told me about this new club called Elite, it sounded shit to be honest with you. Never thought it would last, but as I walk inside I'm surprised at the amount of people inside, saying it's only a Monday, and also the quality of the music.

The surprise intensifies as we make it to the bar and I see copious amounts of my favourite alcohol sitting behind the counter. Disaronno, Absolut, Jagermeister, Apple Sourz. The list is endless.

Naturally I get one of each spirit.

The barman lines them up in a row and it's a rather colourful display of liver poisoning liquids that makes my mouth water. Cook orders the same, with a smirk and our fists punching together we start downing all the shots.

I finish first.

"Bitch" Cook says as he pulls a face of utter disgust at the alcohol, and I laugh,

"Such a lightweight" I nudge him.

"Again" He shouts to the barman, and I giggle,

"James, you couldn't handle the first lot"

"I can handle it" he says, punching his chest and swallowing the large amount of saliva that has taken residence in his mouth.

Lightweight.

The barman lines up the next lot and I smile again, we punch fists and yet again I'm the first to finish. I grin proudly.

"I'm not drinking any of that anymore" he says, pointing at me and I giggle loudly,

"I'm quite pissed myself after that, phew" I say, and he laughs,

"Dance?"

"Lead the way James" I hold my hand out and he laughs, grabbing it, he directs our unsteady feet through the club and onto the dancefloor.

I couldn't tell you the name of the song, I've never heard it, but it's fucking awesome. Could be down to the alcohol we've just consumed. But as always the case with drunkards, the 'rhythm' attacks our heads first, then our arms flail up into the air and the rest of our body follows suit.

Pretty soon we're bouncing round like a bunch of retards on coke, banging into people, laughing our heads off, sweating like I've never sweated before. All in the name of good fun.

Although I get too hot, I grab Cook's arm, motioning to him that I'm going for a fag, he points to some door at the back of the building, and I see a large sigh saying 'Smoking Area', I nod and start making my way through the sea of people until I get outside. I take a deep breath as I stumble to the corner of the little area. I perch myself on the wooden fence as I fish through my bag trying to find my cigarette, "Bollocks" I say, to nobody at all, I've left them at Cooks.

"Here" Before I can even look to the source of the voice there is a fag thrust into my face, "I'm Alice" She says as she holds the lighter up to the end of my cigarette. I take a drag,

"Naomi" I hold my cig up and smile, "Thanks" She nods,

"Haven't seen you around here before?" She nods, getting closer to me, and I can't help but laugh,

"That's the same as asking me if I come here often, come on you can do better than that" I edge closer to her, and see a faint blush on her cheek.

I finally get a good look at her through the cloud of smoke that surrounds this area. She has long blonde hair, dirty blonde, with purple streaks throughout it. She's quite gothic in a way, and therefore sexy in my eyes. "Ok" She smirks, her blue eyes glistening through embarrassment, "I saw you necking those shots, impressive"

"A little better" I smile,

"Hey, I'm new at this"

"Never" My mouth opens wide as she laughs, "It's ok, I'll let you off. To answer your questions, Alice" I smile, "It's my first time here, I live here, but was a very naughty girl and got shipped off to boarding school in Scotland. It's half term and I'm out for the first time since August" She raises her eyebrows, "And yes, it was impressive me necking those shots, another thing that's gonna be impressive…"

"What's that?"

"My hangover tomorrow" She giggles.

"So what did you do?" I frown, "Boarding school"

"Oh… many a things…" I shrug, "I suppose the last straw for mother dearest was getting escorted home by the cops"

"Cool" She grins widely, moving closer. I flick my fag in the bin next to me,

"Wanna dance?" She nods, grabbing my outstretched hand, I grin as I guide her into the club. Looks like I've pulled.

Again the song isn't recognisable, but again it doesn't matter. It's got a decent beat, and as I'm dragging her onto the dance floor we're soon dancing more closely. The alcohol is kind of wearing off a little now, which I suppose is good, because there is nothing more attractive then a girl who can barely walk straight or continually looks straight through you…

The song slows, and I glance behind Alice and see Cook currently mid sex in the middle of the dance floor. I laugh, causing her to look behind to see the cause of the giggle, "A friend?" She shouts in my ear, and I nod, she laughs.

She's got some moves, I'll give her that. She leaned in to ask me about Cook, and hasn't really moved since then. Our faces are inches apart. Her arm is snaked around my back as my arms rest on her shoulders. The song changes to one I actually know. I raise my arms in the air and cheer at the sheer quality of the song, which causes Alice to giggle.

We've been dancing for a good hour or so now, and even though she was quick with the moves to start with, she seems to have slowed them down slightly. Meanwhile I'm almost sober now and thinking 'fuck it'.

Our eyes lock in the middle of the dancefloor, and I test her. I test to see if she's willing. She did say she was new to this. But her eyes don't falter, so as I lean in, I see a brief smile cross her lips.

Our lips touch and as our tongues delve I get an overwhelming taste of cherries.

It doesn't stop me, but it distracts me slightly.

I wouldn't say she's a fantastic kisser, she hasn't a particular skill to it, but she isn't the worst I've kissed, and without meaning to sound like a slag, I've kissed a few girls. It's pleasing, but I don't exactly want to rip her clothes off right now and have my wicked way with her.

Won't stop me doing just that later on though.

What? I'm young free and single.

I, however, am the first to pull away. She frowns, but as my hand lifts up and motions to her that I want a drink, she nods. We walk to the bar and I order a double vodka and redbull. She orders the same. I'm about to pay when she hands the barman a twenty. I smile and nod. I lean in, whispering in her ear that I'm just going to the toilet. She nods, waiting for the drinks and the change. I look for signs to the toilets, and after about a minute or so I finally see one.

Brushing past about a hundred people just to go relieve myself isn't the best part of the evening, but as I get into the toilets, at least there isn't a queue. I do my business, and just as I'm about to leave the stall my phone rings. I open the door as I'm reaching in my bag to answer it.

But almost as soon as I'm opening the door and walking through it, I'm being shoved back into the stall by Alice. "What the-" I don't have time to finish my sentence before she starts attacking my lips with hers.

Hardly the best come on I've had, but hey, it's been a while, I'll take it.

She's eager with her hands, a little clumsy, but what more do you expect in a toilet cubicle?

Her hands reach round the front of me, unbuttoning my waistcoat. My hands are fiddling with the back of her dress. She takes my waistcoat off with ease and now throws my t-shirt off and onto the floor. Ew.

I let that thought go as her hands run through my hair, ruffling it with her fingers, scratching my scalp with her fingernails. Even though my eyes are closed I feel them roll, I feel a slight groan fall out of my mouth and into hers. Something which satisfies her.

I hear my phone ringing again in my bag. I groan with annoyance, Alice breaks away from the kiss, "Ignore it"

"I can't, just let me see-"

"Just ignore it" She says, getting frustrated,

"Naomi?" I hear a familiar voice in the bathroom, and I panic, "Naomi, is that you?"

************


	18. Chapter 18

I'm back!!!

*Touches wood* My laptop is working... so regular updates will now ensue!

Thank you for the comments and for waiting for the next chapters! Hopefully I'll be back on track now!

**************

Chapter Eighteen

Her voice sounded desperate almost. As if she'd been searching for me for a while.

I knew exactly who it was from the way she said my name. Some people you can tell, without even seeing them, exactly who they are by the way they call you.

I didn't hesitate in stopping Alice from kissing me, but I did hesitate in opening the door. "What are you doing?" Alice said quietly as I unlocked the cubicle door and opened it briefly,

"Gotta go, sorry" She frowned heavily, but I simply looked away and walked outside sheepishly, "Emily, what are you doing here?"

"Who's in there with you?" She asks,

"Nobody"

"Always speak so highly of people your halfway through fucking do you?" She says, her voice full of distain, so much so that I don't quite know how to handle it, so I do the best that I can possibly do,

"That's none of your business" I get defensive. She laughs.

"None of my business, right, I'll remember that" Her tongue peaks out, connecting with her upper lip.

"What's going on?"

"Taking up my offer of a night out" She shrugs, "Although if I knew you were so busy, I wouldn't have bothered" Alice chooses this opportune moment to leave the bathroom stall. Her sheepish smile is replaced with a look of sheer confusion, I roll my eyes at the endless scenarios that could come because of this predicament.

"Who are you?" She asks, and I shake the sudden need to slap her silly and just growl quietly,

"Can you leave us please?" I say, my teeth gritting as I say this,

"With pleasure" She walks out of the bathroom, and all I am faced with is silence, an extremely awkward silence which chills me slightly.

"Didn't take you long"

"What the fuck is going on, Emily?" I ask, and she jumps slightly at my raised voice.

"Nothing"

"Look, as far as I'm concerned we're friends, your fucking that girl in school anyway so why are you acting like a jealous fucking girlfriend?"

"I am not jealous" She points her finger at me, "I just thought you wanted me to come out tonight" The last part of that statement isn't as assured as the first,

"Well as far as I'm concerned you weren't coming out, what am I supposed to do? Mope around all night because you couldn't make it?"

"I text you" She says, realising she's on a losing battle, I laugh,

"Have you heard how loud the music is, as if I'd have heard my phone going off" I take a deep breath realising that possibly having a go isn't the best thing to do right now, "I'm sorry" I say, shaking my head and walking towards her, "you caught me at a bad moment" She nods, "I wasn't expecting you"

"Evidently"

"First of all, I'm out with Cook, who I haven't seen for ages... my oldest friend... I'm not about to ditch him for my school roommate who I see all the time, got it?" She nods, "So don't get all territorial on me, because I can't fucking stand it ok?"

"Right so you're willing to ditch him for a complete stranger just so you can get a quick fuck?"

"That's our normal night Emily" I growl, "Christ"

"Sorry, forgot" She's not sorry, not one bit,

"Look, either you tell me what the fuck is going on or I will walk out of here and leave you to it" I hesitate, waiting for a good couple of minutes as she bows her head and doesn't speak. The music thumping away outside that door, and every ounce of me wants to stay and help her, but I know I should leave, I know I should call her bluff.

So I do. "See you at school, Red" I go back to my indifferent name for her. The name I used when I couldn't care less about her, or tried to convince myself I didn't, the name when she was just a red headed girl that happened to be in the same room.

I know it's heartless, because she's no longer this red headed girl to me, she is so much more than that, and I know that she's keeping something from me, and I fear the only way that I can get that out of her, is to show her that I don't care.

Regardless of what she's done to me, she needs a little 'tough love'. The phrase my mother used when she first propositioned me with boarding school. I walk towards the door, not expecting anything, but hoping, hoping to hear that one word that will salvage anything from this evening. "Wait" And I hear it. I stop in my tracks, slowly turning around I see a broken red head, and I can't stop myself from walking over to her and holding her.

"Talk to me, please" She's hesitant at first, she doesn't hold me, she just quietly sobs on my shoulder,

"I can't"

"Emily, please" I say again, my arms wrapped around her, holding her close.

"Can we get out of here?" She says, and I nod,

"Sure"

********

It's a quiet walk to my house. The only place where I know we won't be disturbed.

She's withdrawn, barely the person she was when we first met. Barely shy, barely anything but quiet and broken.

I open the door, waiting for her to walk in before I close it after me. I feel a little nervous at the prospect of what's coming, but I don't fester over it. I lock the door behind me. I turn slowly and see that she's stood looking at me.

The first time she's looked me square in the eye all night. "Em?" I say quietly. She shakes her head, taking a step toward me. I feel my heart in my throat as she lifts her hand up to my face. "Emily" I breathe out as my eyes flutter when she tenderly strokes the side of my face with her fingertips.

I instinctively close my eyes when she continues to brush my cheek diligently. I feel her warm breath against my lips, causing my eyes to burst open. She's moving in, and even though every ounce of me wants her to, I need to stop her. I grab her hand that was on my cheek and pull it down slowly, she's looking at me precariously now, a slight frown on her beautiful face, "No" I shake my head. She takes a step back, but I keep hold of her hand, stopping her from going anywhere. I shake my head again as I see her eyes retreating. "What's happened?"

"Nothing" She says, shaking her head, her voice barely above a whisper, yet the way she says 'nothing', well, it's not nothing it is definitely something. I give her hand a squeeze, letting her know that I'm not going anywhere. She takes a deep breath, "It's pathetic" She laughs at herself, shaking her head now,

"I'm sure it's not" I walk over to the couch, pulling her with me, she sits down next to me.

"I thought that maybe being away, would change something. I thought that they'd miss me..." She sighs, "They still don't know that I exist"

"They do" I smile encouragingly, now she laughs again,

"I've been home a day, not one of them have asked how I'm getting on at school or anything like that, to be completely honest they've barely had one conversation with me. They won't even know I've gone anywhere" I don't know what to say to that... so I squeeze her hand gently again, chastising myself for being completely useless in situations like this, "So rather than sit at home and be ignored... I thought I'd come here... somewhere I'm wanted, but you were busy" She raises her eyebrow,

"It wasn't like that" I shake my head,

"I know"

"I'd pick you over any skank I pick up in a bar any day" I smile, realising that isn't much of a compliment,

"That's reassuring" She giggles slightly,

"Ok, I'll rephrase that, I would rather spend the evening with you than have a meaningless shag with somebody" I laugh, "And coming from me, that is possibly the best compliment you could get, you've heard about my reputation right?" I nudge her, and she laughs,

"Yeah, and experienced it" She looks up and smiles seductively at me, I grin,

"There you are" She blushes, and I feel my insides twist and turn, I feel my heart almost explode. What is it with this girl? "I have an idea" She looks up at me, her flourishing cheeks dying down a little, "Stay here"

"Haven't you had enough of me...?" She says smiling, but I don't think it's meant as a joke,

"Nah, not yet" I grin, "Look, you say you're ignored at home, you won't be here, I can promise you that. Mum's already said she loves you" I giggle, "She won't mind"

"I haven't got any stuff"

"I've plenty of clothes, we've a spare toothbrush in the bathroom... that's all you need" I smile, "If you don't want to that's fine"

"Sounds great" I conceal my excitement with an ultra cool nod. God I'm screwed. "Your mum won't mind will she?"

"Nah, she'd be happy to have you"

"Thanks, just if you get bored of me, tell me and I'll leave"

"Jesus" I laugh, "Remember, confidence is key" I smirk, and she blushes again, "What's happened to you, all the work I did" I nudge her again. She nudges me back,

"Sorry, I'm out of my comfort zone"

**********

We'd left the club pretty late, but we still stayed up talking. I honestly don't know how we do it, we spend every minute together at school, we share the same room, and now she's staying with me over half term, and yet we still don't run out of things to talk about. We're chatting away like a bunch of idiots, laughing and joking the night away.

"Opera, you are fucking joking" I laugh,

"What?" She opens her mouth wide with shock, "You don't like opera?"

"I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan" I giggle, "Wouldn't peg you as one either"

"I like all kinds of music, just so happens there are some good songs out there that happen to be operatic"

"Like what? I'm intrigued"

"Oh, I love Sarah Brightman, and there was phase I went through where I would watch Phantom of the Opera on a daily basis"

"Oh my god"

"That is a brilliant film" She crosses her arms in defiance, "Stop taking the piss"

"I can't help it..." I carry on laughing, my eyes closing as I'm picturing her singing along to some opera song, then suddenly a pillow is thrust in my face, stopping my laughing instantly, "Bitch" I shout, throwing it back at her, and she laughs, before promptly smacking me in the face with it again, "You know, as soft as it looks, it actually fucking hurts when being hit in the face with it, especially when the zip hits you on the nose" She holds her hands up in defence as I pretend to throw it, but her laughter gets the best of her and her head falls back against the couch, I take this opportune moment to pounce on her. Her laughter stops and in its place shock. Until she starts laughing, "You think you're pretty fucking funny eh?" I grin,

"No, it's not that" She gets out through the laughter, before taking a few breaths calming herself down. Her arm lifts up and touches the end of my nose, "You have a slight scratch on your nose"

"That better not still be there tomorrow" I frown, trying to look at the end of my nose, therefore going bog eyed, thus making her laugh even more,

"Poor baby" She pouts, and before I can come up with some witty, sarcastic come back, she leans up and kisses the end of my nose.

I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, one by one. It's almost as if it were in slow motion as she lowers her head back down, her now darkened eyes staring up at me.

She takes her lip between her teeth and smiles bashfully, "Better" She says, her voice so deep, so husky that I feel a twinge between my legs. She shuffles slightly beneath me. My legs that are propping me up give way and I fall on top of her, feeling her small frame beneath me. She groans a little at the contact, but our eyes don't leave each other.

My arms are still holding my top half up above her. She licks her lips, and I want nothing more than to lean down and capture them. "What are you thinking?" I ask, licking my lips.

I don't know why I'm asking this, I have absolutely no clue as to why those words have slipped out of my mouth, rather than her tongue slipping into it. There's just something about her that amazes me, confuses me and completely messes with me at the same time.

My confidence with any other girl would shine through right now, but the nervousness starts in my stomach, spreading through my body and inevitably ending in my brain, causing me to let out the most stupid questions, questions that could possibly ruin moments like these. Moments of sheer chemistry.

"I'm thinking..." She smirks, that blush showing up, "I'm thinking..."

"What?" I ask, getting impatient,

"Just fucking kiss me already"

******************


	19. Chapter 19

I'm not fishing for compliments when I say this, but I really am no good at writing the sex and smutty stuff so forgive me!

Plus this one is all about the sex and smuttyness... call it an attempt at an apology for the lack of updates over the past fortnight.

Hope it's ok.

Once again thank you for the brilliant comments, love you guys!!

Oh, extreme rating btw...

************

Chapter Nineteen

A smile fills my face as I lean down, capturing those luscious lips that I dream of constantly. I feel a bolt of electricity flow through me as she kisses me back, those luscious lips kissing back, relinquishing every single doubt that I had in my mind. The doubts of us, of me, of her... they're gone, and in their place... well her lips and tongue.

I haven't felt anything quite like it before. The rush of my heart, the sharpness of my hairs standing on end, that feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one you can't quite describe giving it all the justice that feeling simply needs. Almost like nerves, entangling round the organ, twisting, grinding, squeezing, yet at the same time it's a feeling that you'll never tire of, a feeling that you would give anything to feel every day,

A feeling that just makes you want to smile, splitting your face in half.

Imagine that feeling, and multiply it by a thousand and you would have a small idea of how I'm feeling right now. Somehow overwhelmed doesn't quite cover it.

Those small whimpers that I'm almost certain she isn't aware of leaves her mouth. Echoing through the room, and more importantly, through me. Her hands delve into my tousled hair, gripping, pulling slightly, but I don't complain, it only heightens my arousal. My arms that were propping me up cave, pressing my body fully into hers, feeling every dip, every curve, every crevice.

I could spend forever like this.

I know it's happened before, I know we've done the dirty once, but somehow this time it just seems so much more, much, much more. And we're only kissing.

We get a little too passionate, the oxygen draining from my body, as much as I'd rather pass out from this devouring kiss, I need air. I pull away, lifting my head up I look at her, I study her.

Her eyes are still closed, her lips still slightly pouty. Yet the next thing that happens really brings all these feelings home for me.

A simple act, something people do every single day. My feelings flash through me in a blink of an eye, literally.

Almost in slow motion, her eyes open, her pouty lips open slightly, revealing her white teeth. She takes a shallow breath before her lips spread into a broad grin. A smile that leads straight up to her eyes, engulfing her in happiness, happiness that flows through me, flowing through my body and landing right at my heart, making it expand, causing it to be bigger than it's ever been, and at the same time, the most fragile it's ever been.

Even I feel my smile falter, our eye contact which was iron clad is now weak. My eyes flutter away, and only returning to hers briefly to see disappointment and embarrassment.

My arms regain their power, pushing myself off her, "I'm sorry" I know I said it, but it didn't sound like me, my voice void of all its courage, all its strength, I hear myself running.

I look into her eyes and all that happiness has vanished, and in its place... hurt, pain.

I can't explain how much I hate myself right now.

I push myself off her fully, sitting at the very end of the sofa, almost curling myself into a ball. She doesn't move. Her hands lie lifelessly beside her as she plucks up the courage to sit up.

Eventually she does, and I look at her, feeling so full of sorrow and self pity that I don't know what to do with myself, or her for that matter. "Maybe I should go"

Now I panic, "No, please" I say, saying it quicker than I dared to. She seems shocked at my reaction, "Look, can we just forget about it?"

"I don't think so" She shakes her head,

"Emily, please" I plead, "I just don't think it's a good idea" Silence fills the room, a silence filled with anguish that neither of us dare confess to, but both knowing it's there.

"I know..." She says, taking a deep breath, "We're friends"

"Yeah"

"Nothing more, nothing less" I don't answer. "Maybe I should go home"

"Emily..." I sigh, "Can we just call that exactly what it is?" She raises her eyebrow, "Alcohol and emotion" She nods slowly. I hate myself more. "I don't know if it means anything to you but... you're my best friend" I feel myself shy away, "You really are. You understand me, more than anybody has, you care... I'm comfortable with you, I feel like I can talk to you about anything" Apart from this, "I just don't want to ruin anything"

"I'm here Naomi... you won't ruin anything" she sits up fully, grabbing my hand she places it in her lap. "I know what you've been through..." She starts softly, "I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere" She smiles, lifting my hand up she kisses my hand. Her lips linger, and I want so much to just throw her back on the couch and finish what we started, but I don't, I stop myself.

I commend myself for my restraint, but condemn myself for it at the same time.

"Where am I sleeping, I'm kinda tired?" She says, while yawning,

"Well we've got a spare room... but-" I giggle, "It's full of shit and will need emptying"

"I'll sleep down here"

"No, you can have my bed, I'll sleep here" She shakes her head firmly.

"Share?" She asks, and I nod, smiling softly.

"Ok"

****

I feel a little self conscious, so after Emily finishes in the bathroom I take my extra large t-shirt that I sleep in with me, as well as washing my face and brushing my teeth I change in the bathroom.

As I walk out, switching all the lights out after me I walk into my room. Emily lying on my bed under the covers, she's leaning on her elbow and watches as I enter the room. The lamp is beside her, so she waits until I climb into bed before turning it off.

The room is silent, the only sound that is heard is our breaths. I turn over, my back facing her, my eyes looking at something still, trying to quieten my raging mind. "Night" She says softly. I hear her shuffle beside me,

"Night"

I can't sleep. My eyes throb from tiredness, but I can't sleep. I hear her breathing even as I assume she's asleep. I sigh heavily, fidgeting in the bed, struggling to get to sleep. My back is still facing her as I feel sleep finally overcome me. My thoughts still, my mind clears and I take one final sigh before I finally feel the darkness take over me.

That is until I'm shocked out of it. I feel her hand skim up my leg, brushing up my thigh and resting on my side. I breath hitches, not at the shock, but at how fucking turned on I am now. "Naomi" I hear her say softly. I'm not sure if she's sleeping and is just a snuggler, so I turn, and with the smallest amount of light possible in the room I see that she isn't asleep. Her eyes sparkle in the darkness.

"Em-" She shushes me gently,

"It won't change anything..." She whispers, breaking the silence once more, "I promise..." I stare into her eyes and I see her avert them briefly, "I just need you right now"

"Ok" I say. Slowly moving closer to her. The brief light provided by the moon shines against her perfect skin, making her glow. Fuck she is beautiful. My fingers lift up and gently stroke down her cheek, she breathes into my hand, her breath uneven, but steady at the same time.

We're so close that her shallow breaths are blowing into my mouth. I feel my eyes roll back into my head as I no longer have the willpower to stay away from her anymore. I close the gap, making her jump slightly. Her mouth stalls as my lips press firmly but gently against hers. I feel her hand clasp at my waist, and her other hand reach for my neck. My arm drapes around her back, pulling her body close to mine.

The kiss is slow, deep, absolutely amazing. Her tongue fits perfectly with mine. Both the muscles fight for dominance but both are fighting a losing battle.

Those little moans appear again, making me crazy. She somehow pulls herself on top of me. Her hips pressing down firmly into mine. I groan as I feel myself get that little bit more turned on.

Both my hands wrap around her, finding residence on her lower back, scratching slightly as the kisses intensify.

She sneakily pushes her leg between my two, pushing up against my throbbing centre. Aching for her to touch me more intimately, rather than engage in soft core porn status, but at this moment in time, I'd settle for anything from her.

I feel her hips buck, grinding, her body writhing above mine slowly, lazily. Her leg pushes further and further up against me, and I feel myself get all the more wet.

Fuck I want her so much.

I roll over, making sure I'm on top. I hover above her, looking her deep in the eyes in this darkness.

It's funny how you see more in darkness than in broad daylight.

I push the quilt off us and onto the floor. I lift her t-shirt up, pulling it over her head and throwing it aside. I kiss along her collarbone, my lips moving down, tasting her pale skin, tasting as much as I can. I cup her breast, my lips encasing her hardened nipple, sucking gently. My tongue circles it, her chest rising and falling faster with each motion. I move further down, my tongue kissing her stomach, feeling the goosebumps rise with each kiss.

I run my fingers underneath her underwear, pulling it slightly, but not so much that I'd hurt. I hear her deep breaths and hear her gulp loudly.

My hand rubs over her centre, feeling how much she wants me, even through a barrier. She whimpers, but takes her lip between her teeth. I slowly pull down her underwear, pulling it off her feet. I grab her foot and kiss up from her ankle up until her inner thigh.

Her breathing is barely there now as I bury my face where she so desperately craves me to. With a resounding guttural groan my tongue pushes against her swollen nub.

I taste how wet she is, taste how much she wants me, and I feel my own wetness grow tenfold. Her hands clasp at the bed sheets as I remember... flick, flick, flick. Her breathing intensifies even more, until again it's almost gone. She's stifling her moans, oh how I wish she wouldn't, but at the same time appreciate that she is.

I feel that she's close. I feel her body twitch slightly. So I stop. I want to see her. I climb back up the bed, lowering my body onto hers slowly and gently. She seems confused, but my arm reaches down, running through her wet folds. Her eyes roll back before being closed forcefully.

I find where I want to be, pushing two fingers inside of her, her body arches up into mine, pushing my hand into my centre, almost making me buckle at the unexpected pleasure of that. I grind against my hand, pushing inside her deeper, further, faster. I feel the layer or sweat on her forehead as I press mine against hers.

Our breathing become one as we're both so close. She writhes beneath me as my fingers pump away inside of her. Her eyebrows creasing.

I feel the verge of the eruption. I feel my heart stop, before pounding furiously. I take this opportunity to kiss her deeply. She stumbles with the kiss as I bend my fingers upwards. Her body arching once again. With another bend I feel her walls clamp down around my fingers, and in feeling that, my own walls cave in.

She suppresses the orgasm, rather than coming in moans and screams, it comes in breaths and spurts. Obviously wary of waking my mother. Her eyes are clamped shut, but I still watch. Fascinated.

Amazed, and completely and emphatically in love with this beautiful girl currently unhinged beneath me.

*****************

Told you. Lol =]


	20. Chapter 20

This chapter is, well, for a lack of a better word, shit.

I've got a lot on my mind so my apologies for the shitness of this.

I'm so glad you all like the last chapter, raising my confidence a lot! Thanks you guys.

I'm not just saying this but I look forward to every morning when I wake and check this to see who's commented and read what you've all put. Really does put the biggest smile on my face.

As always you guys are awesome! Keep commenting please, if only to make me smile =]

************

Chapter Twenty

I feel myself panic as soon as that thought crosses my mind. I feel myself pull away, gently pushing myself off her and lying beside her.

Our breaths are still shallow and erratic, filling the silence in the room. I feel myself pull away from her. I feel my body turn its back to her, my eyes staring at the walls in the room.

I can't be in love with her. I can't be. I barely know her.

No, that's not true. She's Emily. She's Red. I know everything I need to know about her. From the colour of her eyes, to that adorable blush that takes over her most of the time, her love of opera, to her low tolerance for alcohol.

Besides from those basic things that anybody can find out within five minutes of knowing her, I also know that when she's nervous she fiddles with her thumbs. She has an annoying habit of fiddling with her hair when she's bored, or just thinking.

She snores.

Not the kind of fog horn snore, but a cute little moan... adorable really. She doesn't like being upset in front of people, in fact she will go out of her way to make sure that she doesn't seem upset. Although as always the case with her, her eyes give it away. They don't have that sparkle to them like they usually do. That sparkle that intensifies if she's mischievous, dims slightly when she's angry. Yet when she's happy it's not just her eyes that glow, it's her entire body. She beams.

She's mysterious, yet at the same time, one glance from her and you know exactly what she's thinking or what she's about to say, but it's never predictable.

She is extremely clever, but she never shoves it in your face, she never makes herself seem more superior, even though she probably is. In fact, she dumbs herself down most of the time.

"What are you thinking about?" Her croaky voice breaks the silence,

"You" Is my simple reply.

"Me?" Her voice raises slightly, and I know straight away that was a panic in her voice. I turn over, looking at her through the slight moonlight.

"Yeah"

"What about me"

"Nothing bad" I smirk, but the smirk fades, and in its place, questions, "What just happened?"

"Erm... you were there" She chuckles,

"Don't do that" I say softly, she sighs,

"I don't know what to say"

"It doesn't matter" I say quietly before turning back around. I feel sleep coming, my eyes getting heavy.

"Naomi" She says softly,

"Hmm"

"You sleeping?"

"Not anymore" I hear her giggle softly,

"I don't know what happened" she starts, "I wanted to kiss you... and it just went on from there"

"Why did you want to kiss me?" I hear her take a breath, but then she lets it go, she takes another breath,

"I..." And lets it go again, "You've..." She takes a breath, "I don't know" I roll my eyes, "I'm sorry, I really don't know why... it's just you've been a great friend... and I don't know, I just wanted to kiss you..."

"Right"

"Don't be mad"

"I'm not mad, I'm just tired" I say quickly,

"Ok" She shuffles. Her back against mine slightly and I feel a great sense of regret fill my stomach. "Night"

"Night"

*****

The morning sun fills my room with warmth as I stir from my deep sleep. As I lift my arms above my head and stretch my legs, filling the eerily quiet room with my pleased groans and the cracking of my joints, memories of the previous night flush through my mind.

My hazy eyes look beside me and at the beautiful sleeping girl. Her arm is lifted up slightly, resting on the pillow beneath her head. Her hair is ruffled in that sexy sleepy way, her other arm is out of the quilt and rests on her stomach.

I can't tear my eyes away from her.

I have to practically hold my hand down as it wants so much to push that strand of hair that is on her face and place it behind her ear, but I resist. My eyes running over her beautiful complexion, god she is stunning. Her gorgeous pale skin even paler against her vibrant red hair. Her perfectly groomed eyebrows and her small but pouty lips.

I feel my heart fill with pure love as I look at her stunning unconscious form next to me. "Stop watching me sleep, you're creeping me out" Shit.

"Shit, sorry" I lie back down, my head connecting with the pillow so fast that my neck cracks, I turn and look at her and see she's smiling. "How long have you been awake?"

"About a minute" She finally opens her eyes, before covering them quickly with her hands, "Jesus, ever heard of curtains?"

"So over rated" I wave my hand, and she smiles.

"What time is it?" She sits up, her tired eyes a little swollen, I glance to the clock beside me,

"A little after 9"

"What are we doing awake?" She groans, pulling the covers over her head, "It's early"

"Go back to sleep, I'm getting up" I say, swinging my legs round the side of the bed. My feet touching the coldness of the wooden floor making me jump a little.

"I can't sleep in if you're getting up" She sits up,

"Course you can"

"I'll get up" she sits up, sleep still evident in her. "Can I take a shower?" I nod,

"Sure, I'm gonna get a coffee, want one?"

"Thanks, won't be long" To anybody watching this early morning scene, they would assume everything was ok, but we know that's far from the truth.

It's weird. It's awkward. Neither of us have looked at each other properly, it's been glances, all of which haven't even remotely came close to looking each other in the eye.

This is going to be fun.

****

"Morning sweet"

"Morning mum" I say, walking into the kitchen while scratching my head,

"You're up early"

"Hmm" I agree, too fucking early to be fair.

"So Emily stayed last night" She says nonchalantly, taking a sip of her coffee. The panic evident in me as I practically jump out of my skin when she says this, "I'm not deaf" Now I cringe,

"Mum" I warn,

"What?" She has a smirk on her face which I would love to wipe off, but can't as you know, she's my mother. "Vast improvement to the other ladies you've brought home over the years love"

"Just... shut up will you"

"Ok"

"Actually" I start and listen to see if the shower's still running, "I need to talk to you about something, if you'll just not be-" My hands lift up slightly, "Weird"

"I'm never weird" I ignore that and sit down at the table.

"It's weird" She frowns, "Emily and I"

"Why?"

"We're friends... the only one I've been friends with before-" She holds her hand up, stopping me,

"I know..." It's still hard for both of us, but I smile sadly, as does she, "What are you scared of love?"

"Her"

"Why?"

"I've never felt this way before..."

"Never?" She raises her eyebrow, "Wow"

"Mother" I warn again, and she shrugs,

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me what to do"

"I can't tell you what to do love..." She takes another sip of her coffee, "But I will say one thing" She lifts her hand up, cupping my face, "I've got my daughter back" She says with a big smile, "So if I were you, whatever has changed, and we both know what that is, I'd keep it" she lowers her hand, "Or at least do anything in my power to keep it"

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do though"

"You will" She smiles smugly, like she knows everything in the world, and isn't willing to share. She so knows what I've got to do, but is just being a bitch... I'll hold it against her if it all goes wrong, mark my words.

I get up and make two coffees, not pouring Emily's, but sitting back at the table I grab the paper from my mum, when she opens her mouth to say something I stick my tongue out at her and start reading it.

She doesn't argue she just lets me have it. "Anyway sweet" She stands up, putting her cup in the sink, "Some of us have better places to be" She leans down and kisses my head, "Tell Emily she is more than welcome to stay the rest of the week, and I'll see you two at about 6, be good" She warns and I smile,

"Mum" I stop her as she's walking out of the kitchen, "Thanks"

"Anytime my love" She blows me a kiss, "See you later" I wave at her and read the first few pages of the paper before getting up and putting some toast in.

"That's better" I hear Emily as she walks into the kitchen,

"Good shower"

"The best"

"Toast?"

"Sure" She walks over to the cup of coffee I made her and flicks the kettle on. She leans back against the counter and looks at me as I'm staring at the toaster. For no reason other than to avoid awkward eye contact with the gorgeous wet red head stood next to me right now.

I feel her eyes burning my skin as she's watching me. My thoughts run back to the previous night where I had her quaking beneath me. My heart races and my mouth becomes drier than cotton.

Fuck, what is she doing to me?

"Bollocks" I shout as the toaster pops the toast up and succeeds in scaring the living shit out of me, much to the amusement of Emily. I take the toast out, putting the bottom of it against the counter and making the toast stand so that it is in an upside down 'v' shape.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asks as I pop two more slices in for her.

"What?" I look at her quickly before looking away. My nervousness and bashfulness get the better of me.

"Why are you putting the toast like that?"

"I hate hot toast, I love cold toast and then butter spread on thickly." I shrug. "Luscious"

"Noted" I bet she's smirking. I look at her, and yes, she is. "What's going on?"

"Nothing" Hell, even I didn't believe that,

"Don't lie"

"Honestly, everything's fine"

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"I am"

"Naomi" Oh, she's warning me now, "Why are you acting weird?"

"I'm not"

"You are" Her voice raises slightly, "Is it about last night?" I pause, "That's a yes"

"No it's not" I say quietly, my eyes still staring at the toaster, where the fuck has my confidence gone? Please, come back anytime now?

"Naomi" She says softly, I see her approaching me out of the corner of my eye, "Look at me" She demands as her hand grabs my arm gently, but I flinch, moving away from her. "What? You can't bear me touching you now?"

"No, it's not that at all" I sigh, jumping again as Emily's toast pops up,

"Please, talk to me..."

"I meant what I said... You're my best friend" I say, having no idea what significance that has at all,

"I know" She says softly,

"Best friends generally don't have sex" I look at her finally, and she's looking down,

"You regret it?"

"No"

"It was a mistake?"

"No"

"What then?"

"I just don't understand what's going on... are we friends? Are we fuck buddies, what? I just don't understand"

"We're friends" She says, now looking away, "Who just so happen to have had sex, twice"

"Right... got ya"

"Now you're mad"

"I'm not mad" I snap,

"She hissed" Now I roll my eyes,

"Ok, I'm mad."

"I thought you of all people would understand this"

"Why me?"

"You know... cause you've slept-"

"Right, cause I'm a slag I'm ok with being used by someone, ok, got it"

"It's not like that at all, Noami" She sighs, approaching me again, but I walk away, "I didn't use you"

"Ok, answer me this then."

"Ok"

"What happens if we go out tonight and I meet up with that girl I ditched for you last night? What happens if I bring her back here and you have to sleep on the couch?"

"Nothing" She looks to the floor,

"So you wouldn't mind if I did that? You wouldn't care that last night I was fucking you, and tonight I'm fucking someone else?"

"N-no"

"Careful there, not sounding so sure"

"What the fuck do you want me to say?"

"What you're fucking thinking for a change rather than what you think you _should_ say"

"You wanna know what I'm thinking?"

"Yes, I do"

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Fine..."

*********

Hehe.


	21. Chapter 21

Ok, so I realise I was majorly cruel yesterday in leaving it like that... but in my defence, I was in a mean mood =P.

This is only an extremely short one as I'm exhausted, been one hell of a day and I'm not in a mean mood so leaving it like that for another day just isn't an option.

I'm not so sure about this one, but I'll let you lot be the judge. Just so you know, angst is a coming!

P.S. After the day I had yesterday your comments and reviews really made up for it so thank you so much for cheering me up! I really needed it. =]

************

Chapter Twenty One

"Fine..." She shouts, her hands lifting in the air in defeat. She looks at me, her eyes pained, her face distorted slightly,

"When you're ready" I say as it's been a good two or three minutes since she last spoke,

"Doesn't matter" She says, pushing off the counter and walking away, but I grab her, stopping her, she fuses her feet to the floor, her back to me, her arm in my hand,

"Emily" I say quietly, her body slowly turning around to mine, her eyes looking at the floor. My free hand lifts up, pushing her chin up gently so that those eyes look at me, "What are you so scared of?"

"Losing you" I frown, and she laughs, "You're the first real friend I've ever had. All the other's have just been friends with me simply because I'm Katie's twin. They never cared. You do"

"Yeah, I do"

"I'm not used to it. Don't you get it? I'm confused as hell" She says, losing her patience, "You confuse the fuck out of me" I frown, but don't interrupt, "You sit there asking me to tell you how I feel, what I'm thinking, whatever but what you don't understand is I don't know what I'm feeling, I don't know what to think, all of this is new to me, you, sex, everything, I haven't had chance to catch my breath and you're getting mad at me because I can't give you an answer. I wish I had a fucking answer"

"I'm not getting mad"

"You are" She shouts, startling me slightly,

"Ok, I was, but I thought you were just playing me"

"Playing you?" She laughs loudly, "I don't even know how to fucking play somebody Naomi"

"I'm sorry"

"No" She takes a deep breath, calming herself down, "I'm sorry" She takes a step towards me, "I just don't know if what I'm feeling for you is friendship, or if it's more. I'm new to all of this"

"What we did last night... wasn't friendship"

"I know..."

"Talk to me, Em" I take a step forward, pleading with her, "Just talk to me, that's all I ask, just tell me what's on your mind"

"You are... always... I had to come and see you last night, I couldn't stop thinking about you" She frowns, closing her eyes, "Then when I found you... it hurt me. It really did. You were with that girl, and I don't know, I just felt it here" She says, her hand lifting up and pressing down on her heart. Her eyes still closed, "It wasn't a good feeling" I open my mouth to speak, to apologise, to reason with her, but she carries on, "Then when we got here, and we were completely alone I'd forgotten about it. You were there for me, you were a friend and I just really, really wanted to kiss you. It's kind of like an addiction, you know... I felt like I couldn't resist kissing you, I just had to have you, even briefly. You don't understand how hard it was for me not to kiss you after the first time we slept together. It took so much for me to just ignore those feelings"

"And now?" She opens her eyes, a tear falls down her cheek, and I feel myself take a sharp breath as her eyes fill,

"I'm not strong enough to ignore them anymore"

"I don't think it's friendship" I smile, as does she,

"Me neither" She takes a step toward me, our faces barely inches apart, she presses her forehead against mine, her shaky breath brushes against my skin, "Why do you have to be so... so..." She struggles, "You" I laugh briefly,

"I can't help it" She giggles, her eyes closing I reach down and capture her lips. I feel her smile into the kiss, making my heart pound furiously.

It's not a desperate kiss, it's not a sex fuelled kiss, I don't know what kind of kiss it is, but I like it.

We don't stay long in this embrace, pulling away I take in the beauty before me, knowing that I'm not falling for this girl, I've fallen for her. Big, big style. "What happens now?" She asks, and I shrug,

"I'm not sure"

"How about" She bites her lip, "We don't put a label on it... just see where it leads us?" I smile,

"Sounds good to me" I lean in and kiss her quickly before grabbing my now extremely cold toast and buttering it, "Looks like you'll get to try my cold toast" I smirk as I grab hers out of the toaster, layering thick amounts of butter on and passing her a slice. She turns her nose up at it, but takes a bite nonetheless, her nose slowly gets back to normality and she nods slightly,

"Good" She smirks, "But I still like mine hot"

"We'll see" I smile, taking a bite of mine. The next half an hour is spent in silence, Emily flicking through a magazine that my mum's got, while I'm reading the paper. My phone rings from the other side of the room. I run up and answer it, "Lo" I say quickly,

"Naomikins, party" I roll my eyes,

"Morning Cook, I'm good thanks for asking"

"funny twat, you coming or what?"

"It's like... 10 in the morning"

"So?" He says, and I giggle,

"Not today Cookie"

"Ok, I'm coming round then"

"No, no, don't come round" I turn and look at Emily who's frowning,

"I need to know the details Naoms" I can hear him smirking, "Or is she still there?"

"Who?"

"That lass you took to the toilets last night, you bolted after that"

"Oh, no I ditched her"

"Where'd you go?"

"I can't talk about that right now" I smirk, as does Emily,

"You cannot say that"

"I gotta go Cook, speak to you soon" I hang up, laughing, "He'll be round in about ten minutes now" I nod,

"I don't mind him being round you know, I actually like him"

"Don't tell him that, he prides himself on being a heartless prick, only I'm allowed to know different" I say sitting down and resuming my paper.

Ten minutes later...

"Open the fucking door lezza" He's banging on the door and I roll my eyes,

"Aren't you gonna let him in?" She asks, and I shake my head,

"Leave him a minute to stew" She rolls her eyes and gets up, walking to the door she lets him in,

"Bout fucking time- you're not Naomi" He stops and points at Emily, his face a little confused but then soon changing to the biggest grin ever, "Oh aye"

"You coming in or not?" I shout, and he walks in,

"Alright Red?"

"Cook" She nods,

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He asks, sticking his chest out, "Not like I need to ask"

"Shut up Cook" He walks into the kitchen, sitting on the side,

"Somebody tell Cookie what's going on, Cookie confused"

"Emily saved me from that girl last night, and I brought her home with me"

"Awesome" He has that twinkle in his eye which means the inevitable question is about to come out, "So... you guys fuck?" Emily and I both laugh, before Emily blushes, "You so did, Red you gave it away"

"My name is Emily" She says playfully,

"But she calls-"

"Only I'm allowed to call her that" I wink at him,

"Oh, stop, I'm getting images, operation boner will come up soon"

"James" I warn and he holds his hands up,

"What? I'm in the company of two rather sexy lesbians, my mind is running away with me, I am a male after all"

*******

I know it's short, but falling asleep, so night!


	22. Authors note

I am so sorry about the fact that I haven't updated for months, but my laptop officially died and then we had a problem with our internet, its fixed now, only just, I've been checking your comments on my phone and I know I've pissed a lot of people off, for which I can only apologise.

I'm only left with my mother's computer now so the amount of time I can spend on here is limited, but I will re-read through the story tonight and try and get you an update…

Once again, I'm really sorry.

I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, or died lol. It's amazing how much we rely on technology, huh?

I'll do my best,

Sorry, once more.


	23. Chapter 22

I'm back, and extremely rusty, so do forgive me!

Chapter Twenty – Two

My heart is almost on par with the music pumping through the club. Emily dancing with me, her hands all over me, her eyes on nobody but me, but at the same time… it just doesn't feel right.

I know I've wanted this since I first met her, practically, but there is this niggling feeling deep down inside which makes this whole thing tainted. It makes this whole thing seem less real.

Effy.

Don't misunderstand what I mean by Effy, my meaning is simply a ticking time bomb.

I know that it's going to come back and bite me in the arse. I know that it's going to complicate things, but at the same time, I don't feel like I should tell Emily.

I don't want this… us… to be jeopardised by such a stupid mistake.

"What's wrong?" she shouts in my ear, I smile and shake my head, she frowns, but accepts it for now.

It's the last day of our 'holiday'. Mum's driving us back to school tomorrow. I don't want to go, I wish we could stay here, and stay uncomplicated. Yet as much as I wish that, I know it's a wish that's not going to happen.

The worst thing is, she knows something is wrong. The worst thing is she knows there is something that I'm keeping from her, and the most worst thing; she thinks it's her fault.

I know it happened before we happened, but that is beside the point.

I knew how Emily felt about her, yeah, maybe it was a crush, and yeah I was an arsehole, but that doesn't excuse what I did.

But I can't tell her.

I can't.

I motion to her that I'm going out for a cigarette and she nods. She collars Cook to dance with her.

Don't get me wrong, this past week has been amazing. She's eradicated almost all of my demons, simply by being herself. She doesn't even know she's doing it.

I love that she gets on with Cook, I love that he likes her. I love her.

"I'll just forget it" I shake my head, telling myself assertively, but the voice in the back of my mind giving me a resounding answer, 'You know it's not that easy'.

I silence it for now. Flicking my cigarette across the smoking area and making my way back inside.

I smile as I see Cook and Emily dancing like they've known each other for years.

Nothing fills me with as much happiness as knowing that they get on, my best friend and my girlfriend.

God, that still feels weird to say.

Feels weird, but at the same time, feels amazing. "Hey girlfriend" I say as my arms wrap around her waist. Her face is engulfed in an amazingly bright smile,

"Hello back" She leans in, kissing me briefly on the lips before the next song starts, too which she raises her hand and 'whoops', apparently she likes this song.

That's how the rest of the night was spent, dancing, drinking and kissing.

One of the best nights I've had for a long time, and without the need for drugs.

We left Cook, who had wandered off down an alley with a girl, and we're walking back to my house hand in hand.

"I'm so glad I met you" Emily starts, slurring slightly,

"You're drunk"

"I may be drunk, but a drunk persons words are a sober persons thoughts"

"I agree, but none the less, you're still drunk"

"Damn right" She stumbles a little as she holds her hand up in the air. I laugh at her inability to handle alcohol, but think it's adorable. "I mean it though"

"What?" Ok? I'm a little drunk myself. Problem?

"That I'm glad I met you" She nudges me with her hip, which nearly knocks her balance out of whack completely, but I'm there to steady her. "You know…" She points her finger to nobody in particular, as drunk people do. "I liked you since the first time I saw you"

"Liked?"

"Ok, fancied you…" She chuckles, "Your messy hair, your bad attitude, your cool clothes, you were like an alien to me" I frown, before laughing,

"No more alcohol for you Miss Fitch"

"No, really… and I am so drinking again… it was actually when you called Miss Sutherland sir that made me like you"

"Why?"

"You were different… funny… beautiful" She lowers her head, even blushing when she is completely hammered, so cute.

"You think I'm beautiful" I nudge her while gushing, and just generally taking the piss,

"You are, I think you're the most beautifullest girl I ever saw" I feel my heart cave at that,

"You're not so bad yourself." I see my house, mere metres away, but stops, standing right in front of the door and points at me,

"I mean it…" She takes a breath, "I tried so hard to ignore my feelings for you, so hard. I fell hard and I fell fast for you. I knew straight away…" I love her drunken talk, "I love you, Naomi…" My bottom lip falls between my teeth as I look to the floor, suddenly feeling extremely bashful at this conversation, but the silence that falls upon us mean that she is expecting something, I take a breath, looking up I stare into those big expectant brown eyes, I know that this next sentence is crucial, not only to Red, but to me also, because it will be the first time these four words leave my mouth, when I actually mean it,

"I love you too" She smiles, but her smile shivers as a tear shines in her eye, I lift my hand up and brush the falling tear away, "I do" I smile, tilting my head, her lips crash into mine, crash into a soft, loving kiss that I cannot tear myself away from.

Her hands cup my face, and I feel her lips quivering on mine, "It's ok" I pull away before kissing her back quickly, "It's ok" I reassure her again.

"What the fuck is this?" I hear a shrill yelling and angry footsteps approach us,

"Katie?" Emily suddenly sobers up as her sister approaches her, anger written all over her body, "W-what are you doing here?"

"Looking for my fucking sister who has been missing since Monday? What the fuck are you doing?"

"Look, calm down" I hold my hands up, trying to stop what looks like a fight from breaking out,

"Get the fuck away from me you dyke"

"Excuse me?" I take a step back,

"You heard me, fucking lezza… trying to turn my sister" I look at Emily in disbelief, but she stands there speechless.

"Emily…" I say, and she just looks at me sheepishly,

"You, leave her alone" Katie pushes me away and grabs hold of Emily's hand, "Come on Ems, lets go home"

I stand, waiting for Emily to do something, say something, stick up for herself, stick up for me, anything. But I wait, and I wait… I watch as she walks down the street, Katie grabbing her phone out of her pocket, obviously ringing a taxi.

I feel the tears threaten. Then she turns round, she looks at me and she stops walking, "What you doing?" I hear Katie,

"No.." I hear Emily say, "I won't let you take me from her…"

"Ems, you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying,

"No" Emily shakes her arm out of Katie's and stands defiant. I approach them, "No, just fuck off Katie."

"What?" She strops, "What did you just say to me?"

"You heard her" I say, standing in front of Emily, who looks scared, "Fuck off" I nod towards the end of the road,

"Emily, you're not fucking gay, don't be stupid"

"I am!" She shouts, "What the fuck do you care anyway, you ignore me, mum ignores me, dad ignores me, I'm nothing but a fucking ghost in the family, why the fuck should you care?"

"Of course I care, you're my sister"

"When it suits you" Emily shouts, her tear stained eyes almost bulging with anger, "You've not once asked me about school, you've not once asked me about Naomi, nothing, why should I go with you when Naomi cares more for me than anyone else ever has"

"She's feeding you this, Ems, she's just manipulating you"

"You better fuck off bitch while you can still walk" I warn,

"See, see what I mean"

"You heard her, Katie"

"You wait til I tell mum and dad"

"Tell them, but make sure you remind them who 'Emily' is"

"Why are you being like this?" Katie softens,

"They don't want me, Katie, they never have, you've always been the golden child, always will be… they don't even know I'm there"

"Come on" I tug on her arm,

"That's not true, Emily" She softens, "You're as much a part of this family as I am"

"Just… leave me alone" She starts to walk off, but Katie follows,

"Look, you've had your say, now back off before I make you"

"What you gonna do?" Katie starts, I laugh,

"Oh, don't tempt me, the way you treat her…" I turn my nose up, "You're no fucking sister of hers"

"What do you know?"

"A lot more than you do, you fucking moron, just fuck off, yeah?" I shout, pointing down the road, "Bye bye"

"You haven't seen the last of me dyke"

"That the best you got? Go on, call me dyke, one more time"

"Naomi, she's not worth it" Emily shouts from up the street,

"Dyk-" She can't even finish the word as my fist shuts her up.

"I warned you" I walk off, adrenaline pumping,

"You just fucking wait Emily" Katie shouts, clutching her face, "You just wait til I tell mum"

"Nothing she can do will make me come home, you can bet on that" I stop them, I take Emily inside and I lock the door. As soon as the key clicks in the handle Emily is in tears.

"Hey, hey" I hold her, comforting her, "I'm sorry for hitting her"

"No, no… she deserved it" .

A while has passed and we're laid in bed, neither of us asleep, the events of the evening running through our mind. "You ok, Ems?"

"Yeah" Is her faint reply.

"You're not"

"No…" She sighs, "I can't believe what she called you"

"It's ok"

"No, it's not… she's a fucking bitch"

"She's your sister all the same" I try to reason,

"I know…"

"I'm not trying to take you away from them, you know" She shuffles in the bed, turning towards me, the alcohol well and truly out of her system now,

"Of course I know that…" She says,

"I would never do that…" I say, feeling extremely guilty having punched her twin sister…

"I know" She cups my face,

"I mean what I said… I do love you, more than anything, I know it's only been a month since we met, but I just… I just can't help the way I feel, but I'd understand you know…"

"Understand what?"

"If you want to go back to your family… if they don't approve…"

"Naomi, If they don't approve, that is their problem, I'm with you, whether they like it or not"

"I just don't want you to fall out with your family over me"

"I won't, and if I do, it is not because of you, I promise you that. There have been problems in my family since way before I met you"

Her phone vibrates on the floor, and she picks the phone up, looking at who's calling, "Mum" She says, before cutting the call off and turning the phone off. "Nothing is gonna take me away from you"

"You sure about that?"

I know it's short… just getting back into the swing of it, so apologies if this is shit, haven't actually written since my last update! Bit out of touch


	24. Chapter 23

Once again, sorry again for the delay, looong story. I'm making progress with my laptop so hopefully should be working soon. In which case I should be able to update more often.

The story is moving a little slow, but the plot will thicken in the coming chapters.

Definitely not giving up on it, so don't worry. =D

Thanks a million for all your comments, and still sticking by me, you're all ace!

Chapter Twenty Three

If I ever had an opportunity, now is it. "What do you mean 'Am I sure'?" What little light that is shining into my room is showing me her expectant, frightened eyes.

She sits up slightly, shifting her body weight onto her elbow, getting a better look at me, "Naomi" She's nervous at my hesitancy, "What do you mean?" Her voice wavers slightly, I hear her swallow loudly, and I know that I can never tell her, simply for the fact that I never, ever want to hurt her.

"Nothing... I just mean that you can't just assume that this is a forever thing..." I struggle, realising that probably isn't the best thing to say, "Ok, that came out wrong... Look, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I can see us being together for the rest of our lives, because I can't. That doesn't mean that I don't love you, that doesn't mean that I don't expect us to last, but who knows what is going to happen between now and forever... Who knows Ems? I certainly don't. Whatever will happen between us is... written in the fate's" I lay back down, confident with my answer,

"Ok" It's an elongated 'Ok', which is naturally a disbelieving one,

"Just ignore me, I'm still drunk" I giggle, hoping that that simple chuckle will help her realise that maybe I am a little intoxicated, and not just digging myself a rather large grave.

"You're a nutter" Score!

"That I am" I smile widely, "But you love me for it" She sighs,

"I guess so" I poke her in the stomach, causing a grimace,

"You guess so? Guess?" I joke, and she laughs,

"I know so"

"That's more like it"

Christ, my mouth feels like a badgers arse on a frosty morning! So bloody dry. "Water" I say as I climb out of bed. My head feeling a little heavy on this gloriously bright morning.

Life would be much easier if the sun actually rose at about dinner time, fuck sake. As gross as it is, but we all do it, I lean down into the bathroom sink, my mouth sucking at the cold water coming from the tap. Swallowing like I've been deprived of water for an eternity, I stand up and look in the mirror.

Perfect. I always choose first thing in the morning to look in the mirror, when I look like a complete piece of shit.

I wipe the bit of water that has dribbled down my chin and walk down the stairs. My eyes instantly connecting with the clock which currently reads 11am "Bollocks"

We are supposed to be leaving at 11am.

My panic is suddenly quietened by the vivid smell of bacon frying in the kitchen. "Mother you angel" I say to myself before I go in and greet her, "Full English? You're a star" I say, squinting at the amount of smoke that is currently in the kitchen.

Not that she's burnt the food, but she's used that much oil, that it just engulfs the room in a deliciously smell which somewhat resembles a heart attack.

That's all you need though to cure a hangover, grease, and lots of the stuff. Soaks that alcohol right up.

"Morning sweet, I knew that you'd be up late, so I thought I'd best make you both a decent meal before you leave for another few weeks"

"We're supposed to be leaving now" I say, munching on a sausage which she had just finished cooking,

"We don't have to be there until 8pm at the latest, we've got plenty of time my love" I nod,

"Ok, I'll go wake Ems"

I walk up the stairs lethargically and enter my room once more. I smile as I hear her snoring slightly, her cute little snore that is never a nuisance, just something to make me smile.

Which in itself is a rather generous gift as I don't smile for at least an hour since I've woken.

I walk over to her side of the bed, and smile once more at her sleeping form. She is a sight if ever there was one. Sleeping on her side, her arm hangs over the bed. Her messy bed hair is nothing but sexy and her cool, calm, relaxed expression as she sleeps is peaceful.

I can't resist leaning down and kissing her wrist gently, her arm moves slightly, but her snoring tells me she is still asleep, so I move a little further up her arm, kissing as I go, she's still asleep, but I'm loving how her skin tastes so I continue until I reach her face. I glance at her briefly before leaning down and kissing her exposed shoulder, now she stirs more. Her eyes flutter open as I capture her lips. She moans pleasantly into the kiss, reciprocating a little before pulling away, "You can wake me up every morning" She smiles, the sleep still evident in her eyes,

"Gladly" I smile back, "It's 11" I say, and her eyes widen, "Mum's cooking us breakfast and then we're going" She breathes a sigh of relief,

"Ok, I'll be down in five" She smiles. Leaning up she kisses me quickly, "Oh..." She stops me as I'm just turning round, "Morning"

"Morning" I smile.

"I'm sorry..." I start in the car, and she frowns, "Katie" She reaches over and grabs my hand, pulling it into her lap, she opens my hand and lays the back against her thigh, her fingers gently stroke as she watches them.

"You've got nothing to apologise for" She still doesn't look at me, "If you didn't do that, I'd have..."

"That's a lie" I smile slightly,

"Ok, maybe I wouldn't have hit her... but something to that extent" My head leans back against the headrest behind me as her fingers brush against my skin, relaxing yet exhilarating me.

I could honestly be like this for the rest of my life, having her in my hands.

Then that feeling stirs up once more. Guilt.

My eyes open and I stare at the ceiling, as hard as I try to stop, I can't stop thinking of scenarios when we get back to school. Somehow she'll find out, someone will tell her, Effy will tell her.

I realise that we weren't together at this point, I realise that our feelings weren't recognised, but her feelings for Effy were, no matter how insignificant that may be now, that is a fatal line if crossed, and I crossed it.

She may be as understanding as anything, may be. Then again she may kick me to the curb, break my already fragile heart and doom me forever. Now, that's being selfish as the only heart that could possibly break is hers.

It's of my doing, it's my mistake, it's nothing I can take back, as much as I would give to do just that I can't take it back.

So, for now, It's my burden, it's my problem. When is starts becoming our problem, well... I guess we'll see then,

"Penny for your thoughts?" I turn and see that she's watching me, her face is simple, soothing, but her eyes are smiling, shining through.

"I don't want to go back to school"

"School is very important" She giggles,

"I don't want this week to end" I switch, I turn her hand over and start tracing with my finger. Loving how smooth her skin feels on my fingertips. Loving how easy this is.

I try to ignore the happy gushes which comes from the front of the car, but they are extremely hard to ignore, "I think my mum likes you" I whisper, smiling. She blushes. My favourite thing about her.

"Really"

"Hell yes darling" My mum butts in.

"Mother" I chastise,

"What?" She shrugs, "Am I not allowed to approve of your girlfriend?" We both grin at that, which in turn causes us to blush, "Guess not" She smiles in the rear view mirror.

"I'm gonna have a nap" I announce to the car,

"Me too I think" Emily says while yawning. I unfasten my seatbelt and sprawl out, patting my chest gently, Emily smiles, doing the same. She manoeuvres herself so that her head is on my chest. It's a tight squeeze, but we make it work.

We're awoken to a flash in our faces, a rather rude awakening if you ask me, "Mum" I rub my eyes, Emily sits up and does the same, "What are you doing?"

"Sorry... had to, you just look so cute together" I sit up and look out of the window, and we're back at school.

Lovely. "Thanks Mum, that's all" I say sarcastically, stretching as I get out of the car, only to get a slap on my arse, I turn around and raise my eyebrow at the culprit "Did you just spank me?" She giggles before putting her serious face on,

"Be nice"

"Ok, Ok" I walk over to mum and smile sadly at her, "I hate to say it mother, but I'm gonna miss you" She swallows a lump that has suddenly formed in her throat and tilts her head,

"I'm gonna miss you too baby girl" She pulls on my neck and pulls me into a hug, usually I'd squirm, push her away or make some form of sarcastic comment, but this time I breathe her in, holding onto her tightly.

It's taken Emily to realise that I really have taken her for granted. Sure she can be a pain in the arse, course she can be the most infuriating person on the planet, but she really does have my best interests at heart. She loves me for me, she doesn't wish I was somebody else, wish I was something I'm not, she's grateful that I know who I am, and that I'm finally learning to be comfortable with who that is. "Don't let her go" She whispers in my ear before giving me a final squeeze and pulling away. I smile at her and nod, not only reassuring her, but also reassuring myself a little. Her hand lifts up and brushes the hair out of my face before it lowers again, "Be good" She says, her finger pointing at me,

"Yes, mother" Emily has been witnessing our little farewell with a content smile on her face.

"Thanks for letting me stay, Gina"

"Come here" Mum pulls her into a hug, and I get a little choked up now. I walk over to the boot, grabbing our bags out of the car, just to distract myself. Stop my heart from beating furiously at that heart warming scene. "Right ladies, I'll be going now" She gets in the car, "If you need anything just give me a ring"

"Will do" We both say in unison, "Bye mum" I say as she starts the car. We wait until we can no longer see the car before we grab our bags,

"I love you mum" she says with a big grin,

"Hmm, me too" I smile.

We walk into our room and I sigh instantly, single beds... I've spent the last week with her sleeping by my side and now she's gonna be sleeping on the other side of the room.

"Home sweet home" She says sarcastically.

It's half seven, and we have a welcome back assembly at eight. That gives us time to unpack and get settled again.

"Shit"

"What?" Emily says,

"We haven't done our assignment"

"I have"

"Ok, I haven't done my assignment"

"I'm sure it'll be fine, come on, we better make our way down to the hall"

"Joy" She smiles before walking to the door, "Coming or not"

"Yes, yes" I need a fag.

We walk down with all the other students on our floor, seems as though most of them are back now. I'm too busy laughing at something Emily said to notice that there is one person walking in the opposite direction to us all, making her way towards us.

"Well, what do we have here?"

"Effy"...

I'm getting back into the swing of it now... Kind of...


	25. Chapter 24

Hey guys, I realise that it has been nearly a year since I last wrote anything on this, but I found a load of emails about this story on my old account, and felt immensely guilty… For those of you who are dying for me to finish this, I will… But please do understand it has been a year since I've written anything, so it may take some time for me to get back in the swing of it. I read all of this last night, and if any of you are waiting for More Than Words to finish, I will get back to that also. Sorry once again…

Chapter Twenty Four

"Effy"… I breathe, her dazzling blue eyes taunt me as she finally reaches us,

"Hey Effy, did you have a good half-term?" The ever innocent Red smiles genuinely at Effy,

"Yes, and you two?" She nods to us, her eyes looking down toward our hands which are entwined.

"Brilliant, thanks" She beams, and I can't help but smile slightly at that,

"Yeah, we better get going down to the hall, wouldn't want to be late" I laugh nervously as I pull on Emily's hand, trying to get away from Effy,

"Yes, wouldn't want to be late, would we?" She has a knowing smile on her face, which I do not like.

"Are you coming?" Emily asks, a little frown falls on her face as Effy continues to smile at me, but she manages to tear her eyes away and smiles at Emily,

"I have to get something from my room, but I'll see you guys down there" She walks past us, and I breathe out the breath that I was holding since she first smiled at me.

"That was… weird" Emily says as we carry on walking toward the hall,

"That's Effy" I chuckle, nervously.

We all sit down in the hall as Anal looks on patiently. She waits as all the students are engaged in catching up on each others holiday activities. Though her patience doesn't last long. "Quiet please" She shouts, her shrill voice barely matching the current noise level. I smile, I have actually missed her a little. "Quiet!" She practically screams, and all the girls hush and look toward the front where she's stood with her hands on her hips, "Thanks" She takes a breath. "I would like to take this opportunity to welcome all of you back, I hope you have had an excellent half-term, but the fun stops there, now is the start of exams season. I hope you are all ready because after the next half-term, which is only a few short weeks away, The next time I will be stood here, I will be telling all of you the date and times for the important exams." The student body all sigh, a few nervous sighs at that, but she smiles, "If you are all patient in lessons, if you all listen and do your upmost best to achieve what the teacher sets for you, then I can personally guarantee your success in these exams. However, if you don't try, well, then that isn't my responsibility. Our jobs as teachers is to prepare you for these exams, and if you can't help us in doing that…" She looks right at me "Then you are destined to fail" I nudge Emily,

"If that wasn't a warning, I don't know what is" I smile,

"I understand you are all eager to get back to lessons, so I won't keep you any longer" She grins, "You can proceed to your lessons immediately, asides from Emily Fitch" The room fills with the sound of people straining their neck to look at the blushing redhead, myself included in that.

"What?" She says, looking extremely nervous and scared as Anal deliberately seeks her out,

"Dismissed" The students all get up, leaving the hall, but I remain with Emily as Anal walks towards us, "You can leave Miss Cambell"

"I'd like her to stay" Emily says, gripping my hand,

"That is not necessary" She shakes her head, but sees the look in Emily's eyes and softens slightly, "Very well"

"What's going on?" I ask,

"I think we should take this to my office, if you wouldn't mind" Emily nods her head, and we all get up and make our way to her office.

"Take a seat" She sits behind her imposing desk as we sit in the two chairs neatly arranged in front, "I had a phone call this morning from your Mother, Emily" you could feel the tension in the room intensify. "I'm afraid she isn't pleased with you"

"I know" Emily's small voice is barely heard, "What did she say?"

"She wishes for you to go home, immediately." My stomach drops, "She's told me what happened during the holidays," We both to one another, fear evident in our faces, "As your head teacher, and the fact that your mother pays your fees, I have a duty to do as she says, Emily"

"I'm not leaving" She says, her voice cracks a little with the emotion.

"I'm afraid there is no other choice"

"There is" I say, raising my voice a little, "Her fee is already paid for this year, therefore she doesn't have to leave right away"

"That is correct, Naomi, but I have a duty of care for my students, and for my students parent's, and if one of them wishes for a student to leave, then I have to let them."

"That is fucking pathetic" She frowns slightly, but doesn't rise,

"I know… Emily.." She starts, trying to get her attention, "I can only apologise, I feel I'm somewhat to blame"

"Why?"

"I'm well aware of your… relationship" She looks between the two of us, "I fear…" She struggles with her words, bitch better struggle as I know exactly what she is getting at, "Had I chosen a different roommate for you, I fear this would never have happened" I open my mouth to give her the biggest balling ever, but I'm beat to it,

"Don't you dare blame this on her…" her voice isn't quiet, her voice isn't unsure,

"Emily, I'm blaming myself… I've noticed a change in you since Naomi first arrived…"

"Yes, I've been brought out of my shell, fuck sake, I can't believe-" Anal holds her hand out,

"Please, let me finish." Emily nods, her anger still boiling, "I've noticed a change in you Emily. Last year you were quiet, nervous, shy, your grades were outstanding, a fantastic student on paper, but in front of me stood a scared little girl. You have grown so much in such a short time, and I know that it is because of the young lady sitting to your right." She smiles softly, "I have also noticed a change in you Naomi, but that isn't necessary right now. You are now outspoken in class, you engage in activities very well, I see you blossoming into a young woman, Emily, and I am sad to hear that you have to leave"

"I don't want to leave"

"I know this… and that is what I have said to your mother. She believes that what you are going through now is a phase, and feels that you would benefit more if you were to leave here and go to a normal school… I… However, don't feel the same" She smiles, I sit up in my seat a little, excited at the prospect of what might happen after she said that. "It may be a phase, it may not, that doesn't interest me, your well being, however, does. It would not benefit you to move schools so close to the exams. This, your mother agrees with. I have a made a deal"

"A deal?" We both say in unison,

"Yes. You can stay here, finish your school year, finish your exams, and have the possibility of coming back next year for your final exams, but…"

"But…" I say quietly,

"Now this part concerns you, Naomi" I raise my eyebrows, "Effective immediately, the dorm room you share with Emily will be your own, I am moving Emily to another room"

"What?" I say, "Why, what effect does that have?" I nearly shout,

"A profound effect on Emily's mother, who doesn't want her daughter sharing a room with the girl _she_ thinks has manipulated her daughter… it means Emily can stay in school" Emily grabs my hand,

"It'll be fine, Nai, it means I can stay" She smiles sadly…

"Ok… So who's her new roommate?"

"Well unfortunately there are no available beds as we have a full student body… but fortunately, Effy has agreed to have Emily in her room for the rest of the year."

"Effy?" I shout

It's been so long since I've written anything, so give me time, I'm sure I'll get back to my best…


	26. Chapter 25

Thank you so much for all your amazing comments, you don't know how much it still amazes me that you're interested in this story. I know it's been over a week since I last updated but I've been crazy busy with work and everything it's just been a struggle. Also I got my first blackberry, so you can imagine how much I've been on that lol.

Thanks again, and hope I don't disappoint

…

Chapter 25

I feel my heart rate pick up almost immediately as Anal proposes her deal. The panic starts in my chest as I realise that this is the kick up the arse I needed.

I realise it's not a big deal, I realise that we weren't together when I slept with Effy, I realise that Red no longer has feelings for Effy, but she did when I slept with her, and I knew that.

I also had feelings for Red when I slept with Effy. It's not good. Time to come clean I think. "Are you ok?" she asks as we finally finish the day of lessons and are alone,

"Not really" I say, not looking at her, "I think we should talk" I see the panic written on her face and I already hate this,

"If it's about me and Effy, I promise there is nothing there anymore"

"It's not…" I scratch my head, "Well, it kind of is…"

"What?" I hesitate, and I hear her uneasy sigh as she loses her temper slightly, "Naomi, just tell me"

"I slept with Effy" I cringe,

"What?" She says softly, "When?"

"Before we were together" I say quickly.

Silence… The silence is so bad that you could probably hear someone fart down stairs. My hearts pounding as I watch her. She's not crying, she's not angry, she's just… erm… thinking. "Em, please, say something"

"I don't know what to say" Her quiet voice breaks the silence, if only for a short time as she continues to stare at anything but me. "Did you…"

"What?

"Know how I felt about her?" Shit…

"Yes"

"Then why?"

"Emily, I was an arsehole… I'm not blaming you, but you have to understand… I hadn't felt anything close to the way I felt when we first kissed since Jen, and it scared the living shit out of me. I didn't want Effy… I just wanted to forget you for a short while. It didn't work" I can feel the tears in my eyes, I can hear them in my voice,

"When did it happen?"

"The night you first met Amy… but we got interrupted.."

"So twice?"

"Technically, yes…"

"Twice!" Now she shouts,

"It didn't mean anything, Emily… and we weren't even together at the time"

"Was it before our first time together?" She asks, anger evident in her voice, "Was it?"

"The first time… yes"

"But the second, no? Right" I don't answer, "Right!"

"Yes…"

"I don't believe you…"

"Me? You don't believe me?" I laugh, and instantly regret it, if looks could kill I'd be six feet under. "Emily, you were fucking that skank in our room when me and Effy slept together… what did you want me to do? Sit and listen to you fucking her, listen to the girl I was silently falling for fuck someone else?" Now she's quiet, "No… I was falling for you, hard and fast at that time, and the only thing that stopped me from picturing you fucking that girl was to fuck Effy… It was a mistake, but at the time it helped… I haven't spoken to her since, I haven't done anything, it's you I love, and not her, ok?"

She finally looks at me…"Ok"

"Ok?"

"Yeah" She says, "It happened before we got together, it doesn't count." I smile, "But… I just need… I need some time, ok? To get my head around the fact that my girlfriend fucked my roommate" You can't miss the sharpness in which she said that last part, she turns around and seems to struggle with what she wants to do.

I stand frozen… I feel relief, but I feel sorrow. I realise this is our last night together in this school, she's moving into Effy's room tomorrow morning. I feel I should say something. I feel that I should at least try to talk this out with her, I'd hate for us to part on bad terms. Sure we have classes together, but that doesn't leave time to talk.

I know her, I know that she'll sit and dwell on this, I know that she's going to be sat in Effy's room, picturing us together, and that is something I cannot bear for her.

"Emily" I say, ever so softly, she jumps slightly, the silence in the room being broken for the first time in a while, "Can we talk?"

"What's to talk about?" She doesn't turn around at her desk, she's stopped writing so I know she's waiting for me to continue the conversation.

"Us"

"Not now, Nai" She shakes her head slightly, lowering it as she starts writing again,

"It may be our last chance for a while"

"I need a while"

….

We barely spoke for the rest of the night, she at her desk doing some homework, I sat on my bed reading and listening to my iPod. We said goodnight as we both quietly and solemnly got into bed, and the lights were switched out, plunging us into darkness. I've been sat staring at the ceiling for over an hour now, I hear her quiet breathing, but I can't make out if she's awake or not.

I play that little game in my head that some people do before they go to sleep. I imagine what it would be like had I not slept with Effy, I wonder what it'd be like if Emily's mum hadn't rang up and basically given Anal an ultimatum, I wonder how things would have panned out if I hadn't gone off the rails. Would I have met Emily eventually, with us living so close? Would we still feel the same way if our first meeting had been completely different?

I'm wakened out of my little pre-dream by the sound of shuffling. I automatically turn my head towards Emily's bed, even though I can't see anything. I hear tiny footprints heading towards me, making me sit up, squinting my eyes and out of the tiny light in the room I see Emily approaching me, "Em?" I say, my voice husky, like it is after you haven't spoken for a few hours.

I feel her finger connect with my lips, "Shh, no talking" She says, her voice huskier than normal. She pulls the covers off me, shoving them on the floor. Her finger leaves my lips and tenderly trails down my neck, my chest and lands at the bottom of my top. She rubs her finger along the trail of exposed skin just above my pyjama bottoms. I'm instantly wet, and I'm sure she knows this.

She's still standing, but she leans down to take my lips with hers. Her kiss is urgent, almost like she wants to get this over and done with. I try to slow the kiss down, but she doesn't resist, in fact, her kiss becomes more urgent, more frenzied. Her fingers slide under my pyjamas and are instantly at where they are needed. She runs her fingers down my wet folds, and I feel her groan into my mouth at the feel. She continues kissing me, harder, deeper, her fingers find my hardened clit, rubbing, flicking. Her pace is slow at first, but it soon matches her kiss. I lift my hips upward, letting her fingers go further down. She takes the hint and pushes two fingers inside of me. My gasp is muffled by her mouth as I continue to ride her hand. Being able to breathe and continue kissing Emily like this is almost killing me, so I pull away, pushing my sweat covered forehead against hers. I feel her heavy warm breath on my face, getting deeper, louder as I get closer and closer.

It's getting too much for me, I need to feel her, I need her closer to me, but she doesn't. She still stands, pleasuring me fantastically with her skilled fingers. I'm at the edge, getting very close to falling, my breathing is ragged, and with one final thrust I'm done. My body falls back onto the bed, my limbs twitching every now and then. My eyes that were forced closed are now open. I look up and I see Emily's eyes glistening in the slight light. She removes her hands from my pyjamas, leans down kisses me on the forehead, lingering slightly. "I love you" She says quietly, ever so quietly. I feel it hit straight through my already pacing heart. My stomach flips, but the warmth is gone, she turns around and gets straight back into bed.

Confusion is an understatement. Possibly the biggest of the year, but I let it slide, I realise she's in no mood to talk, and the fact that she's still kissing me, let alone fucking me is possibly a good sign, so I do all that I can for tonight, I almost breathe four words that I hope will help her see how much I really do care, "I love you too"

….

For possibly the first time ever, I wake before Emily. I didn't sleep very well, which isn't surprising. I glance at my clock, 6:29am. I have to laugh, waking up one minute before the alarm is due to go off, how strange.

I get a sudden strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, as my mind goes back to the events of last night. I can't make the feeling out, it's a strange one. I hope Emily has forgiven me, and even though what happened last night may make it seem like she has, I'm not out of the woods just yet.

The alarm goes off, possibly scaring me more than it would if I were unconscious, and that feelings grows in my stomach as Emily stirs from her sleep. Her arm hitting out at her alarm clock as I turn mine off. She opens her sleepy eyes and looks at me, I smile, and then she quickly averts her gaze. The feelings grows once more. I sit up and walk toward the window where I grab a cigarette and light it up. I hear her get up, "Morning" She says quietly,

"Morning" I look at her and smile. She smiles slightly,

"I'm gonna go get a shower" My smile fades, and I suddenly realise what the feeling is in my stomach, worry.

…


	27. Chapter 26

I realise that again its been way over a year since I've updated this and I am deeply sorry for that. I will try to finish my stories, though I'm not sure how often I will update. A lot has happened and changed since I first started these stories and I hate leaving things unfinished, so bear with me and I'll finish them all for you, thanks for being so patient.

Chapter 26

I perch on the windowsill, cigarette in my hand deliberating over yesterday's events. I know I've got about twenty minutes of alone time before Emily emerges from the shower. If not a little longer as she may be thinking things over too.

So much has happened in the last week that I'm struggling to get my head around it all, struggling to understand why it's all gone so wrong, shouldn't falling in love be simple? Especially if the person you fall in love with loves you back? It just seems that each time I'm happy an obstacle comes into play which makes everything fall apart.

I realise I've been thrown a lifeline in Anal here, having her come to a deal with Emily's parents which allows her to stay here as opposed to hours away. But Effy? Why Effy? Why couldn't it be somebody else, why can't Emily ask to be roomed with another student? Why can't I be roomed with another person?

I can feel Emily pulling away from me, and the more and more I think about what she did to me last night, the more it feels like that was a goodbye. She was so distant, so cold towards me, sure there was love there, sure there was feelings, but not like there have been before.

Before I can even contemplate what to do, my minds made up. I get dressed quickly, throwing on the nearest item of clothing I can. I storm out of my room, stomping down the hallway, down the stairs to the room I so desperately need to be. I bang on the door, hoping to god that this person is in, I wait for the door to open, wait impatiently as I knock again. I hear footsteps run towards the door and a weary looking Anal opens, "What is it?" Her worried look dissipates as she sees me. "What is it Naomi?"

"May I come in please?" I calm down, realising I need to be on my best behaviour here. She opens the door wider and lets me in, she motions to the chair as she sits in hers,

"What is it?" she says as she puts away the large mirror on her desk, she was obviously halfway through getting ready.

"Emily" I say simply and she has a sympathetic look on her face,

"I can't do anything about that, Naomi, Emily is a fantastic student and I don't want to lose her, I can't keep her with you"

"Please, her mum will never know," I lean forward, trying to state my case, trying to show her how much I need her help, "I won't tell anybody, I promise"

"My hands are tied, Naomi"

"Look Miss Sutherland, I'm losing her" I say, the tears threatening, "I told her about Effy and myself, and she's become distant"

"I'm afraid that's not my problem" she says, raising her eyebrows, "My problem is not your relationship, Naomi" She sighs, "I've been watching the two of you, and although I should be advising you both against fraternizing, I know how good for each other you both are"

"Then help me please"

"I've turned a blind eye against the both of you, I've heard students talking and gossiping and I was very aware of what was going on, possibly before the both of you were, for that I was wrong and I apologise" I'm actually taken aback. "If I had separated the two of you earlier then it wouldn't have come down to this" she sighs once more "If I had done my job properly, Emily's mother wouldn't have had to get involved"

"But it's not your place to separate us" I say, losing my temper slightly, "Why does separating us become the answer when there is no problem?"

"Because Naomi, there is a problem for Mrs Fitch. This is not a public school, I can't turn around to Mrs Fitch and say that she has not right in telling me how to handle my students because she is paying for her daughter to be here. I have a duty to her, as much as Emily. Even though I see no problem in the two of you sharing a room, I have to do what Mrs Fitch has agreed to otherwise she will remove Emily from this school, do you understand?" I nod,

"I understand, but why Effy?"

"Because she is the only student who has room for Emily"

"Can't you move somebody else and make room for Emily somewhere else?"

"No. Why should I move another student? That is not fair"

"Nor is putting Emily with Effy"

"I realise you have a problem with Elizabeth, but I am not doing this to accommodate you, Naomi, I am doing this to accommodate Mrs Fitch"

"But-"

"That is the end of this discussion Naomi, please return to your room" I can't help the frustrated growl that escapes my lips as I get up out of my chair and storm out of Anal's office. I don't blame her, this is Emily's mum's fault, and I intend to tell her this when I see her.

I slowly make my way up to my room, ignoring the glances of other students as I do. I walk gingerly into the room, peaking my head round to see if Emily is there, and she is. Her eyes lift up to me as I walk in, but almost immediately are back staring at the floor, "Emily, please talk to me" I plead, she shakes her head once, as if she's plucking the courage up to say something she knows is going to hurt me, "Please"

"I love you" She breathes, "But right now, I just need some space Naomi"

"I was honest with you, Em, and this is how I'm repaid"

"you were only honest with me when you had to be, if none of this would have happened I doubt you'd have told me anything"

"That's not true, I've been toying with telling you for the past week"

"But you only told me when you _had _to!" She practically yells.

"I know, and I'm sorry" I say, the tears threatening once more. It's far too early to be having this argument, "I was scared that I was gonna lose you Emily. I was petrified, I talked myself out of telling you because I've never been so happy, not once in my entire life, and I couldn't cope if I lost you because of one silly mistake"

"You did it twice" She snaps,

"For fuck sake, and both times were because I was struggling with my feelings for you" I say, slamming my arms down in frustration,

"So its my fault now?"

"No, for fuck sake, stop twisting everything I say" I scream, now she stands up, approaching me quickly,

"I'm not fucking twisting, you just said you slept with her because of me, because of your feelings for me, sometimes I think that I'm just huge fucking burden to you, I just think it would be better if we just forgot all of this"

"If you think you can forget it all, then fine, go right ahead" I say, crossing my arms, feeling my heart crack at the realisation of what she just said.

"Well it would be fucking easier wouldn't it?"

"Of course it would Emily, but I'm not with you because it's fucking easy. It's the hardest thing I've ever done is let you in, after everything that's happened I vowed to myself never to let anyone in again, never to let anyone hurt me, but I thought you were different. I eventually convinced myself to let you in and this is what happens. Just forget about me, move in with Effy and get on with your life, I hope you find someone who is so easy to be with, because I know I'm a fucking nightmare!"

"You're not a nightmare, Naomi. Not in the slightest. You're a dream come true, but I can't not be with you. Didn't last week prove that? I couldn't even spend one night away from you. I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to wake up with you anymore, or fall asleep with you. I can't stand that I'm going to be with Effy, and not you. I hate it, can't you see that?"

"No, I didn't" I soften, "Because you didn't speak to me, after yesterday I thought that's it, you don't want me anymore" I say, the tears spilling,

"Of course I want you" She says, "I've wanted you since I first saw you, and I never want to be without you, that's why I'm being like this." She wraps her arms around me,

"Stop pushing me away Emily, I can't cope, I can't have you push me away because your mum will have won, Katie will have won, I can't lose you, not to them"

"You're not gonna lose me to anyone" She holds me tighter, "I promise"


End file.
